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Old 08-04-2018, 02:11 PM   #13861
trailmaster
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Smile

Why was Stevise Wonder always smiling?
Because he didn't know he was black.
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A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving?
The cops.
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Why do black people have white palms?
Black people have white palms and the bottoms of their feet because when God was painting them they were assuming the position.
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Why do black people smell?
So blind people can hate them too.
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What do you call 1 white guy surrounded by 5 black guys? Coach.
What do you call 1 white guy surrounded by 10 black guys? Quarterback
What do you call 1 white guy surrounded by 100 black guys? Warden.
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What's white and ten inches long?
A black person's criminal record, and that's just his juvenile record.
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Old 08-04-2018, 02:37 PM   #13862
MaxJoker
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What did the overly excited Gardener do when Spring finally came ? ,

Wet his plants.

Where would you find flying rabbits ? ,

In the Hare-Force
.

What happens when frogs park illegally ? ,

They get toad .



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Old 08-04-2018, 07:38 PM   #13863
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Get to know as many mathematicians as you can as a lot of mathematicians add up.
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Old 08-04-2018, 08:33 PM   #13864
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My mom always told me she met my dad in a club:
The Mile High Club
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Old 08-04-2018, 08:38 PM   #13865
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My mate has twenty fingers and twenty toes,He's a guy you can really count on...
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The nakedness of woman is the work of God-William Blake

It is a porn site,But it's a Classy porn site.
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Old 08-04-2018, 09:20 PM   #13866
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The wife said to me one night "I'm bored. I want you to take to someplace I've never been".
So I took her to the kitchen. (rim shot goes here)
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Just give me your body...I'll give you my brain...it's a fair exchange.
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Old 08-04-2018, 10:16 PM   #13867
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Herbert, Karl and Heinz go to the pub. By midnight, they are finally completely boozed up, and decide to end the evening and go home to their waiting wives. When Heinz gets up from the table, he notices that he pissed into his pants without realizing it, and gets a brutal panic attack. 'My God, if my wife sees this mess she will give me hell for weeks!!!!' Out of sheer fear of his wife, he begins to cry bitterly. 'Wait', Karl says, 'I have an terrific idea how you can easely explain it to her. Just take 20 bucks and put it into a pocket of your jacket. Then you say Herbert peed on you, and gave you the 20 euros for cleaning.' No sooner said than done! Heinz is comforted, and confidently walks home in his wetted pants. His angry wife has been waiting for hours, and immediately starts the nagging. 'Where have you been so long you idiot? God, you are soooo stupid!!! Who do you think I am?' Finally, her sparking gaze wanders to the wet spots. 'And what is that? Did you pee into your pants? 'No', says Heinz, 'that was Herbert. He peed on me. But look into my jacket, there are 20 bucks. Herbert gave it to me for cleaning.' The raging wife immediately controls the jacket, but finds only 50 bucks. What is that again? There are no 20 bucks, but 50 bucks!!!' 'Oh yes', says Heinz, 'I forgot to mention that Herbert has shitted into my pants on the way home as well.'
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Old 08-05-2018, 08:57 AM   #13868
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Couple go to a marriage guidance councillor and see thay haven't reall talked to each other for the last 10 years. He listens carefully to them, then gets out a bass guitar and begins to play a beautiful solo. The couple began to have a conversation, then stop and look at the councillor and ask him how he did it.

"People always talk during a bass solo" he said.
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Old 08-05-2018, 09:44 AM   #13869
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[QUOTE=MaxJoker;4512647]I hate being Bi-Polar,

It's awesome
.


I'm a schizophrenic.

So I'm I
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Old 08-05-2018, 11:59 AM   #13870
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Smile

One day a nurse is giving a woman in a coma a sponge bath and notices the heartbeat change slightly when the sponge was in her crotch. Excitedly, she goes to the phone and calls the woman's husband and tells him to come to the hospital. When he gets there the nurse tells him that she thinks that his wife could be helped perhaps by a little bit of oral sex, that maybe it is crazy but it just might work. The man goes into his wife's booth. A couple of minutes later her heartbeat flat-lines. The man walks out, and the nurse stunned askes "What happened?" The man replies "I think she choked"
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