Register on the forum now to remove ALL ads + popups + get access to tons of hidden content for members only!
vintage erotica forum vintage erotica forum vintage erotica forum
vintage erotica forum

Go Back   Vintage Erotica Forums > Discussion & Talk Forum > Funnies

Follow Vintage Erotica Forum on Twitter
Our Live Cams Meet Our Girls Register FAQ Members List Calendar Mark Forums Read

Funnies Got a joke or something funny that you want to share? Post it here!


Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 04-29-2012, 11:59 PM   #1561
luddite
Vintage Member
 
luddite's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: N.D.G.
Posts: 1,367
Thanks: 107,612
Thanked 8,579 Times in 1,332 Posts
luddite 25000+luddite 25000+luddite 25000+luddite 25000+luddite 25000+luddite 25000+luddite 25000+luddite 25000+luddite 25000+luddite 25000+luddite 25000+
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by @llatse@ View Post
I wish I could deny everything
Granted, but he that denied it, supplied it.

I wish that other people thought that my farts smelled nice.
__________________
Meanwhile, back at the oasis, the arabs were eating their dates...
luddite is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to luddite For This Useful Post:
Old 04-30-2012, 01:15 AM   #1562
TCO95
Veteran Member
 
TCO95's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: This member is not allowed in your country.
Posts: 5,152
Thanks: 48,041
Thanked 47,394 Times in 5,190 Posts
TCO95 175000+TCO95 175000+TCO95 175000+TCO95 175000+TCO95 175000+TCO95 175000+TCO95 175000+TCO95 175000+TCO95 175000+TCO95 175000+TCO95 175000+
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by luddite View Post
Granted, but he that denied it, supplied it.

I wish that other people thought that my farts smelled nice.
Granted. The same people who have head cheese in their shoes and tin foil under their hats think Every Little Thing You Do Is Magic.

I wish high pressure weather systems wouldn't give me headaches.
TCO95 is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to TCO95 For This Useful Post:
Old 04-30-2012, 04:41 PM   #1563
@llatse@
Vintage Member
 
@llatse@'s Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Over the hills and far away
Posts: 1,114
Thanks: 3,023
Thanked 12,826 Times in 1,273 Posts
@llatse@ 50000+@llatse@ 50000+@llatse@ 50000+@llatse@ 50000+@llatse@ 50000+@llatse@ 50000+@llatse@ 50000+@llatse@ 50000+@llatse@ 50000+@llatse@ 50000+@llatse@ 50000+
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by TCO95 View Post
I wish high pressure weather systems wouldn't give me headaches.
Granted high pressure never bothers you again as you are permanently stuck under the mother of low pressure systems the hurricane.

I wish I was brave enough to be a storm chaser
__________________
The Milkman comes in the morning..........The Milfman comes in your Mrs
@llatse@ is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to @llatse@ For This Useful Post:
Old 04-30-2012, 09:58 PM   #1564
TCO95
Veteran Member
 
TCO95's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: This member is not allowed in your country.
Posts: 5,152
Thanks: 48,041
Thanked 47,394 Times in 5,190 Posts
TCO95 175000+TCO95 175000+TCO95 175000+TCO95 175000+TCO95 175000+TCO95 175000+TCO95 175000+TCO95 175000+TCO95 175000+TCO95 175000+TCO95 175000+
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by @llatse@ View Post
Granted high pressure never bothers you again as you are permanently stuck under the mother of low pressure systems the hurricane.

I wish I was brave enough to be a storm chaser
Granted. Stormy Daniels will use this to her advantage when she rips you off for your wallet, watch and jewelry after that "FREE" lap dance.

I wish Simon Cowell would give me power of attorney over his business.
TCO95 is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to TCO95 For This Useful Post:
Old 04-30-2012, 11:44 PM   #1565
Booji Boy
Member
 
Booji Boy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Planet Earth
Posts: 69
Thanks: 568
Thanked 546 Times in 69 Posts
Booji Boy 2500+Booji Boy 2500+Booji Boy 2500+Booji Boy 2500+Booji Boy 2500+Booji Boy 2500+Booji Boy 2500+Booji Boy 2500+Booji Boy 2500+Booji Boy 2500+Booji Boy 2500+
Default

Granted. Unfortunately you misread his job advertisment & you now have the power of attorney over his asses and not assets, 1000 of them on his immense Donkey Sanctuary in Oldham.

I wish I could sail around the world single-handedly.
__________________
DUTY NOW FOR THE FUTURE
Booji Boy is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Booji Boy For This Useful Post:
Old 05-01-2012, 12:23 AM   #1566
TCO95
Veteran Member
 
TCO95's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: This member is not allowed in your country.
Posts: 5,152
Thanks: 48,041
Thanked 47,394 Times in 5,190 Posts
TCO95 175000+TCO95 175000+TCO95 175000+TCO95 175000+TCO95 175000+TCO95 175000+TCO95 175000+TCO95 175000+TCO95 175000+TCO95 175000+TCO95 175000+
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Booji Boy View Post
Granted. Unfortunately you misread his job advertisment & you now have the power of attorney over his asses and not assets, 1000 of them on his immense Donkey Sanctuary in Oldham.

I wish I could sail around the world single-handedly.
Granted. However, Genie does not need to know what you will be doing with the other hand. Beware, whales have a nasty habit of showing up to spoil wishes made in this thread.

I wish Ralph Nader to be the next President of the U.S. of A.
TCO95 is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to TCO95 For This Useful Post:
Old 05-01-2012, 09:30 AM   #1567
luddite
Vintage Member
 
luddite's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: N.D.G.
Posts: 1,367
Thanks: 107,612
Thanked 8,579 Times in 1,332 Posts
luddite 25000+luddite 25000+luddite 25000+luddite 25000+luddite 25000+luddite 25000+luddite 25000+luddite 25000+luddite 25000+luddite 25000+luddite 25000+
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by TCO95 View Post
I wish Ralph Nader to be the next President of the U.S. of A.
Granted. In gratitude, he appoints you you Director of the EPA, where your job will be to protect Humpback and Sperm whales.

I wish the whales to express their gratitude in their usual manner.
__________________
Meanwhile, back at the oasis, the arabs were eating their dates...
luddite is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to luddite For This Useful Post:
Old 05-01-2012, 06:28 PM   #1568
@llatse@
Vintage Member
 
@llatse@'s Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Over the hills and far away
Posts: 1,114
Thanks: 3,023
Thanked 12,826 Times in 1,273 Posts
@llatse@ 50000+@llatse@ 50000+@llatse@ 50000+@llatse@ 50000+@llatse@ 50000+@llatse@ 50000+@llatse@ 50000+@llatse@ 50000+@llatse@ 50000+@llatse@ 50000+@llatse@ 50000+
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by luddite View Post
I wish the whales to express their gratitude in their usual manner.
Granted you're blown off by the blow hole

I wish for the cow that produces the milk of kindness
__________________
The Milkman comes in the morning..........The Milfman comes in your Mrs

Last edited by @llatse@; 05-01-2012 at 06:30 PM.. Reason: spelling
@llatse@ is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to @llatse@ For This Useful Post:
Old 05-01-2012, 11:55 PM   #1569
luddite
Vintage Member
 
luddite's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: N.D.G.
Posts: 1,367
Thanks: 107,612
Thanked 8,579 Times in 1,332 Posts
luddite 25000+luddite 25000+luddite 25000+luddite 25000+luddite 25000+luddite 25000+luddite 25000+luddite 25000+luddite 25000+luddite 25000+luddite 25000+
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by @llatse@ View Post
I wish for the cow that produces the milk of kindness
Granted, but it has mad cow disease.

I wish to give @llatse@ a bull so he can always get cream for his coffee.
__________________
Meanwhile, back at the oasis, the arabs were eating their dates...
luddite is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to luddite For This Useful Post:
Old 05-02-2012, 12:46 AM   #1570
TCO95
Veteran Member
 
TCO95's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: This member is not allowed in your country.
Posts: 5,152
Thanks: 48,041
Thanked 47,394 Times in 5,190 Posts
TCO95 175000+TCO95 175000+TCO95 175000+TCO95 175000+TCO95 175000+TCO95 175000+TCO95 175000+TCO95 175000+TCO95 175000+TCO95 175000+TCO95 175000+
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by luddite View Post
Granted, but it has mad cow disease.

I wish to give @llatse@ a bull so he can always get cream for his coffee.
Granted. A bull elephant seal is on its way to his house, postage due. Genie has obtained a court order preventing @llatse@ from ever posting pictures or video of him obtaining his cream.

I wish to own the goose that lays the golden eggs.
TCO95 is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to TCO95 For This Useful Post:
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump




All times are GMT. The time now is 12:13 PM.