Post your corny jokes - Page 1439

**trailmaster** · March 19th, 2019, 10:28 AM

Little Johnny's first grade class was playing "Name That Animal." The teacher held up a picture of a cat and asked. "What animal is this?"

"A cat!" said Suzy.

"Good job. Now, what's this animal?"

"A dog!" said Ricky.

"Good. Now what animal is this?" she asked, holding up a picture of a deer.

The class fell silent. After a couple of minutes, the teacher said, "It's what your mom calls your dad."

"I know!" called out Little Johnny. "A horny bastard!"

**photoflex** · March 19th, 2019, 11:14 AM

France’s Europe minister Nathalie Loiseau calls her cat ‘Brexit’, because “He wakes me up every morning miaowing to death because he wants to go out, and then when I open the door he stays in the middle, undecided, and then gives me evil looks when I put him out,”

MaxJoker · March 19th, 2019, 05:23 PM

Why don't the blind skydive anymore ?,

Too many dogs swallowed their own tongues on the way down.

**ball7** · March 20th, 2019, 06:26 AM

What color does Will Smith go when you choke him?

Black - what did you expect.

**trailmaster** · March 20th, 2019, 10:34 AM

Little Johnny is always being teased by the other neighborhood boys for being stupid. Their favorite joke is to offer Johnny his choice between a nickel and a dime, and little Johnny always takes the nickel.
One day, after Johnny takes the nickel, a neighbor takes him aside and says, "Johnny, those boys are making fun of you. Don't you know that a dime is worth more than a nickel, even though the the nickel's bigger?"
Johnny grins and says, "Well, if I took the dime, they'd stop doing it, and so far I've made $20!"

**seldomseen** · March 20th, 2019, 10:54 AM

My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad, finally I had to take his bike away.

MaxJoker · March 20th, 2019, 12:06 PM

My uncle just got struck off the medical register for having sex with his patients ,

Real shame as he's a very good vet.

E.S.Blowfeld · March 20th, 2019, 01:24 PM

I wanted to marry my English teacher when she got out of jail but apparently you can't end a sentence with a proposition.

**trailmaster** · March 21st, 2019, 01:02 PM

The teacher says, "Today we are going to learn multisyllabic words, class. Does anyone have an example of a multisyllabic word?"

Little Johnny waves his hand, "Me, teacher! Oh, me, me!"

The teacher smiles and says, "Alright, Johnny, what is your multisyllabic word?"

Little Johnny says, "Mas-tur-bate."

The teacher is taken aback, but she manages to smile and says, "Wow, Johnny, that's a mouthful."

Little Johnny says, "No, ma'am, you're thinking of a blow job. I'm talking about jerking off."

**mrfixit** · March 21st, 2019, 04:10 PM

March 19th, 2019, 11:14 AM	#14382
photoflex Veteran Member Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Location: Location Posts: 3,583 Thanks: 37,925 Thanked 127,786 Times in 3,570 Posts	France’s Europe minister Nathalie Loiseau calls her cat ‘Brexit’, because “He wakes me up every morning miaowing to death because he wants to go out, and then when I open the door he stays in the middle, undecided, and then gives me evil looks when I put him out,” __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. I love your thanks, but please thank the original posters first.

March 19th, 2019, 05:23 PM	#14383
MaxJoker Beloved Brother Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19 Posts: 69,106 Thanks: 372,713 Thanked 987,580 Times in 69,067 Posts	Why don't the blind skydive anymore ?, Too many dogs swallowed their own tongues on the way down. __________________ My hypocrisy only goes so To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

March 20th, 2019, 06:26 AM	#14384
ball7 Veteran Member Join Date: Jul 2013 Location: MIA Posts: 15,691 Thanks: 66,289 Thanked 209,991 Times in 15,731 Posts	What color does Will Smith go when you choke him? Black - what did you expect. __________________ Hello, I must be going - Groucho Marx Looking for stills or scenes from the movie Agent BH 44 starring Ian Carmichael.

March 20th, 2019, 10:54 AM	#14386
seldomseen Veteran Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Posts: 38,203 Thanks: 127,400 Thanked 711,993 Times in 38,112 Posts	My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad, finally I had to take his bike away. __________________ -------------------------------------------------------------- Some hae meat, and canna eat.

March 20th, 2019, 12:06 PM	#14387
MaxJoker Beloved Brother Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19 Posts: 69,106 Thanks: 372,713 Thanked 987,580 Times in 69,067 Posts	My uncle just got struck off the medical register for having sex with his patients , Real shame as he's a very good vet. __________________ My hypocrisy only goes so To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

March 19th, 2019, 10:28 AM	#14381
trailmaster Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2013 Location: Chicago, Illinois, USA Posts: 59,904 Thanks: 1,329,092 Thanked 707,272 Times in 60,076 Posts	Little Johnny's first grade class was playing "Name That Animal." The teacher held up a picture of a cat and asked. "What animal is this?" "A cat!" said Suzy. "Good job. Now, what's this animal?" "A dog!" said Ricky. "Good. Now what animal is this?" she asked, holding up a picture of a deer. The class fell silent. After a couple of minutes, the teacher said, "It's what your mom calls your dad." "I know!" called out Little Johnny. "A horny bastard!"

March 20th, 2019, 10:34 AM	#14385
trailmaster Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2013 Location: Chicago, Illinois, USA Posts: 59,904 Thanks: 1,329,092 Thanked 707,272 Times in 60,076 Posts	Little Johnny is always being teased by the other neighborhood boys for being stupid. Their favorite joke is to offer Johnny his choice between a nickel and a dime, and little Johnny always takes the nickel. One day, after Johnny takes the nickel, a neighbor takes him aside and says, "Johnny, those boys are making fun of you. Don't you know that a dime is worth more than a nickel, even though the the nickel's bigger?" Johnny grins and says, "Well, if I took the dime, they'd stop doing it, and so far I've made $20!"

March 20th, 2019, 01:24 PM	#14388
E.S.Blowfeld Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 41 Thanks: 219 Thanked 631 Times in 39 Posts	I wanted to marry my English teacher when she got out of jail but apparently you can't end a sentence with a proposition. __________________ My cat's breath smells of cat-food!

March 21st, 2019, 01:02 PM	#14389
trailmaster Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2013 Location: Chicago, Illinois, USA Posts: 59,904 Thanks: 1,329,092 Thanked 707,272 Times in 60,076 Posts	The teacher says, "Today we are going to learn multisyllabic words, class. Does anyone have an example of a multisyllabic word?" Little Johnny waves his hand, "Me, teacher! Oh, me, me!" The teacher smiles and says, "Alright, Johnny, what is your multisyllabic word?" Little Johnny says, "Mas-tur-bate." The teacher is taken aback, but she manages to smile and says, "Wow, Johnny, that's a mouthful." Little Johnny says, "No, ma'am, you're thinking of a blow job. I'm talking about jerking off."

March 21st, 2019, 04:10 PM	#14390
mrfixit Vintage Member Join Date: May 2009 Location: Elm Street Posts: 9,401 Thanks: 165,867 Thanked 114,829 Times in 9,416 Posts	__________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Where's my Illudium PU-36 Explosive Space Modulator?