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Old 07-10-2018, 11:21 AM   #601
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Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by MaxJoker View Post
Women are a lot like video games ,

When they get too difficult you have to cheat
.


A tactical wife is one who makes sure she spends so much on herself that her husband can't afford another woman.

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Old 07-10-2018, 02:51 PM   #602
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Big Grin

Quote:
Originally Posted by Estreeter View Post

A tactical wife is one who makes sure she spends so much on herself that her husband can't afford another woman.





After almost a year in a coma my wife is having to learn the basics ,

Like how to walk, how to talk, how to feed herself
,

Plus remember how never to argue with me while at the top of the stairs again.



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Old 07-12-2018, 12:22 PM   #603
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When a woman gets a vibrator, it's seen as a bit of kinky fun.


When a bloke orders a 3 phase 415 volt Fuck Master Pro 1000 blowup latex doll with 6 speed pulsating pussy, elasticised anus with non-drip semen collecting tray, together with the optional built-in realistic orgasm scream 7.1 sound system, he's called a pervert.



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Old 07-13-2018, 01:29 PM   #604
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These 3 women were talking about their teenage daughters.

The first Mother says: "I was so shocked last week. I was tidying my daughter”s room and I found a packet of cigarettes under her pillow. I didn’t even know that she smoked!"

"It gets worse than that," says the second. "I was tidying my daughter”s room last week and I found a bottle of whiskey under her bed. I didn’t even know that she drank alcohol!"

"Oh, it gets even worse than that,” says the third Mum. "I was tidying my daughter”s room last week and you”ll never guess what I found in her bedside cabinet, a packet of condoms! I didn’t even know that she had a dick"



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Old 07-13-2018, 02:21 PM   #605
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Big Grin

The deaf girlfriend was talking in her sleep last night ,

She nearly took my fucking eye out
.



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Old 07-18-2018, 11:30 AM   #606
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Women need 4 animals

A Tiger in bedroom
A Mink in her closet
Aa Jaguar in her garage
A Jackass to pay for it all.


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Old 07-18-2018, 12:01 PM   #607
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Default

Found my girlfriend hanging in the bathroom this morning ,

Had pinned a note to her dress which read "Just can't take the critism anymore",

Quickly cut her down and managed to revive her ,

As she lay in my arms and slowly opened her eyes I said,

"That's not how you spell criticism ".



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Old 07-20-2018, 04:41 PM   #608
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Wink A Muslim wife complains to her husband that all the romance had gone out of their marriage

"Remember when you used to carry me up to bed each night , why don't you do that anymore ?" She asked ,

"Be fair" He replied "As an eight year old you were much lighter "
.


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Old 07-23-2018, 05:15 PM   #609
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Smile

You can tell a lot about a person by their car ,

For example if it's in a ditch it's a womans.



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Old 07-25-2018, 01:15 PM   #610
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Wink

Never treat a woman like an object ,

It hates that.


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