Quotations, Fav Movie Lines, and so on and so forth etc

[emexem]

This from Clement Freud's autobiograpy.

When his family moved from Vienna to London, his Mother who was part of the cafe society, wished to carry on the tradition of holding weekly salons to entertain the intelligentsia she had enjoyed so much back in her homeland.

At the end of one session she announced in her grand dame tones that she would ring for a cab to take her guests home. Before the days of mobiles or call centres this was done by phoning a small booth situated in a busy London street, where the cabbies parked and answered any incoming calls and arranged the job.

This call was answered by a passing wag with a sense of humour. His Mother, who had a less than perfect grasp of English, then imperiously announced to her exalted guests

" The driver will be with us very shortly, he is just having a wank first".

[emexem]

A few definitions from viz comics excellent profanisaurus column, defining all things sweary and obscene.

Rubberdance Not to be confused with any Michael Flatley stage productions. The gyrations of the seriously uncoordinated to unwisely boogie to any 70's disco song at weddings, etc. Fuelled by a feeling of wellbeing resulting from an excess of strong drink.Guaranteed to make you look a right tit, it also has the effect of spreading a feeling of ill ease amongst the other dancers

Sub Prime wine Sometimes referred to as credit crunch punch, this is the imbibing of mega sized bottles of own brand supermarket cider and the likes, forced on you because of the prevailing difficult economic conditions.

[IronHerder]

This is from Jane Austen's Pride & Prejudice, published in 1813:

"We all love to instruct, though we can teach only what is not worth knowing."

This sounds profound, I'm just not sure that it's true. Were it up to me, I'd phrase it this way:

"We all love to instruct, though our pupils will learn only what is not worth knowing."

Please note that I only claimed mine to be different.

[mizlaplan]

"I am the greatest. I said that even before I knew I was. I figured that if I said it enough, I would convince the world that I was really the greatest."

[Varagorn]

In 1972 David Frost asked Muhammad Ali...

What would you like people to think about you when you're gone?

Muhammad Ali responded...

He took a few cups of love.
He took one tablespoon of patience.
One teaspoon of generosity.
One pint of kindness.
He took one quart of laughter.
One pinch of concern.
And then he mixed willingness with happiness.
He added lots of faith.
And he stirred it up well.
Then he spread it over a span of a lifetime.
And he served it to each and every deserving person he met.



Muhammad Ali: The Greatest

[IronHerder]

My favourite M*A*S*H quote:

Margaret Houlihan (Loretta Swit) barges into a tent, where Colonel Potter (Harry Morgan) is showering behind a neck-high curtain.

"Colonel Potter, I want to see you!"
"One step closer, and you'll get the whole picture."

S04E23, Deluge.

[Mal Hombre]

"When I walk across my living room from my chimney to my window, it takes me 10 seconds, but for a bird it takes one second, and for oxygen zero seconds!"

“I am fascinated by air. If you remove the air from the sky, all the birds would fall to the ground. And all the planes, too.”

"Air is beautiful, yet you cannot see it. It's soft, yet you cannot touch it. Air is a little like my brain.”

"A cookie has no soul, it's just a cookie. But before it was milk and eggs. And in eggs there's the potential for life."

"I now truly believe it is impossible for me to make a bad movie."

"My wife is not my best sexual partner but She's good with the housework"

[IronHerder]

These are a few of my favourite quotes

These are some quotes by authors unknown to me. If you know who should get credit, please send me a message so that a small fraction of my fathomless ignorance will be cured. On the other side of the coin, I have no reluctance to 'improve' anonymous quotes and make them mine. Sort of.

Hanging’s too good for punsters, they should be drawn and quoted

Happiness essentials are things to do, to love and to hope for

Happiness is something that you decide on, not something that happens to you

Happiness is the sensation you get when you are too busy to be miserable

Happiness will not dock when you harbor bitterness

Health insurance is like a hospital gown, you only think that you’re covered

Help Wanted: Telepath – If you know where to apply, you’re hired

He’s not dead, he’s electroencephalographically-challenged

He who angers you controls you

He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless dead

[mizlaplan]

The Italian Job:
"You're only supposed to blow the bloody doors off!"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8g_GeQR8fJo

[mizlaplan]

Apparently Captain Britain is going to get a TV series
I was a bit worried until I read this quote:
"Like many British people, the Captain has a prodigious appetite for alcohol"
Aww.....bless
Good on yer mate
A proper Superhero Brit...