Why are you the way you are ?

[dbailey]

I'm a lazy go-getter. I am also a reluctant leader and progressive and yet nostalgic in my views.

Mrs db say that I am an old git and a moaner and grumpy, but you see that I want to be so much more.

I want to make the world a better place, I want to fight injustice and take it from the man, I want to be admired for what I have have done to help my fellow man, I want to make a difference, and yet I am weak, I am lazy, I dont always do the right thing.

I should be in a position now where I can make things better, but I hadnt the drive or the politca nowledge when I was a young man,

'no one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun'

So here I am, 14 mentally, 50 chronologically, wondering what I can achieve at my age and still bleeding days away doing my job, coming home, doing chores, and spending bloody hours on the internet.

....is that the sort of thing you were asking for GS?

[nevermind]

Originally Posted by GreenSkull

Just don't ask me to repeat myself as i HATE doing so

No you don't have to repeat yourself, i do understand...
It took me about half an hour to read that story.
By the way, Tiny Pic removed your gif on that post, don't tell me
they removed it without your permission..

Why are you the way you are..?

Beats me, have to ask my wife, she knows more about me than i do.
That's what she thinks..!!! I just "carpe diem", nothing more nothing less.
Cannot say i achieved much in life.
I'm just nevermind, but that's my nickname. not gonna write down my
real name ofcourse. but here's a photo of me, if that will do..




.

[MaxJoker]

Originally Posted by nevermind

By the way, Tiny Pic removed your gif on that post, don't tell me
they removed it without your permission..

Hello Mr President Sir , may i be the first (And only one aside from the voices in your head ) to congratulate you on the marvelous job you did
Earlier today .
Since i understand you finally managed to put your shoes on the correct feet unaided

Yeah have binned the gif now , was never happy with it anyway ( Typical).
I've noticed ******* are tending to remove ones i didn't blend myself . Figures , i promote their reliability and then they start becoming unreliable

Originally Posted by dbailey

I'm a lazy go-getter. I am also a reluctant leader and progressive and yet nostalgic in my views.
Mrs db say that I am an old git and a moaner and grumpy, but you see that I want to be so much more.
I want to make the world a better place, I want to fight injustice and take it from the man, I want to be admired for what I have have done to help my fellow man, I want to make a difference, and yet I am weak, I am lazy, I don't always do the right thing.
I should be in a position now where I can make things better, but I had'nt the drive or the political knowledge when I was a young man,
'no one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun'
So here I am, 14 mentally, 50 chronologically, wondering what I can achieve at my age and still bleeding days away doing my job, coming home, doing chores, and spending bloody hours on the Internet.
....is that the sort of thing you were asking for GS?

That was spot on and then some DB

Also think we`re all weak and lazy in our own ways . Because hands up who among us doesn't take the easier option if it`s presented ?.
Understand what you mean about knowing you're not doing what you really want to with your life . Not so sure if that's so much a lack of drive though or a lack of encouragement when younger ?.

Man alive parents can totally screw us up , they should have to apply for a license before having us

They can twist the original nature we were born with in ways that then complicate our lives forever

I know for a fact i`m a socialite trapped in the body of a loner , a gregarious hermit if you will .Half of me wants to go up and shake that strangers hand , yet the other half does whatever it takes not to even catch their eye.

Think that has a lot to do with how i grew up . Since back when i was little my parents ran a restaurant . Well my mother did , in fact she did everything .Bought and cooked the food , even did the accountants etc . While good old bottle guzzling pa simply worked hard at skimming the takings to enable several local bookies to retire early.
The business took up most of my mothers time , and when she wasn't working she was telling little infant me what a horrible life she had.Since she was a qualified nurse who'd left that profession to help her shit headed no nothing won't work for anybody else husband out. It was back in the late seventies then and i don't think anyone had invented childcare . So i was continually being either left with the mothers of waitresses who worked at the restaurant , although so many left because daddy (Who was always either front of house laughing and boozing , or storming in the kitchen swearing like he was being sponsored to do so) made their lives pretty miserable . Since he's a bully , well to women who won't stand up to him anyway.

Oh that reminds me

" Mother i`m not responsible for how your life turned out , we all make decisions in life , you made your's , and made the same ones for twenty five years , they were all wrong , i begged you when i was barely out of short pants to leave that retarded selfish sod and go back to nursing , you didn't , so deal with it ! "


Phew thats' better

Anyway so i was left each afternoon and evening usually with a complete stranger , and if there was nobody available they'd simply lock me up in the house that really was a storeroom for supplies and which was very close to the Restaurant (So close that on very quiet nights if i cupped my hand to my ear i could hear my charming father shouting abuse at my mother ) .

Yes parental love at it's finest . Imprison your child for years ,and let the only visits he gets be ones from siblings 15+ years older than him who both resent the hell out of his age and cuteness.
Thankfully by the time i was about twelve i learned to climb out of the back bedroom window which was always unlocked and scale down forty or so feet.

Guess i began my fatalistic style right there and then , since whenever i did dangerous things it was like " Well if i fall then i fall ,if i don't then i obviously wasn't meant to "

An ex GF of mine said that my physical risk taking actions (Which only properly really stopped three years ago) were a sign of me trying to get my parents attention ?.

But i doubt it

Although when in Montserrat with the school i did split off from the group , climb through and onto the battlements and come out on a sloping angle just in front of the other tourists who were safely behind a wire fence . Much hilarity ensured as some people panicked that i`d slip and fall several hundred feet into the trees below. Mind you they didn't panic as much as the teacher leading our miserable band who thought he`d lose his job if people back home found out.

Think i might have done that for attention ?, then again knowing me i probably just wanted a clearer view from the castle walls

No i know why i did the many things i did , it's because if i survived them intact i then convinced myself i must be on the right path . That something out there was watching over me . Maybe like a parent should ?.

Hey it's official , i`m crazy !

But at least honest , so not all bad i guess

[TCO95]

A couple of good books on achieving zen and relieving depression.

http://vintage-erotica-forum.com/sho...&postcount=161

Who says I'm callous and uncaring?

[DTravel]

I am the product of my life experiences. If the universe doesn't like the result, it should have given me different experiences.

[anklebiter]

Two things shaped me:

An alcoholic abusive father early in life who, by the time I was six, completely rejected me.

I always had him as a guiding light.An example. From early on, I saw his behavior as the opposite of what to do, and how to act.It was a stinging blow for my mom to say "you're acting like your dad".
He changed, and we resolved our issues, but growing up, he helped me by being the "anit-hero"

Before the Army, I had a job in the service industry.A delivery guy.People treated me as a complete moron, who existed to serve them, and rarely did I get an ounce of respect.
After work, I taught Shaolin Kempo (karate) as a second job, and hobby.There, people treated me like a god, or sucked up, or gave me more credit than I deserved.
Through this, I found perspective.Daily, I was given less, and given more.It was this contrast I realized, people's opinions don't matter.my opinion matters.If I'm true to myself, and those I love, I'm a successful man.

I am who I am because I have high standards, and a sacred code of honor, and I refuse to let myself down.

[MaxJoker]

Originally Posted by DTravel

I am the product of my life experiences. If the universe doesn't like the result, it should have given me different experiences.

Ah the universe fair point

But what if nobody else likes the result either

[MaxJoker]

Originally Posted by anklebiter

Two things shaped me:

An alcoholic abusive father early in life who, by the time I was six, completely rejected me.

I always had him as a guiding light.An example. From early on, I saw his behavior as the opposite of what to do, and how to act.It was a stinging blow for my mom to say "you're acting like your dad".
He changed, and we resolved our issues, but growing up, he helped me by being the "anit-hero"

Before the Army, I had a job in the service industry.A delivery guy.People treated me as a complete moron, who existed to serve them, and rarely did I get an ounce of respect.
After work, I taught Shaolin Kempo (karate) as a second job, and hobby.There, people treated me like a god, or sucked up, or gave me more credit than I deserved.
Through this, I found perspective.Daily, I was given less, and given more.It was this contrast I realized, people's opinions don't matter.my opinion matters.If I'm true to myself, and those I love, I'm a successful man.

I am who I am because I have high standards, and a sacred code of honor, and I refuse to let myself down.

Bloody hell the contributions to this thread have been terrific , and this is no exception

Also it's great to know your father changed and you've been able to work through the past . For me though it's too late ,my dads in his late seventies now and in predictable (Given his lifestyle) seriously bad health.

It's too late because even with age and bad health he's still the same self serving bastard he always was . But even if he wasn't and suddenly had a turn around it'd be too late for me . A father should be one from the moment we're born and need one , not when he's on his last legs and wanting some cash to go see Las Vegas before he dies . Well that's what my sister (Getting ever closer to mid fifties and still a shit stirrer) told my mother anyway.

Not that i believe her (Sis that is) as she said it

A bit like you my dad gave me one thing albeit by accident , he showed me how not to behave . Although i take after my mother personality wise anyway really , well except for the depressions as i may get down over things at times but the moments always fleeting.
Still i take after her alright , so much so i even changed my surname to her`s a few years back. Not that i told her or any of them .Mind it'll never come up as a problem , what are they going to get confused next time they send me a nice cheque for my birthday or something , yeah right

[Estreeter]

Great thread idea GS
Umm, I thought about this for a whole 5 seconds and can truly blame my parents, teachers, religious leaders and friends for the way I am and turned out. I went and did exactly what they didn't want me to do
Had they all told me too go and and do the wrong things, I'm sure I'd be doing the right things. I just don't like being told what to do, never have and never will.

[Mal Hombre]

Not for the first time,I've realised that My life is/was pretty good compred to some on this here forum,so I guess I'm just naturally opinionated,lazy and pedantic.That's the way I am and tell the truth I quite like it.