Post your corny jokes - Page 181

**grossnex** · August 5th, 2011, 02:04 PM

...I had to take out a loan from a homeless guy.

**grossnex** · August 5th, 2011, 02:28 PM

... I was denied unemployment, because I got a blowjob that day.

**tygrkhat40** · August 5th, 2011, 03:17 PM

I can't afford to pay attention.

**grossnex** · August 5th, 2011, 05:30 PM

What do you call a blonde who's doing a handstand?

A brunette with bad breath.

**seany65** · August 6th, 2011, 10:36 PM

I'll do the old classic:

"The light at the end of the tunnel has been switched off to save on electricity."

**mrfixit** · August 7th, 2011, 04:28 AM

Q : What do you call a bear with no teeth?

A : A gummy bear.

**mrfixit** · August 7th, 2011, 06:04 AM

A guy gets I LOVE YOU tattooed on his dickgoes home showes his wife and she tells him to stop putting words in my mouth.

OBE · August 7th, 2011, 07:10 AM

It's Friday late, almost closing time and St. Peter can't wait for the weekend.
When Dolly Parton and Princess Di show up at heaven's gate wanting in.
"I'm sorry ladies," St. Peter says, "But I only have time to process one of you though before closing time. So . . . why should I let you in now, and not make you wait until Monday."
Dolly thinks on it a moment, before ripping off her top.
St. Peter nods, and looks over his shoulder to god, who's nodding also.
Seeing their reaction Princess Di, stops for a moment before squatting down and douching herself.
St. Peter shutters, then turns to look at god - who has two thumbs up.
"I'm sorry Dolly," St. Peter says, "You're going to have to wait until Monday."

Later then evening at the Heavenly Bar & Grill Lounge St. Peter comes up to god, and asks, "So, how did Princess Di rate over Dolly's wonderful Pair?"
God said, "Royal flush, beats a pair every time."

hubsy · August 7th, 2011, 01:47 PM

Little Jimmy comes running into the kitchen and says to Mummy, "Mummy, Mummy, Granny's got a prawn".

"What do you mean, Granny's got a prawn?". says Mummy.

"Look, I'll show you". replies Jimmy.

So little Jimmy leads Mummy into the living room where Granny's lying stark naked, asleep on the sofa.

Jimmy points in between Granny's legs and says "Look Mummy, Granny's got a prawn".

"No Jimmy, that is Granny's clitoris".

Jimmy replies,

"Well it tastes like a prawn"

**Ernesto75** · August 7th, 2011, 05:03 PM

'Why can't you be like that?' Jenny asks her husband.

'John, that young couple that just moved in next door seem such a loving twosome' she says with a longing sigh.

'Every morning, when he leaves the house, he kisses her goodbye, and every evening when he comes home, he brings her a dozen roses' she continues.

'Now, why can't you do that?' she says with another sigh and a sorrowful look.

'Well,' John answers, 'I hardly know the girl.'

August 5th, 2011, 03:17 PM	#1803
tygrkhat40 Long Suffering Bills Fan Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: The City of Good Neighbors Posts: 9,669 Thanks: 304,243 Thanked 152,528 Times in 9,629 Posts	I can't afford to pay attention. __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

August 6th, 2011, 10:36 PM	#1805
seany65 Vintage Member Join Date: May 2009 Posts: 3,651 Thanks: 80,415 Thanked 32,730 Times in 3,527 Posts	I'll do the old classic: "The light at the end of the tunnel has been switched off to save on electricity." __________________ <-- That's Emer Kenny and I want to be stuck in her front bottom. Quote from electrofreak : I'd rather have questions that can't be answered, than answers that can't be questioned.

August 7th, 2011, 04:28 AM	#1806
mrfixit Vintage Member Join Date: May 2009 Location: Elm Street Posts: 9,401 Thanks: 165,843 Thanked 114,821 Times in 9,416 Posts	Q : What do you call a bear with no teeth? A : A gummy bear. __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Where's my Illudium PU-36 Explosive Space Modulator?

August 7th, 2011, 06:04 AM	#1807
mrfixit Vintage Member Join Date: May 2009 Location: Elm Street Posts: 9,401 Thanks: 165,843 Thanked 114,821 Times in 9,416 Posts	A guy gets I LOVE YOU tattooed on his dickgoes home showes his wife and she tells him to stop putting words in my mouth. __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Where's my Illudium PU-36 Explosive Space Modulator?

August 7th, 2011, 07:10 AM	#1808
OBE Member Join Date: Jun 2011 Posts: 30 Thanks: 17 Thanked 284 Times in 29 Posts	Getting to Heaven It's Friday late, almost closing time and St. Peter can't wait for the weekend. When Dolly Parton and Princess Di show up at heaven's gate wanting in. "I'm sorry ladies," St. Peter says, "But I only have time to process one of you though before closing time. So . . . why should I let you in now, and not make you wait until Monday." Dolly thinks on it a moment, before ripping off her top. St. Peter nods, and looks over his shoulder to god, who's nodding also. Seeing their reaction Princess Di, stops for a moment before squatting down and douching herself. St. Peter shutters, then turns to look at god - who has two thumbs up. "I'm sorry Dolly," St. Peter says, "You're going to have to wait until Monday." Later then evening at the Heavenly Bar & Grill Lounge St. Peter comes up to god, and asks, "So, how did Princess Di rate over Dolly's wonderful Pair?" God said, "Royal flush, beats a pair every time." Last edited by OBE; August 7th, 2011 at 07:34 PM..

August 5th, 2011, 02:04 PM	#1801
grossnex Veteran Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Between the swamps of Jersey & NYC Posts: 2,571 Thanks: 34,428 Thanked 91,874 Times in 2,857 Posts	...I had to take out a loan from a homeless guy.

August 5th, 2011, 02:28 PM	#1802
grossnex Veteran Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Between the swamps of Jersey & NYC Posts: 2,571 Thanks: 34,428 Thanked 91,874 Times in 2,857 Posts	... I was denied unemployment, because I got a blowjob that day.

August 5th, 2011, 05:30 PM	#1804
grossnex Veteran Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Between the swamps of Jersey & NYC Posts: 2,571 Thanks: 34,428 Thanked 91,874 Times in 2,857 Posts	What do you call a blonde who's doing a handstand? A brunette with bad breath.

August 7th, 2011, 01:47 PM	#1809
hubsy Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2010 Posts: 108 Thanks: 2,416 Thanked 1,892 Times in 107 Posts	Little Jimmy comes running into the kitchen and says to Mummy, "Mummy, Mummy, Granny's got a prawn". "What do you mean, Granny's got a prawn?". says Mummy. "Look, I'll show you". replies Jimmy. So little Jimmy leads Mummy into the living room where Granny's lying stark naked, asleep on the sofa. Jimmy points in between Granny's legs and says "Look Mummy, Granny's got a prawn". "No Jimmy, that is Granny's clitoris". Jimmy replies, "Well it tastes like a prawn"

August 7th, 2011, 05:03 PM	#1810
Ernesto75 Vintage Member Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: Planet Earth Posts: 1,106 Thanks: 12,732 Thanked 21,648 Times in 1,096 Posts	But I hardly know the girl! 'Why can't you be like that?' Jenny asks her husband. 'John, that young couple that just moved in next door seem such a loving twosome' she says with a longing sigh. 'Every morning, when he leaves the house, he kisses her goodbye, and every evening when he comes home, he brings her a dozen roses' she continues. 'Now, why can't you do that?' she says with another sigh and a sorrowful look. 'Well,' John answers, 'I hardly know the girl.'

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