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Old 07-21-2018, 01:22 PM   #13861
PJayBr
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A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack.

"Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30000 loan to take a holiday."

Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's OK, he knows the bank manager. Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.

The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about half an inch tall - bright pink and perfectly formed.

Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office. She finds the manager and says, "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30000, and he wants to use this as collateral."

She holds up the tiny pink elephant.

"I mean, what in the world is this?"

The bank manager looks back at her and says, "It's a knick-knack, Patty Whack, give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."
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Old 07-21-2018, 04:55 PM   #13862
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Of course, on my trip to Australia I had to drink Foster's lager. Unsurprisingly, Foster was not pleased.
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Old 07-21-2018, 05:21 PM   #13863
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Big Grin Hey the thread is about corny , not up to date jokes ... Ahem ... Some might say

What's white and skimmed across the water at 200mph ? ,

Lord Mountbatten’s trainers on 27th August 1979
.



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Old 07-22-2018, 05:45 AM   #13864
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So as not to be detected by the enemy, a submarine was lying on the sea bed, observing silence.Not a sound could be heard, except a quiet "ting, ting, ting...."The captain told one of the sailors to investigate the cause and remedy it.Some time later he reported to the captain that the noise had been stopped."What was causing it?" asks the captain."The first officer was having a wank in the forward shithouse - sir!" says the sailor."Well I'm glad you stopped him", says the captain."I didn't have the heart to stop him sir, I just removed his cufflinks!"
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Old 07-22-2018, 11:29 AM   #13865
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MaxJoker View Post
What's white and skimmed across the water at 200mph ? ,

Lord Mountbatten’s trainers on 27th August 1979
.

Hey! *I* told a version of that joke once, on this forum, post number 10013! It was his deck shoe! His deck shoe!

Words with a K are funny! -- Willie Clark, The Sunshine Boys
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Old 07-22-2018, 03:22 PM   #13866
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So I asked my Mum,
"Mum, is it true my Dad was an airline pilot?"
She replies, "Yes, he was an airline pilot".
Then I ask, "So what happened Mum?"
She replies, "Well, he just vanished off the radar".
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Old 07-23-2018, 02:08 PM   #13867
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Big Grin Nice you diligently KKKKKKKKKeep track of your posts like that. Plus you didn't come across as deranged at all ... Cough ... Honest

Quote:
Originally Posted by Aaron View Post
Hey! *I* told a version of that joke once, on this forum, post number 10013! It was his deck shoe! His deck shoe!
Ok ok , calm down dear
Stumbled across it away from here and thought I`d put a slightly different spin on it and post .
Hardly like either of us invented the gag , things decades old


Forgot to go to Hypochondriacs Anonymous today ,

Bet it's early on-set Alzheimers
.


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Old 07-25-2018, 08:49 AM   #13868
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I hate people who take drugs ,

Such as customs officers and policemen.



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Old 07-25-2018, 09:28 AM   #13869
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How do you keep an idiot in suspense?
I will let you know next week.
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Old 07-25-2018, 07:58 PM   #13870
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Why do so many Americans wear T Shirts ?
Because They have the right to bare arms..
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