Post your corny jokes

[ruffroundedges]

- A clone trooper walks into a pub and asks the barman, “Hey, have you seen my brother?”
“I dunno,” says the barman, “What does he look like?”

- Luke and Obi-Wan walk into a Chinese restaurant. Ten minutes into the meal, Luke’s still having trouble with the chopsticks, dropping food everywhere. Obi-Wan finally snaps, “Use the forks, Luke.”

- Q: Which website did Chewbacca get arrested for creating?
A: Wookieleaks

- Q: Which program do Jedi use to open PDF files?
A: Adobe Wan Kenobi

- An Ewok strolls into a bar and says to the bartender, “I’ll have a whisky and …… soda.”
The bartender says, “Sure thing—but why the little pause?”
“Dunno,” says the Ewok. “I’ve had them all my life.”

[bloke57]

Originally Posted by ruffroundedges

- Luke and Obi-Wan walk into a Chinese restaurant. Ten minutes into the meal, Luke’s still having trouble with the chopsticks, dropping food everywhere. Obi-Wan finally snaps, “Use the forks, Luke.”

In an adjoining restaurant, Darth Vader is unimpressed with his undercooked burger.

He prefers them a bit on the dark side.

[gedly]

So I asked my neighbour's kids, "Would you like some sweets and biscuits?". This boy says, "Will we have to suck your cock or take it up the arse for them?". So I say to his mum, "Does he always speak like this?"

[ruffroundedges]

- The trucker stopped to picked up the hitchhiker girl in short shorts. “Say, what’s your name, mister? ” she inquired, after she climbed up in the truck. “It’s Snow, Roy Snow,” he answered, “and what’s yours? “I’m June, June Hansen,” she said. “Hey, why do you keep sizing me up with those sidelong glances? ” she challenged the trucker some miles down the road. “Can you imagine what it might be like,” he countered with a question of his own, “Having eight inches of Snow in June? ”

- Trucker would amuse himself by running over lawyers. Whenever he saw a lawyer walking down the side of the road he would swerve to hit him, enjoy the load, satisfying “THUMP”, and then swerve back onto the road.

One day, as the truck driver was driving along he saw a priest hitchhiking. He thought he would do a good turn and pulled the truck over. He asked the priest, “Where are you going, Father?” “I’m going to the church 5 miles down the road,” replied the priest. “No problem, Father! I’ll give you a lift. Climb in the truck.”

The happy priest climbed into the passenger seat and the truck driver continued down the road. Suddenly the truck driver saw a lawyer walking down the road and instinctively he swerved to hit him. But then he remembered there was a priest in the truck with him, so at the last minute he swerved back away, narrowly missing the lawyer.

However even though he was certain he missed the lawyer, he still heard a loud “THUD”. Not understanding where the noise came from he glanced in his mirrors and when he didn’t see anything, he turned to the priest and said, “I’m sorry Father. I almost hit that lawyer.”

“I know”, replied the priest. “Lucky I got him with the door!”

[effCup]

Originally Posted by ruffroundedges

Whenever he saw a lawyer walking down the side of the road he would swerve to hit him

I know there aren't many female priests, but surely there are some female lawyers?

... not advocating hitting them with anything, not even truck doors.

[ruffroundedges]

- Confucious say, "Is good for girl to meet boy in park but is better for boy to park meat in girl."

[mrfixit]

[gedly]

My doctor has just told me that I have a cholesterol level of 8.5 . I almost had a heart attack.

[bp666]

I saw a fortune teller the other day. She told me I would come into some money.

Last night I banged a girl called Penny.

[ruffroundedges]

- There once was a blonde who had always heard about ice fishing, so one day she tried it. She went to an icy area, cut a hole, and started fishing. All of a sudden, she hears a voice. "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!" She ignores it and moves to another area, cutting a hole, and beginning to fish again. Again she hears the booming voice. "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!!" She is starting to get freaked out now. "Lord? Is that you?" she asks. In reply she hears, "NO, THIS IS THE RINK MANAGER!"

- I finally told my girlfriend that I Love Her. She text backing saying " I luv u2" I was gutted. I thought what does Bono have that I don't

- After we had sex, she walked funny for a week. That's how hard she was laughing.