Post your corny jokes - Page 1270

**effCup** · September 17th, 2017, 01:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dazza2

Jeez that was awful pmsl

You could have milked it a bit more:
After getting tied up in knots by the court he was eventually bailed.

**gedly** · September 17th, 2017, 04:07 PM

A man has been finally arrested for the theft of large amounts of ammonia and chloroform. Police are confident that the evidence is overwhelming.

**trailmaster** · September 17th, 2017, 09:38 PM

Little Johnny's Halloween

Little Johnny was on a park bench stuffing all of his Halloween candy in his mouth. An old lady came over and said. "Son, don't you know that eating all of that candy will rot your teeth, give you acne, and make you sick?"

"My grandfather lived to be 105 years old!" replied Johnny.

"Did he eat five candy bars at a sitting?" the old lady retorted.

"No," said Johnny, "but he minded his own freakin' business."

**bp666** · September 18th, 2017, 02:36 AM

I accidentally swallowed my small crossword dictionary the other day.

It gave me thesaurus throat I've ever had.

**bp666** · September 18th, 2017, 02:38 AM

Getting really nervous. My exams in cloth weaving are looming.

**bloke57** · September 18th, 2017, 03:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bp666

Getting really nervous. My exams in cloth weaving are looming.

Where do you get your material?

You must have a warped sense of humour.

**gedly** · September 18th, 2017, 03:59 PM

My wife would only give me blowjobs before we married. You should have seen the looks on our relatives' and the minister's faces when we got to the church.

**bp666** · September 18th, 2017, 06:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bloke57

Where do you get your material?

You must have a warped sense of humour.

You've cottoned on fast!

Really, I'm just hanging on by a thread, and it could all unravel in an instant.

**slowdiver** · September 18th, 2017, 07:54 PM

I'd always thought that 'pumpkin spice' was something that David Beckham did to Victoria...

**tygrkhat40** · September 19th, 2017, 02:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bp666

Getting really nervous. My exams in cloth weaving are looming.

Quote:

Originally Posted by bloke57

Where do you get your material?

You must have a warped sense of humour.

Quote:

Originally Posted by bp666

You've cottoned on fast!

Really, I'm just hanging on by a thread, and it could all unravel in an instant.

You guys must be cut from the same cloth.

September 18th, 2017, 02:36 AM	#12694
bp666 Vintage Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Posts: 1,073 Thanks: 77,520 Thanked 14,184 Times in 1,074 Posts	I accidentally swallowed my small crossword dictionary the other day. It gave me thesaurus throat I've ever had. Last edited by bp666; September 18th, 2017 at 02:37 AM.. Reason: .

September 18th, 2017, 07:54 PM	#12699
slowdiver Vintage Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: North West UK Posts: 582 Thanks: 787 Thanked 17,682 Times in 563 Posts	I'd always thought that 'pumpkin spice' was something that David Beckham did to Victoria... __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

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September 17th, 2017, 04:07 PM	#12692
gedly Veteran Member Join Date: May 2007 Posts: 3,234 Thanks: 19,879 Thanked 69,309 Times in 3,171 Posts	A man has been finally arrested for the theft of large amounts of ammonia and chloroform. Police are confident that the evidence is overwhelming.

September 17th, 2017, 09:38 PM	#12693
trailmaster Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2013 Location: Chicago, Illinois, USA Posts: 59,895 Thanks: 1,328,998 Thanked 707,202 Times in 60,069 Posts	Little Johnny's Halloween Little Johnny was on a park bench stuffing all of his Halloween candy in his mouth. An old lady came over and said. "Son, don't you know that eating all of that candy will rot your teeth, give you acne, and make you sick?" "My grandfather lived to be 105 years old!" replied Johnny. "Did he eat five candy bars at a sitting?" the old lady retorted. "No," said Johnny, "but he minded his own freakin' business."

September 18th, 2017, 02:38 AM	#12695
bp666 Vintage Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Posts: 1,073 Thanks: 77,520 Thanked 14,184 Times in 1,074 Posts	Getting really nervous. My exams in cloth weaving are looming.

September 18th, 2017, 03:59 PM	#12697
gedly Veteran Member Join Date: May 2007 Posts: 3,234 Thanks: 19,879 Thanked 69,309 Times in 3,171 Posts	My wife would only give me blowjobs before we married. You should have seen the looks on our relatives' and the minister's faces when we got to the church.