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May 23rd, 2014, 08:29 AM | #11 |
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Up in Smoke.... Cheech and Chong
[Chong]
Up in smoke That's where my money goes In my lungs And sometimes up my nose When troubled times Begin to bother me I take a toke And all my cares Go up in smoke [Cheech] Up in smoke Donde todos es mi rey There are no signs Que dice no fumer So I roll un "bomber" Y me doy, un buen toke-ay Y despues I choke Y todos mis cares Go up in smoke Come on let's go get high [Cast] Up in smoke That's where I wanna be 'Cause when I'm high The world below Don't bother me When life begins To be one long And dangerous road I take a toke And all my cares Go up in smok |
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May 23rd, 2014, 08:30 AM | #12 |
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I'm Gonna Roll Ya... Cold Chisel
"I'm Gonna Roll Ya"
No copulation, no revolution Said the young Marquis de Sade But all the whips in France ain't gonna get me Fuckin' on a barracade From the schoolboys on it was one big con As we hung around the hockey teams In each boys brain the dream was the same All I ever went to do is get laid Now the whole wide world has a better idea And it shook us all to the core You follow some two-year fairy tale Into happy evermore The sleepy priest at the bridal feast His hands make a holy sign And as the bride hoes into the wedding cake She's a-singin' in the back of her mind Come on, come on I'm gonna roll ya all night long... Well I took that crap for a little while And it kept me off the street Then I met me a lady with a shady past And manners like a dog on heat Those musos hummin' when they see her comin' Make a noise like a hurricane When you see that line at the dressing-room door You know she's just spread 'em for the boys again Well there ain't nothin' better than to rip your sweater In a bang behind the stage Or the drawn out sigh as you feel her thigh Then you stop and estimate her age If she's turned fourteen she's a rock'n'roll queen You can give her anything you choose And when she whispers Honey it's the money or the box You know money's so easy to lose Come on, come on I'm gonna roll ya all night long... |
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May 27th, 2014, 10:30 AM | #13 |
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WEIRD AL YANKOVIC
"Amish Paradise" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lOfZLb33uCg As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain But that's just perfect for an Amish like me You know, I shun fancy things like electricity At 4:30 in the morning I'm milkin' cows Jebediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows... fool And I've been milkin' and plowin' so long that Even Ezekiel thinks that my mind is gone I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin But if I finish all of my chores and you finish thine Then tonight we're gonna party like it's 1699 We been spending most our lives Living in an Amish paradise I've churned butter once or twice Living in an Amish paradise It's hard work and sacrifice Living in an Amish paradise We sell quilts at discount price Living in an Amish paradise A local boy kicked me in the butt last week I just smiled at him and turned the other cheek I really don't care, in fact I wish him well 'Cause I'll be laughing my head off when he's burning in hell But I ain't never punched a tourist even if he deserved it An Amish with a 'tude? You know that's unheard of I never wear buttons but I got a cool hat And my homies agree, I really look good in black...fool If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears We haven't even paid the phone bill in 300 years But we ain't really quaint, so please don't point and stare We're just technologically impaired There's no phone, no lights, no motorcar Not a single luxury Like Robinson Crusoe It's as primitive as can be We been spending most our lives Living in an Amish paradise We're just plain and simple guys Living in an Amish paradise There's no time for sin and vice Living in an Amish paradise We don't fight, we all play nice Living in an Amish paradise Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter Raised a barn on Monday, soon I'll raise another Think you're really righteous? Think you're pure in heart? Well, I know I'm a million times as humble as thou art I'm the pious guy the little Amlettes wanna be like On my knees day and night scorin' points for the afterlife So don't be vain and don't be whiny Or else, my brother, I might have to get medieval on your heinie We been spending most our lives Living in an Amish paradise We're all crazy Mennonites Living in an Amish paradise There's no cops or traffic lights Living in an Amish paradise But you'd probably think it bites Living in an Amish paradise |
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March 28th, 2016, 06:04 PM | #14 |
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Manly Men
Reviving this old thread only because it's the most appropriate place to post this funny, sarcastic ballad to Manly Men.
I first heard the author, Greg Keeler, sing this at a campfire. Many of us had already been drinking for hours, and laughed so hard we were in danger of falling into the fire. Several of us learned the song and sang it at many campfires thereafter. I recommend listening to the youtube version, sung by the song writer, before you read the lyrics. You might even wait until you've had a few beers to really appreciate the humor. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_tivywhNvv4 The Manly Men Song by Greg Keeler We're men among men And manly men Yes manly men are we We're men among manly Men among manly Manly men are we We'll sail up north And cross the ice And cross the barren snowfields You gotta be tough And you gotta be a man To club the baby harp seals To club the baby harp seals We're men among men And manly men Yes manly men are we We're men among manly Men among manly Manly men are we We'll drive out west On a buffalo hunt In a venture bold and daring We'll shoot one again And again and again While the others stand there staring While the others stand there staring We're men among men And manly men Yes manly men are we We're men among manly Men among manly Manly men are we When we shoot him down He'll get back up So we'll shoot him down again But he'll get back up So we'll shoot him down 'Cause we are manly men Yes we are manly men And a man's gotta do What a man's gotta do When a man is a man among men Yes a man among men's gotta do What a man's gotta do As a man among men We'll hunt the black rhinoceros down On the plains so dry and hot We'll blow him over And take his horn And leave the rest to rot Yes leave the rest to rot And a man's gotta do What a man's gotta do When a man is a man among men Yes a man among men's gotta do What a man's gotta do As a man among men We'll take that horn And sell it to Our Taiwanese connections They'll grind it up into medicine So men can get erections So men can get erections And a man's gotta do What a man's gotta do When a man is a man among men Yes a man among men's gotta do What a man's gotta do As a man among men We're men among men And manly men Yes manly men are we We're men among manly Men among manly Manly men are we C'mon men, lets' kill it! What are we? Women?
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August 20th, 2016, 10:05 PM | #15 |
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A funniest first line
"Pretty women out walking with gorillas down my street ..."
Hilarious first line of Is She Really Going Out With Him? by Joe Jackson. e.d. |
November 23rd, 2016, 10:44 PM | #16 |
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"Life's like a jigsaw - you get the straight bits - but there's something missing in the middle"
From "All of a Sudden" by XTC "Will you smile like any mother as you bathe your brand new twins. Will you sing about the missiles as you dry odd numbered limbs" From "This World Over" by XTC In fact virtually any lyric from any XTC song. |
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November 24th, 2016, 09:26 AM | #17 |
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The Smiths
'' Hand in glove. The sun shines out of our behinds. '' " My eyes have seen the glory of the sacred wonderkind you took me behind a disused railway line and said I know a place where we can go where we are not known" and you gave me something that I won't forget too soon ''
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November 24th, 2016, 09:00 PM | #18 |
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Pulp - Pencil Skirt
When you raise your pencil skirt Like a veil before my eyes Like the look upon his face as he's zipping up his flies Oh, well, I know that you're engaged to him Oh, but I know that you want something to play with baby I'll be around when he's not in town Oh, yeah, I'll show you how you're doing it wrong Oh, I really love it when you tell me to stop, oh-oh Oh, it's turning me on
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