Twisted sick jokes that`ll send us ALL to hell. - Page 101

MaxJoker · October 1st, 2016, 04:57 PM

Who was Poland's man of the year ?
Nobody

How do you sing the Polish national anthem ?
Trick question ,you don't sing it
You fart it

How do you know a Polack is a genuine Polack ?
By the fresh shit in his passport

**AmateurEmale** · October 1st, 2016, 06:01 PM

This post represents the only Marine jokes I know of (I've already told the "train tracks" one):

Q. Which Marines had the weirdest names?

A. There was Smedley Butler (anal vapor guy?) and Chesty Puller (almost sounds like a hermaphrodite pornstar...)

OK, now I think the Marines will kick my ass for saying it, but I have always found that they are somehow weird/creepy/arrogant/violent people. Maybe they are a cult?!

**captpike** · October 1st, 2016, 06:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AmateurEmale

This post represents the only Marine jokes I know of (I've already told the "train tracks" one):

Q. Which Marines had the weirdest names?

A. There was Smedley Butler (anal vapor guy?) and Chesty Puller (almost sounds like a hermaphrodite pornstar...)

OK, now I think the Marines will kick my ass for saying it, but I have always found that they are somehow weird/creepy/arrogant/violent people. Maybe they are a cult?!

As an Ex Marine look out for me at the next VEF reunion

**AmateurEmale** · October 1st, 2016, 07:44 PM

@CaptPike: There are no such thing as ex-Marines!

"Once A Marine, Always A Marine" [which the U.S. Army 27th Infantry borrowed with the "Once A Wolfhound, Always A Wolfhound"]

Drew Carey and a few other less well known Marines are OK, but the porn-hating Simon Leis should be the subject of criticism at VEF.

Maybe I'm biased because I have a lot of relatives who were Army or Army Air Corps in WW2.

**AmateurEmale** · October 1st, 2016, 08:35 PM

I am willing to backpedal about 2%, even though three people of Marine backgrounds bullied me 1992-2013.

Chesty Puller himself didn't totally like the nickname; this can be verified on Wikipedia and other sites if you think Wikipedia is not reputable enough.

Smedley Butler had the right ideas about foreign policy, though. He questioned why the Marines had been used for pacifying countries that were less accepting of big businesses from America. He thought that U.S. military personnel should never leave U.S. territory except on an errand of mercy, or in response to an attack on America itself. This is about what Gary Johnson and Ron Paul have been advocating in the 2010s.

Maybe it's just because the first person who tried to call himself "Smedley" in grade school was some 7th-grader who eventually made fun of me and my family; it's a negative word association, just like "Snidely" [Whiplash] is the bad guy versus Dudley Do-Right.

**Arturo2nd** · October 1st, 2016, 10:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AmateurEmale

OK, now I think the Marines will kick my ass for saying it, but I have always found that they are somehow weird/creepy/arrogant/violent people. Maybe they are a cult?!

I come from Navy people who referred to the Marines as "Jars" or "Jarheads."

But, if I were in a tough spot and my life was in danger, it is the Marines and cops I know that I would want to have with me.

Estreeter · October 2nd, 2016, 12:42 PM

2 blokes were walking down a street and see a dog on the grass, licking it's balls.

One bloke says to the other, "I wish I could do that".

The other bloke says, "Don't you think you should to pet him first

"

**SanteeFats** · October 2nd, 2016, 01:50 PM

What did God say when he made the first black man? "Damn, I burnt one."

**AmateurEmale** · October 2nd, 2016, 10:48 PM

Last USMC joke I can recall:

"The Army and Navy are run like military services. The Air Force is run like a corporation. But the United States Marine Corps is a religion!"

[because]

"On the eighth day, God created Marines!!!"

**ManofKent** · October 3rd, 2016, 01:26 PM

Q: Why does it take a woman with PMT four hours to cook a turkey?
A: I don't know, it just f**king does, okay?

(Anon).

October 1st, 2016, 04:57 PM	#1001
MaxJoker Beloved Brother Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19 Posts: 69,106 Thanks: 372,713 Thanked 987,511 Times in 69,067 Posts	Who was Poland's man of the year ? Nobody How do you sing the Polish national anthem ? Trick question ,you don't sing it You fart it How do you know a Polack is a genuine Polack ? By the fresh shit in his passport __________________ My hypocrisy only goes so To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

October 2nd, 2016, 12:42 PM	#1007
Estreeter *Administrator* Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: The 19th hole Posts: 58,106 Thanks: 449,599 Thanked 896,735 Times in 60,308 Posts	2 blokes were walking down a street and see a dog on the grass, licking it's balls. One bloke says to the other, "I wish I could do that". The other bloke says, "Don't you think you should to pet him first " __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

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October 1st, 2016, 06:01 PM	#1002
AmateurEmale Vintage Member Join Date: Apr 2012 Location: The 513 Posts: 1,825 Thanks: 16,644 Thanked 15,794 Times in 1,755 Posts	This post represents the only Marine jokes I know of (I've already told the "train tracks" one): Q. Which Marines had the weirdest names? A. There was Smedley Butler (anal vapor guy?) and Chesty Puller (almost sounds like a hermaphrodite pornstar...) OK, now I think the Marines will kick my ass for saying it, but I have always found that they are somehow weird/creepy/arrogant/violent people. Maybe they are a cult?!

October 1st, 2016, 07:44 PM	#1004
AmateurEmale Vintage Member Join Date: Apr 2012 Location: The 513 Posts: 1,825 Thanks: 16,644 Thanked 15,794 Times in 1,755 Posts	@CaptPike: There are no such thing as ex-Marines! "Once A Marine, Always A Marine" [which the U.S. Army 27th Infantry borrowed with the "Once A Wolfhound, Always A Wolfhound"] Drew Carey and a few other less well known Marines are OK, but the porn-hating Simon Leis should be the subject of criticism at VEF. Maybe I'm biased because I have a lot of relatives who were Army or Army Air Corps in WW2.

October 1st, 2016, 08:35 PM	#1005
AmateurEmale Vintage Member Join Date: Apr 2012 Location: The 513 Posts: 1,825 Thanks: 16,644 Thanked 15,794 Times in 1,755 Posts	I am willing to backpedal about 2%, even though three people of Marine backgrounds bullied me 1992-2013. Chesty Puller himself didn't totally like the nickname; this can be verified on Wikipedia and other sites if you think Wikipedia is not reputable enough. Smedley Butler had the right ideas about foreign policy, though. He questioned why the Marines had been used for pacifying countries that were less accepting of big businesses from America. He thought that U.S. military personnel should never leave U.S. territory except on an errand of mercy, or in response to an attack on America itself. This is about what Gary Johnson and Ron Paul have been advocating in the 2010s. Maybe it's just because the first person who tried to call himself "Smedley" in grade school was some 7th-grader who eventually made fun of me and my family; it's a negative word association, just like "Snidely" [Whiplash] is the bad guy versus Dudley Do-Right.

October 2nd, 2016, 01:50 PM	#1008
SanteeFats Super Moderator Join Date: Jul 2013 Location: Santee, Ca Posts: 60,811 Thanks: 281,799 Thanked 813,737 Times in 60,857 Posts	What did God say when he made the first black man? "Damn, I burnt one."

October 2nd, 2016, 10:48 PM	#1009
AmateurEmale Vintage Member Join Date: Apr 2012 Location: The 513 Posts: 1,825 Thanks: 16,644 Thanked 15,794 Times in 1,755 Posts	Last USMC joke I can recall: "The Army and Navy are run like military services. The Air Force is run like a corporation. But the United States Marine Corps is a religion!" [because] "On the eighth day, God created *Marines*!!!"

October 3rd, 2016, 01:26 PM	#1010
ManofKent Vintage Member Join Date: May 2013 Location: U.K Posts: 1,130 Thanks: 10,125 Thanked 13,832 Times in 1,113 Posts	Q: Why does it take a woman with PMT four hours to cook a turkey? A: I don't know, it just f*king does, okay? (Anon*).