Post your corny jokes - Page 1335

**mrfixit** · May 3rd, 2018, 03:25 AM

“Pastor, my dog is dead. Could there be a service for the poor creature?”
Pastor replied,
“No, we cannot have service for an animal in the church. But there is a new church down the road. Maybe they will do something for the animal”.
The man answered”
“Pastor, but do you think they will accept a donation of $250,000 in return for the burial service?”
Pastor exclaimed,
“Sweet Jesus! Why didn’t u tell me that dog was a Christian.”

**photoflex** · May 3rd, 2018, 08:21 PM

**mrfixit** · May 3rd, 2018, 08:39 PM

An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings that were currently on display.
“I’ve got good news and bad news,” replied the gallery owner. “The good news is that a gentleman inquired about your work and wondered whether it would appreciate in value after your death. When I told him it would, he bought all fifteen of your paintings.”
“That’s great!” exclaimed the artist. “So what’s the bad news?”
“The man was your doctor.”

**gedly** · May 3rd, 2018, 11:05 PM

I'm really enjoying my job at the tampon factory. I'm really getting absorbed in my work.

**effCup** · May 4th, 2018, 12:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gedly

absorbed in my work.

Heard it can be one bloody mess after another.

~~}[eywood~~ · May 4th, 2018, 03:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gedly

I'm really enjoying my job at the tampon factory. I'm really getting absorbed in my work.

Sounds like a plug

**gedly** · May 4th, 2018, 03:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by }[eywood

Sounds like a plug

My boss seems really impressed with the way I'm soaking it all in.

**gmcbee** · May 4th, 2018, 03:50 PM

Don't string us along.

**Staffsyeoman** · May 4th, 2018, 03:55 PM

Hear about the jive dude who found a brass lamp in the street? Rubbed it, a genie appeared and offered him three wishes. "Yo, my man - I wanna be white, up tight and outta sight!" So he turned him into a Tampax...

**DoctorWho** · May 4th, 2018, 04:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gedly

My boss seems really impressed with the way I'm soaking it all in.

Makes you just swell up with pride, eh?

Be careful you don't let your EGO get over-inflated..

-

May 3rd, 2018, 03:25 AM	#13341
mrfixit Vintage Member Join Date: May 2009 Location: Elm Street Posts: 9,401 Thanks: 165,843 Thanked 114,821 Times in 9,416 Posts	“Pastor, my dog is dead. Could there be a service for the poor creature?” Pastor replied, “No, we cannot have service for an animal in the church. But there is a new church down the road. Maybe they will do something for the animal”. The man answered” “Pastor, but do you think they will accept a donation of $250,000 in return for the burial service?” Pastor exclaimed, “Sweet Jesus! Why didn’t u tell me that dog was a Christian.” __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Where's my Illudium PU-36 Explosive Space Modulator?

May 3rd, 2018, 08:21 PM	#13342
photoflex Veteran Member Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Location: Location Posts: 3,583 Thanks: 37,922 Thanked 127,776 Times in 3,570 Posts	__________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. I love your thanks, but please thank the original posters first.

May 3rd, 2018, 08:39 PM	#13343
mrfixit Vintage Member Join Date: May 2009 Location: Elm Street Posts: 9,401 Thanks: 165,843 Thanked 114,821 Times in 9,416 Posts	An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings that were currently on display. “I’ve got good news and bad news,” replied the gallery owner. “The good news is that a gentleman inquired about your work and wondered whether it would appreciate in value after your death. When I told him it would, he bought all fifteen of your paintings.” “That’s great!” exclaimed the artist. “So what’s the bad news?” “The man was your doctor.” __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Where's my Illudium PU-36 Explosive Space Modulator?

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May 3rd, 2018, 11:05 PM	#13344
gedly Veteran Member Join Date: May 2007 Posts: 3,234 Thanks: 19,882 Thanked 69,310 Times in 3,171 Posts	I'm really enjoying my job at the tampon factory. I'm really getting absorbed in my work.

May 4th, 2018, 03:50 PM	#13348
gmcbee Vintage Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Clinging to the rim of a crater on the dark side of Uranus. Posts: 1,065 Thanks: 3,961 Thanked 11,051 Times in 1,042 Posts	Don't string us along.

May 4th, 2018, 03:55 PM	#13349
Staffsyeoman Vintage Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 2,268 Thanks: 34,177 Thanked 26,750 Times in 2,159 Posts	Hear about the jive dude who found a brass lamp in the street? Rubbed it, a genie appeared and offered him three wishes. "Yo, my man - I wanna be white, up tight and outta sight!" So he turned him into a Tampax...