The Biggest Lie I Tell Myself - Page 4

**ball7** · September 2nd, 2017, 05:57 PM

She likes me

**Jake Gittes** · September 3rd, 2017, 02:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ball7

She likes me

Told myself this over and over

Until one girl I liked said the following to me: "Do you have a girlfriend?"

Turns out that this question is an indicator that a woman is interested in you!

Damn me for not taking the next step and asking her out, or else I'd be in her husband's place right now!

MaxJoker · September 3rd, 2017, 02:31 PM

Women aren't put off by my freakishly inhumanly large sixty inch ,

waist

**ball7** · September 3rd, 2017, 06:12 PM

I will do it tomorrow and there will still be time

MaxJoker · September 4th, 2017, 01:51 PM

They`ll respect me in the morning

PatentHappy · September 13th, 2017, 12:41 PM

It was not wrong to use the spare chair in my cubicle as my farting chair to dissuade coworkers from borrowing it without permission.

I enjoy the way people avert their eyes when they pass me in the hallway.

The Luminol will not detect any blood on the ceiling because my daily OCD bleaching routine is beyond reproach.

PatentHappy · September 13th, 2017, 12:53 PM

I do not regret marrying a beautiful rageaholic, despite my eyesight degrading faster than my hearing.

I know my kids love me because disdain is just delayed affection piling up in my rewards column.

I am no longer compelled to follow people home who cut me off in traffic.

PatentHappy · September 13th, 2017, 01:09 PM

[QUOTE]

(originally by Jake Gittes) Until one girl I liked said the following to me: "Do you have a girlfriend?"

Turns out that this question is an indicator that a woman is interested in you!

[/QUOTE]

That's what I thought, too. Until I found out she and her husband just needed help moving some suspiciously heavy trunks onto their boat.

**Welderman** · September 13th, 2017, 06:36 PM

My bald patch will grow back..

**Sir Honkers** · September 13th, 2017, 10:18 PM

All will be well.

September 3rd, 2017, 02:31 PM	#33
MaxJoker Beloved Brother Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19 Posts: 69,106 Thanks: 372,713 Thanked 987,580 Times in 69,067 Posts	The Biggest Lie I Tell Myself Women aren't put off by my freakishly inhumanly large sixty inch , waist __________________ My hypocrisy only goes so To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

September 4th, 2017, 01:51 PM	#35
MaxJoker Beloved Brother Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19 Posts: 69,106 Thanks: 372,713 Thanked 987,580 Times in 69,067 Posts	The Biggest Lie I Tell Myself They`ll respect me in the morning __________________ My hypocrisy only goes so To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

September 13th, 2017, 12:41 PM	#36
PatentHappy Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2012 Posts: 129 Thanks: 1,656 Thanked 1,462 Times in 129 Posts	My lies travel in threes It was not wrong to use the spare chair in my cubicle as my farting chair to dissuade coworkers from borrowing it without permission. I enjoy the way people avert their eyes when they pass me in the hallway. The Luminol will not detect any blood on the ceiling because my daily OCD bleaching routine is beyond reproach.

September 13th, 2017, 12:53 PM	#37
PatentHappy Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2012 Posts: 129 Thanks: 1,656 Thanked 1,462 Times in 129 Posts	My lies have friends, even if I don't I do not regret marrying a beautiful rageaholic, despite my eyesight degrading faster than my hearing. I know my kids love me because disdain is just delayed affection piling up in my rewards column. I am no longer compelled to follow people home who cut me off in traffic.

September 13th, 2017, 01:09 PM	#38
PatentHappy Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2012 Posts: 129 Thanks: 1,656 Thanked 1,462 Times in 129 Posts	[QUOTE] (originally by Jake Gittes) Until one girl I liked said the following to me: "Do you have a girlfriend?" Turns out that this question is an indicator that a woman is interested in you! [/QUOTE] That's what I thought, too. Until I found out she and her husband just needed help moving some suspiciously heavy trunks onto their boat. Last edited by PatentHappy; September 13th, 2017 at 01:16 PM.. Reason: Restoring attribution to the quote I botched

September 2nd, 2017, 05:57 PM	#31
ball7 Veteran Member Join Date: Jul 2013 Location: MIA Posts: 15,691 Thanks: 66,289 Thanked 210,000 Times in 15,731 Posts	She likes me

September 3rd, 2017, 06:12 PM	#34
ball7 Veteran Member Join Date: Jul 2013 Location: MIA Posts: 15,691 Thanks: 66,289 Thanked 210,000 Times in 15,731 Posts	I will do it tomorrow and there will still be time

September 13th, 2017, 06:36 PM	#39
Welderman Veteran Member Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: County of Champions Posts: 3,707 Thanks: 55,074 Thanked 64,245 Times in 3,729 Posts	My bald patch will grow back.. __________________ ''Elga, 5mm cast iron welding rods''.. Nice.. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

September 13th, 2017, 10:18 PM	#40
Sir Honkers Veteran Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Land Of Glorious Leader Posts: 30,354 Thanks: 286,908 Thanked 386,314 Times in 30,311 Posts	All will be well.