Signed God, The Sequel - Page 3

**NIN** · October 5th, 2012, 09:42 PM

...and on the next day, I rested.

I think I will call it the Seventh Day

look at me, a proper workaholic It's my day off and I'm still inventing numbers
God, you're a legend in your own lunchtime if I do say so myself

**Mal Hombre** · October 6th, 2012, 07:42 AM

Where am I ? How did I get here ? I guess I do move in mysterious ways ...
Signed
God

**vo1v0d** · October 9th, 2012, 06:49 AM

Memo to self :-
after expanding heaven the old place looks a bit empty.Must remember to tell the archangels to gather up all those who believe in me. and leave behind all those who squawk about me for an hour on sunday morning and act like complete arseholes the rest of the week.............and no 'Born Again'.....they must think I was born yesterday...and no americans; they will just try to turn it into a military base

and no creationists: all those silly bastards want is a printout of my work schedule

**taffy2** · October 9th, 2012, 08:24 AM

You know when you walk in a room and forget what you went in there for?

That's me playing SIMS, I just cancelled your action

**vo1v0d** · October 10th, 2012, 06:50 AM

-They are exploring deeper and deeper in the ocean; after the dumbo eared octopus and walking fish I am running out of dopey ideas for things for them to find. And as for Mars, I have no ideas...........but then again I always liked the Clangers................and I really loved those things in the ad for Cadburys Smash

**NIN** · October 10th, 2012, 03:27 PM

Dear Snatch, Leggitt & Runn

As you are the solicitors representing the meek, i suggest you re-check the terms & conditions of the contract, in which you'll find that i set no deadline as to when your clients' will inherit the earth. Until such notice is given, it remains in my possession and i suggest you withdraw your claim.

Further to which, i was never mis-sold a PPI on any of my credit cards or loans so please do not text my phone number again.

Yours sincerely,
Big G.

**vo1v0d** · October 10th, 2012, 05:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NIN

Dear Snatch, Leggitt & Runn

As you are the solicitors representing the meek, i suggest you re-check the terms & conditions of the contract, in which you'll find that i set no deadline as to when your clients' will inherit the earth. Until such notice is given, it remains in my possession and i suggest you withdraw your claim.

Further to which, i was never mis-sold a PPI on any of my credit cards or loans so please do not text my phone number again.

Yours sincerely,
Big G.

Amendnent and codicil:-
Upon further investigation it is found that your client was correct and each of them will be in receipt of six feet of earth and sooner than expected.

**vo1v0d** · October 11th, 2012, 07:36 AM

Put out a notice that all debts will be cancelled; and make sure the small print is too miniscule to read that all debtors will also be cancelled.

**vo1v0d** · October 11th, 2012, 03:16 PM

First thing tomorrow I want all the staff of quality control in my office. I have just seen Lady GaGa and want to know how that got down there.....and did somebody forget to put a "Best By" date on Madonna?

**MemoryHunter** · October 11th, 2012, 04:44 PM

Will you people never give me any peace? Enough with the hymns and prayers already. It's a bit late to be kissing my arse.

You Bible bashing types may have noticed that early on I was quite talkative. You know; Genesis, Garden of Eden, and I spent quite a while chatting with Moses.

Then you nail my boy to a couple of railway sleepers and wonder why I'm not talking to you lot anymore.

He might of forgiven you - I didn't.

I've learned from my mistakes (after all, you humans were just a trial run) and started a new planet, so stuff you lot, you're on your own.

Speaking of which, my new race have come on nicely. They're intelligent, obedient and follow my rules. So I gave them the knowledge to permit them interstellar travel. They'll be with you a few days before Christmas 2012. - Not that it's my boy's birthday. - That's just a Winter festival hijacked from the Pagan calender by the Catholics. They're a hungry bunch, and just love to eat. I believe they are particularly fond of lean vocal cords and muscular digits. Gobshites and columnists beware.

You humans had your chance. I gave your ancestors the rules, you ignored them...

I mean, for MY sake, you can't even agree on how to best worship or appease me, what with all these different religions.

Well, I no longer give a shit, but I feel it only fair (I'm good like that) to point out this to anyone expecting 72 virgins upon arrival in the afterlife. Think before you act, - did anyone say they would be female virgins?

October 5th, 2012, 09:42 PM	#21
NIN Banned Join Date: Dec 2009 Posts: 8,823 Thanks: 200,569 Thanked 131,967 Times in 9,045 Posts	...and on the next day, I rested. I think I will call it the Seventh Day look at me, a proper workaholic It's my day off and I'm still inventing numbers God, you're a legend in your own lunchtime if I do say so myself

October 6th, 2012, 07:42 AM	#22
Mal Hombre El Super Moderador Join Date: May 2009 Location: Adoptive Monkey Hanger Posts: 58,198 Thanks: 773,362 Thanked 856,535 Times in 57,629 Posts	Where am I ? How did I get here ? I guess I do move in mysterious ways ... Signed God __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. If in doubt, Just ask Yourself What Would Max Do ? It is a porn site,But its a Classy porn site. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

October 9th, 2012, 06:49 AM	#23
vo1v0d Hideous By Nature Join Date: Aug 2012 Location: sarf eeeest lunden Posts: 8,352 Thanks: 42,722 Thanked 61,495 Times in 7,568 Posts	Memo to self :- after expanding heaven the old place looks a bit empty.Must remember to tell the archangels to gather up all those who believe in me. and leave behind all those who squawk about me for an hour on sunday morning and act like complete arseholes the rest of the week.............and no 'Born Again'.....they must think I was born yesterday...and no americans; they will just try to turn it into a military base and no creationists: all those silly bastards want is a printout of my work schedule Last edited by vo1v0d; October 9th, 2012 at 10:58 AM.. Reason: speling

October 9th, 2012, 08:24 AM	#24
taffy2 Vintage Member Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: Wales Posts: 1,656 Thanks: 15,153 Thanked 29,870 Times in 1,686 Posts	You know when you walk in a room and forget what you went in there for? That's me playing SIMS, I just cancelled your action __________________ Life is about kicking ass, not kissing it To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

October 11th, 2012, 04:44 PM	#30
MemoryHunter Vintage Member Join Date: Apr 2012 Location: Sleepy Old Sussex, England Posts: 1,157 Thanks: 20,218 Thanked 18,261 Times in 1,144 Posts	Will you people never give me any peace? Enough with the hymns and prayers already. It's a bit late to be kissing my arse. You Bible bashing types may have noticed that early on I was quite talkative. You know; Genesis, Garden of Eden, and I spent quite a while chatting with Moses. Then you nail my boy to a couple of railway sleepers and wonder why I'm not talking to you lot anymore. He might of forgiven you - I didn't. I've learned from my mistakes (after all, you humans were just a trial run) and started a new planet, so stuff you lot, you're on your own. Speaking of which, my new race have come on nicely. They're intelligent, obedient and follow my rules. So I gave them the knowledge to permit them interstellar travel. They'll be with you a few days before Christmas 2012. - Not that it's my boy's birthday. - That's just a Winter festival hijacked from the Pagan calender by the Catholics. They're a hungry bunch, and just love to eat. I believe they are particularly fond of lean vocal cords and muscular digits. Gobshites and columnists beware. You humans had your chance. I gave your ancestors the rules, you ignored them... I mean, for MY sake, you can't even agree on how to best worship or appease me, what with all these different religions. Well, I no longer give a shit, but I feel it only fair (I'm good like that) to point out this to anyone expecting 72 virgins upon arrival in the afterlife. Think before you act, - did anyone say they would be *female* virgins? __________________ If you can ID a Model in one of my posts, let me know, I'll update it, and credit you too. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Looking for a favourite, but you don't know her name? There's a To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. , that may help. It's for known models only, don't post requests, or you will be 'Mod-ified.'

October 10th, 2012, 06:50 AM	#25
vo1v0d Hideous By Nature Join Date: Aug 2012 Location: sarf eeeest lunden Posts: 8,352 Thanks: 42,722 Thanked 61,495 Times in 7,568 Posts	-They are exploring deeper and deeper in the ocean; after the dumbo eared octopus and walking fish I am running out of dopey ideas for things for them to find. And as for Mars, I have no ideas...........but then again I always liked the Clangers................and I really loved those things in the ad for Cadburys Smash

October 10th, 2012, 03:27 PM	#26
NIN Banned Join Date: Dec 2009 Posts: 8,823 Thanks: 200,569 Thanked 131,967 Times in 9,045 Posts	Dear Snatch, Leggitt & Runn As you are the solicitors representing the meek, i suggest you re-check the terms & conditions of the contract, in which you'll find that i set no deadline as to when your clients' will inherit the earth. Until such notice is given, it remains in my possession and i suggest you withdraw your claim. Further to which, i was never mis-sold a PPI on any of my credit cards or loans so please do not text my phone number again. Yours sincerely, Big G.

October 11th, 2012, 07:36 AM	#28
vo1v0d Hideous By Nature Join Date: Aug 2012 Location: sarf eeeest lunden Posts: 8,352 Thanks: 42,722 Thanked 61,495 Times in 7,568 Posts	Put out a notice that all debts will be cancelled; and make sure the small print is too miniscule to read that all debtors will also be cancelled.

October 11th, 2012, 03:16 PM	#29
vo1v0d Hideous By Nature Join Date: Aug 2012 Location: sarf eeeest lunden Posts: 8,352 Thanks: 42,722 Thanked 61,495 Times in 7,568 Posts	First thing tomorrow I want all the staff of quality control in my office. I have just seen Lady GaGa and want to know how that got down there.....and did somebody forget to put a "Best By" date on Madonna?