Did the postman have a big bundle for you on valentines day? - Page 2

**muggly** · February 17th, 2019, 10:31 AM

I stopped getting Valentines cards many years ago and don't send any now either. My wife would say I was being sycophantic if I sent her one. However in the past a couple of cards got me into a potential bother. In the eighties a female client of mine was at a point of causing me some trouble, just because she was never satisfied with the service. She was a small brunette in her late 40s and came from Yugoslavia (as it was then) but I eventually satisfied her and it cost me money. Suddenly she became extremely friendly and would pop in to see me whenever in town, always greeting me with a kiss. Then I got the Valentines card. My staff thought it was hilarious because in broken English it said she wanted to have me. As soon as she called again I tried to thank her but explain that I was happily married, but she was a little firecracker. I think she got the wrong end of the stick as she thought I was trying to set up an affair and her face lit up and she took my hand and slipped up her skirt. She was wearing stockings and I was trying to resist giving her a fingering. Eventually she got the message and realised she was embarrassing herself. I only saw her occasionally after that, a couple of times with her husband but she still kissed me on greeting and leaving.
The other bother I had was to send a pretty 22year old an anonymous Valentine card when I worked for a larger business. She went into breakdown as she thought it was from an abusive ex, and I was too scared to tell her it was from me. It was two years later at a Christmas party that I confessed to her. She was so thankful that it had been me that she hugged me for 20 minutes and we ended up playing tonsil hockey. I was 50 and was very smug that such a beauty was snogging my face off. I don't know who came to their senses first as I almost ended up in her hotel room as we were both getting carried away.

**bubbs999** · February 18th, 2019, 02:52 AM

I don't get valentine cards, being a widower with no social life, and resigned to my 'status' in the world.

A friend of my Mothers (in her late 70s) buys a valentine card for her youngest son (in his mid 40s) and gets my Mother to write it and post to him.

Thank Christ my Mother has enough sense not to undertake this farce on my account. It is humiliating, patronising and smacks of desperation. He would be mortified if he knew the source.

Done with love in heart, and good intent, no doubt

I content myself with the metric tonne of junk mail I receive on an almost daily basis

**muggly** · February 18th, 2019, 10:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bubbs999

I don't get valentine cards, being a widower with no social life, and resigned to my 'status' in the world.

A friend of my Mothers (in her late 70s) buys a valentine card for her youngest son (in his mid 40s) and gets my Mother to write it and post to him.

Thank Christ my Mother has enough sense not to undertake this farce on my account. It is humiliating, patronising and smacks of desperation. He would be mortified if he knew the source.

Done with love in heart, and good intent, no doubt

I content myself with the metric tonne of junk mail I receive on an almost daily basis

Give me your address and I will get my wife to send you a card next year.😉

**Old Jud** · February 25th, 2019, 06:57 PM

'Did the postman have a big bundle for you on valentines day?'

Is the above a euphemism for the dirty bastard sticking his knob through the letter box?

February 18th, 2019, 02:52 AM	#12
bubbs999 Vintage Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Here, UK Posts: 1,965 Thanks: 15,653 Thanked 31,310 Times in 1,952 Posts	Sad.. I don't get valentine cards, being a widower with no social life, and resigned to my 'status' in the world. A friend of my Mothers (in her late 70s) buys a valentine card for her youngest son (in his mid 40s) and gets my Mother to write it and post to him. Thank Christ my Mother has enough sense not to undertake this farce on my account. It is humiliating, patronising and smacks of desperation. He would be mortified if he knew the source. Done with love in heart, and good intent, no doubt I content myself with the metric tonne of junk mail I receive on an almost daily basis __________________ "Here's looking at you kid"

February 17th, 2019, 10:31 AM	#11
muggly Vintage Member Join Date: Jan 2012 Location: England Posts: 707 Thanks: 2,443 Thanked 6,631 Times in 683 Posts	I stopped getting Valentines cards many years ago and don't send any now either. My wife would say I was being sycophantic if I sent her one. However in the past a couple of cards got me into a potential bother. In the eighties a female client of mine was at a point of causing me some trouble, just because she was never satisfied with the service. She was a small brunette in her late 40s and came from Yugoslavia (as it was then) but I eventually satisfied her and it cost me money. Suddenly she became extremely friendly and would pop in to see me whenever in town, always greeting me with a kiss. Then I got the Valentines card. My staff thought it was hilarious because in broken English it said she wanted to have me. As soon as she called again I tried to thank her but explain that I was happily married, but she was a little firecracker. I think she got the wrong end of the stick as she thought I was trying to set up an affair and her face lit up and she took my hand and slipped up her skirt. She was wearing stockings and I was trying to resist giving her a fingering. Eventually she got the message and realised she was embarrassing herself. I only saw her occasionally after that, a couple of times with her husband but she still kissed me on greeting and leaving. The other bother I had was to send a pretty 22year old an anonymous Valentine card when I worked for a larger business. She went into breakdown as she thought it was from an abusive ex, and I was too scared to tell her it was from me. It was two years later at a Christmas party that I confessed to her. She was so thankful that it had been me that she hugged me for 20 minutes and we ended up playing tonsil hockey. I was 50 and was very smug that such a beauty was snogging my face off. I don't know who came to their senses first as I almost ended up in her hotel room as we were both getting carried away.

February 25th, 2019, 06:57 PM	#14
Old Jud Vintage Member Join Date: Jul 2012 Location: Manchester UK Posts: 840 Thanks: 7,251 Thanked 8,633 Times in 819 Posts	'Did the postman have a big bundle for you on valentines day?' Is the above a euphemism for the dirty bastard sticking his knob through the letter box?