Post your corny jokes - Page 728

dazza2 · December 25th, 2013, 05:47 PM

Gents, not a funny but happy christmas to you all, here's to another 12 months of absolute shite jokes

**seany65** · December 25th, 2013, 11:18 PM

A Scottish impressionist is being booed, so he asks the audience why they're booing and one man says:

"That was a terrible impression of a cow!"

the impressionist asks:

"What was wrong with it?"

the man says:

"You forgot the sound effect."

The impressionist thinks for a minute and then says:

"Och aye, the moo!"

**gedly** · December 26th, 2013, 10:47 AM

My wife said to me, "Aww sweetie, these outfits you got me make me look so sexy and a bit slutty". I reply "Yeah, now go out to work".

jjcanada · December 26th, 2013, 10:51 AM

Ques: How do you get down from an elephant?

Ans: You don't -- you get down from a duck.

**seany65** · December 27th, 2013, 01:05 AM

A scottish ghost is trying to scare away the new owners of hois acnestral scottish castle, but they just stand there, looking bored, so he asks them why they're not scared, and one says:

"You forgot the sound effect!"

The scottish ghost thinks for a minute and then says:

"Och aye, the Boo!"

**retroanalyst** · December 27th, 2013, 11:58 AM

A Santa at NASA has won top spot at this years National Palindrome Awards.

**slisse** · December 27th, 2013, 12:48 PM

The couple had split-up a few months ago, but still remained good friends, which worked out pretty good, since they lived in the same apartment building.

The man slipped on the ice and broke his arm.

He met his ex in the elevator and she asked if there was anything she could do to help.

He said, "Well, if it's not too much trouble, could you help me take a bath?"

She readily agreed and soon was washing him when she saw a gradual erection begin to appear.

"Now isn't that sweet," she cooed. "Look, it still recognizes me."

**rondori** · December 27th, 2013, 03:56 PM

Spelling Bee... Navajo style

At a local Spelling Bee contest, a young Navajo child was asked to spell "City."
The young child gets up, brushes her hair back with her fingers, straightens her dress, stands tall and begins spelling..... uhh...
b....i....r....d.... Upon finishing she says proudly with a smile, repeating the word, "Tsídii."

Note: for non-Navajo speakers, the word tsídii means "bird" in Navajo.

Countryboy79's Native Jokes Page

**retroanalyst** · December 28th, 2013, 06:58 AM

My wife said, "If there's one thing I can't stand it's nit-picking pedantry."

I replied, "That's two things."

dazza2 · December 28th, 2013, 01:29 PM

my mate phillip is in hospital today having his lip taken out...............

from now on we'll just call him phil

December 25th, 2013, 11:18 PM	#7272
seany65 Vintage Member Join Date: May 2009 Posts: 3,651 Thanks: 80,415 Thanked 32,730 Times in 3,527 Posts	A Scottish impressionist is being booed, so he asks the audience why they're booing and one man says: "That was a terrible impression of a cow!" the impressionist asks: "What was wrong with it?" the man says: "You forgot the sound effect." The impressionist thinks for a minute and then says: "Och aye, the moo!" __________________ <-- That's Emer Kenny and I want to be stuck in her front bottom. Quote from electrofreak : I'd rather have questions that can't be answered, than answers that can't be questioned.

December 27th, 2013, 01:05 AM	#7275
seany65 Vintage Member Join Date: May 2009 Posts: 3,651 Thanks: 80,415 Thanked 32,730 Times in 3,527 Posts	A scottish ghost is trying to scare away the new owners of hois acnestral scottish castle, but they just stand there, looking bored, so he asks them why they're not scared, and one says: "You forgot the sound effect!" The scottish ghost thinks for a minute and then says: "Och aye, the Boo!" __________________ <-- That's Emer Kenny and I want to be stuck in her front bottom. Quote from electrofreak : I'd rather have questions that can't be answered, than answers that can't be questioned.

December 27th, 2013, 11:58 AM	#7276
retroanalyst in memoriam Max Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Germany Posts: 3,586 Thanks: 121,979 Thanked 47,461 Times in 3,337 Posts	A Santa at NASA has won top spot at this years National Palindrome Awards. __________________ Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.

December 27th, 2013, 12:48 PM	#7277
slisse Vintage Member Join Date: May 2011 Location: BE Posts: 2,405 Thanks: 32,668 Thanked 72,518 Times in 2,481 Posts	The couple had split-up a few months ago, but still remained good friends, which worked out pretty good, since they lived in the same apartment building. The man slipped on the ice and broke his arm. He met his ex in the elevator and she asked if there was anything she could do to help. He said, "Well, if it's not too much trouble, could you help me take a bath?" She readily agreed and soon was washing him when she saw a gradual erection begin to appear. "Now isn't that sweet," she cooed. "Look, it still recognizes me." __________________ Life is short, so try to make the best of it. If any of my links isn't working, please send me a PM so I can fix it. Thank you.

December 27th, 2013, 03:56 PM	#7278
rondori Vintage Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: New Mexico Posts: 561 Thanks: 36,148 Thanked 14,025 Times in 536 Posts	Spelling Bee... Navajo style At a local Spelling Bee contest, a young Navajo child was asked to spell "City." The young child gets up, brushes her hair back with her fingers, straightens her dress, stands tall and begins spelling..... uhh... b....i....r....d.... Upon finishing she says proudly with a smile, repeating the word, "Tsídii." Note: for non-Navajo speakers, the word tsídii means "bird" in Navajo. Countryboy79's Native Jokes Page __________________ I'm OK, you're UKE: all cultures are multicultural, all races are multiracial. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

December 25th, 2013, 05:47 PM	#7271
dazza2 Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: UK Posts: 192 Thanks: 6,564 Thanked 2,853 Times in 189 Posts	Gents, not a funny but happy christmas to you all, here's to another 12 months of absolute shite jokes

December 26th, 2013, 10:47 AM	#7273
gedly Veteran Member Join Date: May 2007 Posts: 3,234 Thanks: 19,879 Thanked 69,307 Times in 3,171 Posts	My wife said to me, "Aww sweetie, these outfits you got me make me look so sexy and a bit slutty". I reply "Yeah, now go out to work".

December 26th, 2013, 10:51 AM	#7274
jjcanada Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 441 Thanks: 13,618 Thanked 3,375 Times in 380 Posts	Ques: How do you get down from an elephant? Ans: You don't -- you get down from a duck.

December 28th, 2013, 06:58 AM	#7279
retroanalyst in memoriam Max Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Germany Posts: 3,586 Thanks: 121,979 Thanked 47,461 Times in 3,337 Posts	My wife said, "If there's one thing I can't stand it's nit-picking pedantry." I replied, "That's two things." __________________ Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.

December 28th, 2013, 01:29 PM	#7280
dazza2 Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: UK Posts: 192 Thanks: 6,564 Thanked 2,853 Times in 189 Posts	my mate phillip is in hospital today having his lip taken out............... from now on we'll just call him phil

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