The Man Versus Woman Conundrum Thread

[MaxJoker]

In other words Relationships with that very opposite sex !

What brought you together ?

For me and my last EX it was seeing her looking worried while holding her cat as the sun shone down on her and the breeze blew her billowy skirt around her bare calves

What maybe drove you apart ?

First niggle was when we were both in Marks looking at those oven takeaway things they sell. She made a big deal over the fact i wanted to mix and match the Indian and Chinese . As i was going to get ribs and have pilau rice and Nan bread with it. I know like what`s the big deal right ?. Anyway it was things such as that , and me finding out she didn`t find Bilko or Rising Damp funny that started to distance me from her.

See i can`t stand being spoken AT during the best of times, so to have my personal choices of lifestyle criticized by a woman incapable of planning or preparing for anything herself is simply too much to bare.

Yet it happens all the time


Yeah like they`ve got the market on common sense cornered or something , hah well a recent independent study certainly said different



So how`s your relationship ?

Are you in one , and wishing you weren`t ?

Are you out of one , yet crazily keeping an eye open for the next like a true glutton for punishment ?

[IMG]http://i48.*******.com/2la3mdv.gif[/IMG]


Did start one of these up before some time back but it slowly died and i had to eventually put one in it`s head , which is sort of ironic since that`s how all my relationships end up .


Mainly coughing this Flem up again as the EX recently tried to cause me much vex by leaving me a message via text saying she was pregnant , but when i eventually got through to her three days later ( Today) she said she`d had an abortion.

I asked where she`d got the procedure done and who by

She then called me several obsolete (As i`m so much worser than that ) swear names and slammed the phone down.


Women


Are they all as vindictive

I mean just look at Saint Hopper

The man is diagnosed with a terminal illness and given a couple months to live , and what does his beloved wife of fourteen years concern herself with ?

Is it making those last days as stress free and comfortable as humanly possible ?

Is it bringing together all his friends and family in a celebration of his life so he can never feel alone even for an instant during those days ?

Naaaah

She complains about the prenuptial and calls a contract lawyer , phones the media to get her side of the story in first ,then leaves the house with their young daughter and doesn`t tell him where they`re going .
In other words she behaves like a spoilt selfish uncaring bitch

So what is your experience with those supposed better half`s ? , if you feel like venting steam let us know , as it`s never all laughs

[edgarcasey]

I mean, we're all familiar with the adage: "Women: can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em."
Basically, that's been the story of my life. Must not I conclude then, that based on my life experiences, truer words have never been spoken?
It's damn difficult (if not impossible), because really, who among us wants to live without a good woman, and how many of us that value our sanity really want to live with her? And so, 'conundrum' is exactly the right word.
Women are always griping that all men are pigs. Well, okay...but women are crazy! And of course, both sides are more than a little hypocritical, being that women are horndogs, too (they just don't like to admit it usually), and men are often quite completely insane. So there are commonalities. Women are romantics... I'm a romantic. To love and be loved in return: isn't that what all of us want? So no matter how many times we are tormented, gutted, cut up, burned, charred, ripped apart, stepped on and shattered, we still hold out hope that next time will be different. Next time will be that deep, profound meaningful love - one that will hold up, one that will stand the test of time.
And how do you describe love? How do you know when you're truly in love? I think that if someone steps up and asks you, you know, 'do you love this person', and you hesitate in your response, even for an instant, if there is any uncertainty there, then you're really not in love. If you really truly love someone, you know it. You just know it. You can feel it so deeply, mind, body and soul. And I think there are different levels, too (cue the James Taylor: "thought I was in love a couple of times before, with the girl next door - but that was long before a met ya..."). My analogy would be, you know, I sound like a really good pianist - until Murray Perahia walks in the room, sits down and plays. It's on an entirely different level, one that makes any prior feelings you've had pale by comparison.
And now, rather late in life (I've been around a half century now), I've found someone on this level. I know it because I can feel it so deeply, with every fiber of my being. I know it because I've never loved like this before. It's something very hard to describe, something quite ineffable, something hard to believe (how often, if given the chance to change one thing about another person, you wouldn't change anything), something that has Mr. Skeptical conjuring up words like 'fate' and 'destiny' (it felt natural from the start, almost as if we had always known each other). I know it, too, because somehow it makes immanent sense that she resides at the opposite end of the globe (the only way we could be further apart right now would be if one of us lived on the International Space Station), and that it took this long to find her.

[blondifan]

I've had two what I consider major relationships, both with art students, and a plethora of casual (usually fleeting) relationships.
Both of these ended in the fifth year.

The first I met across a table in a crowded bar, surrounded by mutual 'arty' friends.
Shortly after we were introduced, we both blushed.
We were both 17 and shouldn't have been in there anyway.
We ended up living together before the end of the year. Although we dated regularly (I used to pick her up every weekend on my motorbike, much to her parents disgust), it was 6 months before our first kiss.
I ended that one as I wanted to travel and many of our friends were divorcing anyway. (Yeah, stupid I know).
During our time together we shared all but two of our houses with other friends, she was always the most together (employed and conscionable).
Sometime after we split up she met someone else, had 4 kids, lost the plot and then custody of her own children.
I heard this from her once on the phone, although I don't really know any details, other than she was the aggressor.

After many other relationships, a lot of which lasted around 18 months, I met the antichrist.
She was the best (and more attractive) friend of a girl I was seeing occasionally, for casual sex.
This ended when I was late one night and she'd locked me out of the house.
Next morning all my stuff was in the driveway, a lot of it smashed.
The irony was the housewarming I was at, which is why I was late, was at the home of a workfriend
(who was just that), yet the antichrist was 'kind of' seeing the workfriends ex-partner.
Small Australian town, aye?

During the interim I bounced (or should I say re-bounded) between women.
Unfortunately one of these was a really sweet woman who I know loved me and wanted to have children.
Unfortunately I was still 'hung up' on someone else.
I was saddened to hear she died last November.

[Estreeter]

Originally Posted by edgarcasey

Women are always griping that all men are pigs. Well, okay...but women are crazy!

True but ya can't deny we're crazy about them.

Let's see, my current and final relationship.
I'll never forget the night I was in an up market bar/nightclub and from behind me i heard the laugh and voice I love, feminine and slightly husky She kept laughing for quite some time and I had too meet her. I saw her go too the bar, so naturally I needed another drink and went too the bar also and while waiting too get served i managed too strike up a conversation with her.
I was thinking of how too make her laugh, but somehow she was making me laugh, we had a great time and towards closing time she said that she'd never seen a male laugh with her at her jokes that much. It made it easy. That's the last I saw of her until about 6 months or so later, I saw her again at the same bar with a girl I work with and as fate would have it, they are sisters.
Bingo for me, we exchanged numbers and it all grew from there. Living with her now and her kids who see and treat me like their dad.

Yes she has labeled me a pig, tried too change my habits and so on, even told me countless times to grow up.

That ain't ever gonna happen . She knows it, I cannot blame her for trying, that's something they all try, it's in their blood.

[MaxJoker]

I`m currently finishing off the remaining miniature bottles of alcohol i half inched from my hotel room last week ,in celebration of a much respected Mods return (Not that i needed an excuse to drink) . While i do so i`m trying to work out who has been my worst girlfriend to date.

Was it the one five EX`s ago who surprised me eight proper dates in by arranging to meet at yo sushi (A place i can`t stand anyway) , yet turned up with her mother , father and brother. You know so i could get to meet the "Family " ,while small dishes of raw fish circulated around my head.

Then again maybe it was it the one before last who i not only caught going through my phone messages but replying to a female friend as me !!!!

Or was it one of my first girlfriends who i agreed to let stay with me while her flat was being renovated , until six weeks in i found out she`d actually decided to rent it to a friend and move in permanently.


No she wasn`t the worst , since that reminds me of the one three ex`s ago who didn`t even ask . She just moved in while i was away with work ,eventhough the most she was meant to do was feed my cat and check my mail. I get back to discover she`d set up residence , and two months later from a neighbour that she`d even held a flat warming party !!!

Man she was the absolute worst , so bad in fact i eventually left Leeds and moved east just to get away from the bunny boiling loon .

Least things aren`t usually THAT bad , but they do all end pretty much the same way. Like with most other guys i guess . It`s as if the women believe they`re in the right the entire time even when logic clearly points otherwise. Half the time it`s like they`re trying to mother us , and the other half fatally smother us .

I mean why would any sane rational person move into somebody`s home without their permission and think that person wouldn`t be majorly pissed off ?. Come to think of it what sort of rational person would also spring their family on a boyfriend and still expect him to be all jovial and jokey ???

The early nineties all we heard about was the corporate slogan of girl power , and how women could do it all for themselves. How they were now free to be their own individuals , or some such crap. So what do they do in reality ?. Did they strive to create a world of fairness of all embracing nurturing love ?.

Nope , they just out drank us and fell over in the street a lot .

Thing is most mens bad behaviour can usually be excused by an overindulgence of the Hops , whereas women of today seem to be raucous and demanding of attention whether they`re drunk or sober !.

So sod womens liberation , how about some male adoration !

We`re the ones who take the risk`s , get the blame , do the work and catch the grief after all

[anklebiter]

I'm a lucky guy.My life moved in the direction of joining the US Marines, and probably retiring or being killed.It was my dream, my destiny.
When I finished school, I wanted to party for a year to get it out of my system.
I worked at some small machine shop, and had gone weekly to the bank teller every week for about a year.After my "party year", I began the enlistment procedures.I had basically signed on, but had to take my physical.On the way there, I stopped in at the bank, and it was as if we fell in love that very moment.I managed to get out of enlisting in the Marines, and we've been together ever since.
I'm deeply in love 21 years later, and I couldn't imagine life without her.She loves me for who I am, she accepts my shortcomings,and as jack Nicholson said, she makes me want to be a better man.
Is she perfect? No, but who is? All said, there's very little I would change about her.I would change myself before I would change her, and I know she feels the same.
I don't understand everything about her, and she don't understand everything about me, but after 21 years, and there's still a surprise once in a while, I consider myself blessed.

[Estreeter]

Ya got this part right

Originally Posted by brianwp

GS, you seek the answer to the unexplainable
she wants to change him. He's a slob. He doesn't put the toilet seat up. He's crude. He doesn't like chick flicks. He don't pay attention to her needs. He hangs out too much with his friends. He hunts too much. He fishes too much. He drinks too much. He swears too much. He kids around too much. And so on, and so on.

My experience is this is true, but ya do mellow slightly as ya get older. But do the mellowing yourself, don't let it get sped up by an external force.

What I found that works for me is If ya want to be a slob, be a slob But give them some input. Like recently, We had too got too a formal event, it was a hot day and night, so when I got out of bed, I thought I'd be a nice guy and pulled 2 suits out of the wardrobe and asked which I should wear, She liked that, picked the one that I didn't want too wear, naturally. But it did give me the right too be a pig for the next 6 hours.

It's only a small example, but my style is compromise
before you have too start compromising.

[jinky101]

This is my first post, but I guess you boys deserve it.
I met my Ex-wife ten years ago, when I stopped to help someone who had broken down at the side of the road. She was nearly crying and had an empty plastic can in her hand. I filled her car, and for the next year was the best most loyal friend anyone could have, she was with an extremely violent and sadistic man, he didn't bother me, (I was just out of the RMC, so no one scared me much), but she lived in mortal fear of him, and always felt that he would hurt her or her child.
I was so in love that for that year I never even tried to make love to her, and even backed down when she offered it on a plate.
She finally left her husband and they eventually got a divorce.
The day she bought her own house she told me to sell mine. I did.
Instead of putting my name on the mortgage, I helped her to pay off the shedload of mysterious debt that her Ex had left her with, 'To help set us up in our new life.'
When I sold my first motorbike, to buy her an engagement ring, the alarm bells should have gone off. They didn't.
When I realised that we were carrying so much debt that my monthly wage was being spent straightaway, I should have understood that there was a problem. I didn't.
When she suddenly wanted a lot of anal sex I should have understood. I didn't.
When she asked me for £65.000 pounds for her new salon and she told me I could quit my job and let her work, I should have laughed in her face. I didn't.
BTW I'm not wealthy or anything, my mother died and left me some money, which the above mentioned is the sum of.
I came home on the 17th of december to an empty house which contained a note telling me to vacate the premises, as I had no right to live there because ,(stupidly), after seven years of living there and paying for it I still hadn't got my name on the mortgage.
Would I do it again?. no.
She was and is bloody gorgeous. A complete lesbian. And her girlfriend is a boot. Idiot.

[froggi3]

jinky101, you should explore legal remedies in this situation. The same thing happened to my friend and he sued his ex and won half of everything. Get a good lawyer, names on mortgages are a very muddled area these days.

[blatt]

My experience is one of fear i must admit.Or of trying anything to avoid an ear bashing and a load of stress i just cant handle. Take this week.I have been avoiding coming onto this great site because my wife has been really suspicious lately of all the time i have been spending here.So instead i went down the pub two nights running to play darts with my neighbour.She didnt like that.Went and played golf on wednesday.She really didnt like that.Stayed late at work yesterday then voted on way home and stayed up to watch results and groan a lot.Could see she was wishing i was back in my room and out of her hair by half eleven.Yes i avoided my study in the back room altogether this week.Was a rough week alright as i made sure i didnt go online at all and no way came on here.No naked women and no laughs all week. The things i do for a quiet life. Looks like it was worth it but as she has moved onto other things to nag me for and im happy back in this tiny room with my radio a pint and my porn. Well if lying every night about me doing extra council work online helps keep our marriage together where is the harm