Post your corny jokes - Page 1369

dazza2 · August 18th, 2018, 01:33 PM

Bloody auto-correct on my P.C.!!

Sent my wife a message 'do you want to go for a wank down by the river...'

i meant canal

**ball7** · August 18th, 2018, 10:26 PM

ICE is planing to sue and deport ICE T

**mrfixit** · August 19th, 2018, 12:22 AM

Fifty-four years ago, Elmer Harrison, a Montana mountain man, was drafted by the US Army.
On his first day in basic training, the Army issued him with a comb. That afternoon, the Army barber sheared off all of Elmer’s hair.
On his second day, the Army issued him with a toothbrush. That afternoon, the Army dentist extracted seven of Elmer’s teeth.
On the third day, the Army issued him with a jock-strap.
The US Army has been looking for Elmer for fifty-four years.

**ball7** · August 19th, 2018, 12:31 AM

A man's best friend is his cock
As it tells him when to get up in the morning

A woman that has been married more than once is like a used car
You don't know how far she has gone

Yesterday, Putin was visited by an alien from the planet Sanu
The day before he had arrived at the white house and said to Trump "Take me to your leader"

**jafad** · August 19th, 2018, 06:06 AM

A dog goes into a Job Centre and says, "Excuse me? Have you got any jobs going?"

The man behind the counter says "Fuck me! You're a talking Dog!? You should join the circus!"

The Dog replies, "Why? What do they need a plumber for?"

**photoflex** · August 19th, 2018, 06:28 AM

The day Microsoft makes something that doesn't suck is probably the day they start making vacuum cleaners.

**PJayBr** · August 19th, 2018, 10:37 AM

One for the Brits of a certain age.....

There's a Haircut 100 concert on Sky's Love channel at the moment. If you've missed the start you can catch it on Love + 1

**PJayBr** · August 19th, 2018, 10:59 AM

Most people have 206 bones in their body but I have nearly 300. Yes, kippers for breakfast again!

**gedly** · August 19th, 2018, 11:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PJayBr

One for the Brits of a certain age.....

There's a Haircut 100 concert on Sky's Love channel at the moment. If you've missed the start you can catch it on Love + 1

I'll Sky+ it and have a Fantastic Day watching it later.

**mrfixit** · August 19th, 2018, 07:11 PM

August 19th, 2018, 12:22 AM	#13683
mrfixit Vintage Member Join Date: May 2009 Location: Elm Street Posts: 9,401 Thanks: 165,774 Thanked 114,805 Times in 9,416 Posts	Fifty-four years ago, Elmer Harrison, a Montana mountain man, was drafted by the US Army. On his first day in basic training, the Army issued him with a comb. That afternoon, the Army barber sheared off all of Elmer’s hair. On his second day, the Army issued him with a toothbrush. That afternoon, the Army dentist extracted seven of Elmer’s teeth. On the third day, the Army issued him with a jock-strap. The US Army has been looking for Elmer for fifty-four years. __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Where's my Illudium PU-36 Explosive Space Modulator?

August 19th, 2018, 06:28 AM	#13686
photoflex Veteran Member Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Location: Location Posts: 3,583 Thanks: 37,920 Thanked 127,768 Times in 3,570 Posts	The day Microsoft makes something that doesn't suck is probably the day they start making vacuum cleaners. __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. I love your thanks, but please thank the original posters first.

August 19th, 2018, 10:37 AM	#13687
PJayBr Vintage Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: In front of my PC with my cock in my hand...... Posts: 1,309 Thanks: 41,569 Thanked 13,685 Times in 1,280 Posts	One for the Brits of a certain age..... There's a Haircut 100 concert on Sky's Love channel at the moment. If you've missed the start you can catch it on Love + 1 Last edited by PJayBr; August 19th, 2018 at 10:59 AM..

August 19th, 2018, 10:59 AM	#13688
PJayBr Vintage Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: In front of my PC with my cock in my hand...... Posts: 1,309 Thanks: 41,569 Thanked 13,685 Times in 1,280 Posts	Most people have 206 bones in their body but I have nearly 300. Yes, kippers for breakfast again! Last edited by PJayBr; August 19th, 2018 at 11:48 AM..

August 19th, 2018, 07:11 PM	#13690
mrfixit Vintage Member Join Date: May 2009 Location: Elm Street Posts: 9,401 Thanks: 165,774 Thanked 114,805 Times in 9,416 Posts	__________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Where's my Illudium PU-36 Explosive Space Modulator?

August 18th, 2018, 01:33 PM	#13681
dazza2 Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: UK Posts: 192 Thanks: 6,564 Thanked 2,853 Times in 189 Posts	Bloody auto-correct on my P.C.!! Sent my wife a message 'do you want to go for a wank down by the river...' i meant canal

August 18th, 2018, 10:26 PM	#13682
ball7 Veteran Member Join Date: Jul 2013 Location: MIA Posts: 15,690 Thanks: 66,280 Thanked 209,976 Times in 15,730 Posts	ICE is planing to sue and deport ICE T

August 19th, 2018, 12:31 AM	#13684
ball7 Veteran Member Join Date: Jul 2013 Location: MIA Posts: 15,690 Thanks: 66,280 Thanked 209,976 Times in 15,730 Posts	A man's best friend is his cock As it tells him when to get up in the morning A woman that has been married more than once is like a used car You don't know how far she has gone Yesterday, Putin was visited by an alien from the planet Sanu The day before he had arrived at the white house and said to Trump "Take me to your leader"

August 19th, 2018, 06:06 AM	#13685
jafad Vintage Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Posts: 547 Thanks: 740 Thanked 10,278 Times in 547 Posts	A dog goes into a Job Centre and says, "Excuse me? Have you got any jobs going?" The man behind the counter says "Fuck me! You're a talking Dog!? You should join the circus!" The Dog replies, "Why? What do they need a plumber for?"

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