What Have You Learned Today ? - Page 24

**IngramJohn** · 02-09-2012, 03:57 PM

What Have I Learned Today?

Well, after just having my car 'bashed' twice in 3 weeks and the extremely nice people not informing me of this fact (basically, just fookin off) ...

I have learned that

The next bast*rd who hits my car will be feeling a very nice car jack UP HIS ARSE!!!

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!"!!!

Learn to drive OR just walk for Christ's sake!!!

Cheekymonkey · 02-15-2012, 04:48 PM

Never trust a man who when left alone in a room with a tea cosy does not try it on.

**MaxJoker** · 02-15-2012, 04:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cheekymonkey

Never trust a man who when left alone in a room with a tea cosy does not try it on.

All hail a fellow follower of the one and only true Stewart Lee

What Have You Learned Today ?

Well since you so kindly and viciously beat me into submission i`ll tell you.

It`s that i have realised we`re all part of the one true God , and that he split himself into a countless billion pieces to give birth to us , so that we may learn and grow and become spiritual cosmic Gods ourselves and create our own universes to benignity watch over forever until the end of time

Well either that or these magic mushrooms i just ate were well out of date

**donny1** · 02-15-2012, 05:00 PM

That my homemade electricity isn't very good

**MaxJoker** · 02-23-2012, 05:00 PM

Today i learned that despite what was written on the sign stuck in Dong Long Wang Genitals Jnr`s restaurant window , all you can eat for £10 means no such thing

I went up for my twentieth plateful of crispy Duck and pork fried rice but the next thing i know i`m being ejected

I know

What a bleeding , or in their language Breeeeedinnnng , insult

My great GrandJoker didn`t die building that Bridge over the river Quai for nothing you know

Fact he didn`t die at all as was too busy earning a bomb on the black market.

Ironically enough selling bombs to China

**tamsmith** · 02-28-2012, 10:43 PM

There are scumbag males and there are scumbag females and it is almost impossible to tell the difference.

**MaxJoker** · 02-29-2012, 11:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tamsmith

There are scumbag males and there are scumbag females and it is almost impossible to tell the difference.

Now i could be silly and have some fun claiming it`d be easy to , as one has a pair of balls while the other none.

Yet women of that ilk tend to carry many torn sets not their own , which i think sorta blows my idea clear out of the water.

**billybunter** · 02-29-2012, 01:28 PM

What have I learned today:

I no longer have a care in the world. If I drop dead i'll be relieved. Time to dance and throw caution to the wind. Do whatever the hell you want!

**MaxJoker** · 02-29-2012, 01:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by billybunter

What have I learned today:

I no longer have a care in the world. If I drop dead i'll be relieved. Time to dance and throw caution to the wind. Do whatever the hell you want!

Not everything surely

Not go as far as to eat one of these

**billybunter** · 02-29-2012, 02:23 PM

Chicken and mushroom pot noodle I do eat sometimes, but not since Noelle my food advisor scolded me.

02-09-2012, 03:57 PM	#231
IngramJohn Vintage Member Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Hiding behind a Tree in Robin Hood Country. Posts: 720 Thanks: 11,255 Thanked 4,666 Times in 730 Posts	What Have I Learned Today? Well, after just having my car 'bashed' twice in 3 weeks and the extremely nice people not informing me of this fact (basically, just fookin off) ... I have learned that *The next bastrd who hits my car will be feeling a very nice car jack UP HIS ARSE!!!** Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!"!!! Learn to drive OR just walk for Christ's sake!!! __________________ Welcome; Bienvenido; Velkommen; Welkom; Bienvenue; Willkommen; Benvenuti; Welcome ... to the "FOOTBALL" (Soccer) Thread http://www.vintage-erotica-forum.com...ll-thread.html *<<<< Please click!*

02-15-2012, 05:00 PM	#234
donny1 Veteran Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Clone Island Posts: 2,544 Thanks: 11,800 Thanked 20,420 Times in 2,602 Posts	That my homemade electricity isn't very good __________________ Raise A Glass & Stay Laughing

02-29-2012, 01:28 PM	#238
billybunter THE WHO FAN Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: The Teak Tough Streets Of Belfast Posts: 12,403 Thanks: 49,075 Thanked 169,437 Times in 13,844 Posts	What have I learned today: I no longer have a care in the world. If I drop dead i'll be relieved. Time to dance and throw caution to the wind. Do whatever the hell you want! __________________ I'm Dreaming From The Waist...

02-29-2012, 02:23 PM	#240
billybunter THE WHO FAN Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: The Teak Tough Streets Of Belfast Posts: 12,403 Thanks: 49,075 Thanked 169,437 Times in 13,844 Posts	Chicken and mushroom pot noodle I do eat sometimes, but not since Noelle my food advisor scolded me. __________________ I'm Dreaming From The Waist...

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02-15-2012, 04:48 PM	#232
Cheekymonkey Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Posts: 307 Thanks: 2,388 Thanked 2,048 Times in 305 Posts	Never trust a man who when left alone in a room with a tea cosy does not try it on.

02-23-2012, 05:00 PM	#235
MaxJoker I Beg To Differ Sir ..... Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19 Posts: 12,980 Thanks: 87,018 Thanked 177,004 Times in 14,061 Posts	Today i learned that despite what was written on the sign stuck in Dong Long Wang Genitals Jnr`s restaurant window , all you can eat for £10 means no such thing I went up for my twentieth plateful of crispy Duck and pork fried rice but the next thing i know i`m being ejected I know What a bleeding , or in their language Breeeeedinnnng , insult My great GrandJoker didn`t die building that Bridge over the river Quai for nothing you know Fact he didn`t die at all as was too busy earning a bomb on the black market. Ironically enough selling bombs to China

02-28-2012, 10:43 PM	#236
tamsmith Vintage Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Beerland Posts: 2,603 Thanks: 10,588 Thanked 62,740 Times in 2,716 Posts	There are scumbag males and there are scumbag females and it is almost impossible to tell the difference.