Make Your Will , So When You Die You Die Chilled !

MaxJoker · October 24th, 2011, 05:03 PM

Now as you`re all aware i first passed the bar at aged seventeen .

But then the landlord used to leave the till open sometimes and i have a long reach.

Point is i once walked past a library and looked in the windows as i went along , and there were a shit load of legal books inside , also i`ve seen several episodes of Judge Judy so technically i know the law more throughly than anyone else currently typing these words

Meaning if you have any legal issues i`m your member.

Mind if there`s any other members here who have evidence
(As supposedly that`s necessary for a conviction of something ?) of legal training they`re more than welcome to join the firm of V.E.F

Plus although all aspects of the law can be handled here , the title mentions will`s as that`s what i specialise in approving.

Especially when i`m the beneficiary

Fact i remember the last thing my dear old dad said as he showed the will leaving me everything.

What was it now , ah yes " Arrrgh no no noooooo, why ?, why ? .oh right i get it, thanks for pausing, arrrrrrrgh "

So anyone want to post up a will for my approval ?

Or is there anybody you want to sue ?

Also there`s a twenty percent discount if it`s a girl actually named Sue.

As it gives me a chance to crack the judge up , and like my non existent old law professor Mr WhineSteinBurg never used to say " A laughing Judge is a lenient Judge "

MaxJoker · October 24th, 2011, 05:41 PM

What still no wills ?

It`s been minutes now

Suppose it`s because writing them reminds you about crossing the void from life into nothingness.

Which is daft.

As it`s not compulsory to retire to Bournemouth you know

Anyway i`m a legal expert so just write those will`s and forget about death.

Better still put me on retainer and i`ll get you off dying via a mistrial .

Or your money back .

Now that`s a promise.

Sure , not one i`ll be keeping.

But it`s a promise just the same .

Look it`s up to you , either you give me some cases or it`ll be.

**billybunter** · October 24th, 2011, 08:23 PM

I leave all my worldly possessions to me.

**-Edge-** · October 24th, 2011, 10:15 PM

I'm taking everything I own with me.

Since I'm married, I actually "own" nothing.

Tell me, Mr. GreenSkull, Esquire, Can I bequeath her possesions to ramdom strangers when I die??

One last practical joke. For old times sake?

**Office Boy** · October 24th, 2011, 10:31 PM

When I was divorced over ten years ago, my solicitor said I should make a will if possible.

So a few months later I did that and it still stands (hopefully) in their archives.

(They're still trading, but then again, they are solicitors) The only thing I left out is my own encyclopedia (and I did not use a dictionary to spell that) of video/dvd'/pictures/info/magazines/calendars/posters/books and what's currently on my hard drive. And anything else I might have missed, all to do with the female form and/or celebrities.

And so I need someone to leave it too-eventually, And GS'S credentials

will make him well qualified to become a beneficiary of all this.

So I've looked at the family tree;

And come up with nothing. By the way, you'll need at least a long wheelbase van.

**exfarmer** · October 24th, 2011, 10:31 PM

I want to leave everything i have to the members of this forum. I haven't got a bloody thing but it's all yours guys.

**botogames** · October 25th, 2011, 02:49 AM

I have not created a will, does that make me bad??

MaxJoker · October 25th, 2011, 05:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by -Edge-

I'm taking everything I own with me.

Since I'm married, I actually "own" nothing.

Tell me, Mr. GreenSkull, Esquire, Can I bequeath her possesions to ramdom strangers when I die??

One last practical joke. For old times sake?

I`ll just check my colouring books , i mean Law journals

Yes under sub section 692 clause FU it seems you can indeed bequeath your missus possessions to random strangers.

Providing you can forge her signature.

Mind you since most women use an X , that`s easy enough to do

Although let`s have no talk of actual death .

Since all here are V.E.F members and so immortal under the eyes of jurisprudence.

MaxJoker · October 25th, 2011, 05:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by botogames

I have not created a will, does that make me bad??

No simply lazy and selfish.

My boy have you ever considered a career in the Law ? .

You`d be a natural

Estreeter · October 27th, 2011, 01:45 PM

Does anybody want my collection of banned VEF members ?

October 24th, 2011, 05:03 PM	#1
MaxJoker Beloved Brother Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19 Posts: 69,106 Thanks: 372,713 Thanked 987,560 Times in 69,067 Posts	Make Your Will , So When You Die You Die Chilled ! Now as you`re all aware i first passed the bar at aged seventeen . But then the landlord used to leave the till open sometimes and i have a long reach. Point is i once walked past a library and looked in the windows as i went along , and there were a shit load of legal books inside , also i`ve seen several episodes of Judge Judy so technically i know the law more throughly than anyone else currently typing these words Meaning if you have any legal issues i`m your member. Mind if there`s any other members here who have evidence (As supposedly that`s necessary for a conviction of something ?) of legal training they`re more than welcome to join the firm of V.E.F Plus although all aspects of the law can be handled here , the title mentions will`s as that`s what i specialise in approving. Especially when i`m the beneficiary Fact i remember the last thing my dear old dad said as he showed the will leaving me everything. What was it now , ah yes " Arrrgh no no noooooo, why ?, why ? .oh right i get it, thanks for pausing, arrrrrrrgh " So anyone want to post up a will for my approval ? Or is there anybody you want to sue ? Also there`s a twenty percent discount if it`s a girl actually named Sue. As it gives me a chance to crack the judge up , and like my non existent old law professor Mr WhineSteinBurg never used to say " A laughing Judge is a lenient Judge " __________________ My hypocrisy only goes so To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

October 24th, 2011, 05:41 PM	#2
MaxJoker Beloved Brother Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19 Posts: 69,106 Thanks: 372,713 Thanked 987,560 Times in 69,067 Posts	What still no wills ? It`s been minutes now Suppose it`s because writing them reminds you about crossing the void from life into nothingness. Which is daft. As it`s not compulsory to retire to Bournemouth you know Anyway i`m a legal expert so just write those will`s and forget about death. Better still put me on retainer and i`ll get you off dying via a mistrial . Or your money back . Now that`s a promise. Sure , not one i`ll be keeping. But it`s a promise just the same . Look it`s up to you , either you give me some cases or it`ll be. __________________ My hypocrisy only goes so To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

October 24th, 2011, 08:23 PM	#3
billybunter R.I.P. Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Gone But Not Forgotten Posts: 14,404 Thanks: 51,687 Thanked 252,372 Times in 14,171 Posts	I leave all my worldly possessions to me. __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

October 24th, 2011, 10:31 PM	#5
Office Boy Former Staff Join Date: May 2008 Location: in the office upstairs Posts: 1,415 Thanks: 6,048 Thanked 40,263 Times in 1,357 Posts	When I was divorced over ten years ago, my solicitor said I should make a will if possible. So a few months later I did that and it still stands (hopefully) in their archives. (They're still trading, but then again, they are solicitors) The only thing I left out is my own encyclopedia (and I did not use a dictionary to spell that) of video/dvd'/pictures/info/magazines/calendars/posters/books and what's currently on my hard drive. And anything else I might have missed, all to do with the female form and/or celebrities. And so I need someone to leave it too-eventually, And GS'S credentials will make him well qualified to become a beneficiary of all this. So I've looked at the family tree; And come up with nothing. By the way, you'll need at least a long wheelbase van. __________________ DON'T TREAD ON ME.

October 24th, 2011, 10:31 PM	#6
exfarmer avvie pic by Estreeter Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Essex, England Posts: 13,737 Thanks: 109,422 Thanked 182,656 Times in 13,045 Posts	I want to leave everything i have to the members of this forum. I haven't got a bloody thing but it's all yours guys. __________________ I no longer have time to upload videos, sorry.

October 24th, 2011, 10:15 PM	#4
-Edge- Semper Fi Join Date: Sep 2010 Posts: 4,036 Thanks: 69,498 Thanked 177,306 Times in 4,384 Posts	I'm taking everything I own with me. Since I'm married, I actually "own" nothing. Tell me, Mr. GreenSkull, Esquire, Can I bequeath *her* possesions to ramdom strangers when I die?? One last practical joke. For old times sake?

October 25th, 2011, 02:49 AM	#7
botogames Everything in Moderation Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: On VACA - Aloha! Posts: 2,923 Thanks: 143,500 Thanked 42,714 Times in 2,706 Posts	I have not created a will, does that make me bad?? __________________ "Enjoy your day off, laborers, and have some chili – you’ve earned it!" -- Lt. Frank Columbo Did you know... VEF membership has it's privileges... read the… To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. …to learn more about them!! And remember to have fun on VEF!! To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. I guess it’s just another day...! Max & Jenny I’ll miss you.

October 27th, 2011, 01:45 PM	#10
Estreeter *Administrator* Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: The 19th hole Posts: 58,120 Thanks: 449,724 Thanked 896,791 Times in 60,321 Posts	Does anybody want my collection of banned VEF members ? __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

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