The corrupt a wish game

[bowlinggreen]

Wish granted, but she's a mean biter. When you start criticizing all of the sucky aspects of The Big Bang Theory, she gets mad, and gives you a chomp.

Since she forgot to brush her teeth that day, the resulting infection is extremely nasty. You end up barely escaping death from blood poisoning, and the doctors have to amputate your johnson in the ER.

Henceforth you are forced to stimulate your prostate gland with an electric wand up your butt in order to have orgasms and dump that excess semen. This looks decidedly odd shooting out of the little hole the doctors left for you to piss out of.

Someone convinces you that videos of this will be appreciated on certain bizarre sex sites, so you do a few movies, and they inevitably end up in one of "those" threads on VEF. You become the butt of much derision. At least once a week trailmaster asks what happened to your goose, and how did it get loose.

I wish to spend a long weekend in the sauna and in the hot tub with Mili Jay and Jana Horova.

[Sir Honkers]

Originally Posted by bowlinggreen

I wish to spend a long weekend in the sauna and in the hot tub with Mili Jay and Jana Horova.

Granted. On day two, as massive dehydration takes it's toll, your efforts to attract attention by pounding on the door with the head of the recently heat deceased Jana grow weaker and weaker and to add to your troubles Mila uses her nails to slice your jugular open and quench her raging thirst with your blood. Your last thought is 'hey, that's not what I meant by suck me dry bitch!'
I wish to have Mila Kunis tied up in the cellar

[ruffroundedges]

Originally Posted by loosegoose

Granted.
I wish to have Mila Kunis tied up in the cellar

Granted:

Tied in your cellar she desperately tries to escape. Bumping across the floor she knocks over the flimsy shelf unit and is showered with formaldehyde as the glass jars containing your severed finger collection break around her.
Combining with her massive quelude habit she turns into a insatiable zombienympho.
Breaking free of her binding twine bonds she charges upstairs to find you watching Spiderman 3. The sight of Topher Grace drives her into a vengeful nymphomaniac frenzy.

The last you see of her is as she walks out the front door, your wiener still clenched in her hand.

We mourn.

Just once I wish I could motorboat Nadine Jansen and get away with it.

[trailmaster]

Wish granted, however, when you snuggled between her massive breasts you were smothered to death, and she pushed you overboard and you were eaten by a great white shark, and then she sold your motorboat and now she is shacked up with a real man!


I wish I could be transported to an alternate Earth where it is always 1958, when everything was nice, t.v. and movies were the best and prices were so low and jobs were everywhere.

[bloke57]

Originally Posted by trailmaster

I wish I could be transported to an alternate Earth where it is always 1958, when everything was nice, t.v. and movies were the best and prices were so low and jobs were everywhere.

Wish granted!

You gorge yourself on all that lovely food at low, low prices...

Then the chest pains come. You call emergency services. "Please. I'm having a heart attack...give me a heart transplant".

"A what!!?"

You are arrested on suspicion of being a bloodthirsty weirdo and die in pain and in custody.

I wish I could redecorate a room by just the power of my mind.

[ruffroundedges]

Originally Posted by bloke57

I wish I could redecorate a room by just the power of my mind.

Granted:

During an embarrassing Cricket altercation at the pub you are whacked upside the head with a bat. As the headaches pass you find your latent telekinetic powers emerge.
At the next Sat. viewing your lady boss is amazed at the speed in which you have re decorated the sitting room. She takes issue with the fact you chose rainbow unicornkitties as the main theme however.
Ripping her conservative business jacket off to reveal a black leather corset she proceeds to whip you with a riding crop and screaming at you in German.
You flee towards the foyer but stumble and are impaled on the horn of a cheshire grinned kitten.

We mourn.

I wish I had a rockin' Gibson Firebird like Steve Gaines used to play.

[bigtrain45]

I wish I had a rockin' Gibson Firebird like Steve Gaines used to play.

Granted, but as you attempt to play it for the first time, it turns into an actual Firebird, flies around the room, poops on your head, then flies out the window.

I wish I could get to drive one of the Ford GT-40's that won Le Mans.

[ruffroundedges]

I wish I could get to drive one of the Ford GT-40's that won Le Mans.

Granted:

You get the chance to drive the GT that won the 67 Le Mans. But only up and down the driveway.

I wish I owned the Bat Mobile.

[tygrkhat40]

Congratulations, you now own a rare Alexander Calder made of echo-locating, nocturnal flying mammals.

I wish I wasn't so stressed out about my blood sugar levels.

[bowlinggreen]

Wish granted. A 100 foot meteorite made out of Christmas candy bits and Pop Rocks crashes through the roof of your house and vaporizes you instantly. No more stress.

I wish Miami Vice was real and I was Sonny Crockett cruising along through South Beach in my Ferrari in the year 1986.