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Old 05-10-2013, 03:46 PM   #1
Estreeter
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Lightbulb Excuses for anything

I had too go too work this afternoon for a meeting for an hour on a day off Ruined my afternoon which earlier this week I thought I'd be spending having a round of golf

So, I came too the meeting late just too piss of my manager Asked me why I was late, so I bullshitted, I just told him the car wouldn't start and being a company car it was their fault I was late, not mine

We've all used them, real or not, So what some new ones we could use when in a situation where one is needed for whatever,

Not showing up
Punctuality
Not paying attention
Murder
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Old 05-10-2013, 05:01 PM   #2
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The first three are covered by " I got lucky last night " (except with the wife} and the last one and many more are covered by " It's a dirty job, but somebody has to do it "
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Old 05-10-2013, 05:11 PM   #3
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Lightbulb Excuses for.

My military career,

I was just obeying orders !.

Leaving before a cuddle afterwards ,

Hey it`d feel a little like cheating on the wife !.


That prosecution for queer bashing,

Whaaaaat so i can`t have a hobby !.


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Old 05-10-2013, 05:26 PM   #4
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One of Homer Simpsons' that I use all the time,
" It was like that when I got here"
Ariel Castro, (who's also being done for 'receiving')
" Hey, if I'd have known they were there I'd have charged rent"
One of my faves tho, was when a guy came late into our class @ college and when being asked why he was not here on time, he went into an elaborate story how, " he had stopped a pram from drifting into the road by a gust of strong wind & while being thanked by grateful mother & congratulated by the crowd that now surrounded him, his wallet was stolen and on his way to report the theft, an Alien craft beamed him aboard for an anal probe..
... and I thought , I'm gonna be late for college here "
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Old 05-10-2013, 06:32 PM   #5
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A good excuse for not wanting sex

I just ate, gotta wait a while
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Old 05-10-2013, 06:37 PM   #6
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Cool I know, thank Buddha`s balls for a woman`s insecurities .

Quote:
Originally Posted by Estreeter View Post
A good excuse for not wanting sex

I just ate, gotta wait a while

A good excuse for her needing sex, right away with me


Hey you just ate , do you really want it all to go to that fat ass ?


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Old 05-11-2013, 08:51 AM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Estreeter View Post
A good excuse for not wanting sex

I just ate, gotta wait a while
Actually, you don't need an excuse. Just say you need to take a heavy sh*t first
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Old 05-11-2013, 09:22 AM   #8
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I hate nosey parkers who think they've a right to an answer just for asking prying questions. With a smile on my face I tell them I'm off gassing badgers, which is less rude than saying @#$ off. They usually get the message.
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Old 05-17-2013, 12:10 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Estreeter View Post
A good excuse for not wanting sex

I just ate, gotta wait a while
I was thinking more along the lines of......................

'I don't have a paper bag handy'

but thinking of the consequences that would result I thought maybe something else would be more appropriate.
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Old 05-10-2013, 05:23 PM   #10
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I got my arm stuck in the cornflakes packet looking for the plastic toy.
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