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May 1st, 2017, 12:28 PM | #3421 | |
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Fortunately for us, before that saga begins, your series is cancelled. I wish I was Raffles, Gentleman Thief and Ladies Man Extraordinaire. |
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May 1st, 2017, 09:42 PM | #3422 |
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I wish I was Raffles, Gentleman Thief and Ladies Man Extraordinaire.
Granted. But you lose half your fortune at the baccarat table in the Grand Casino in Monte Carlo. You console yourself by picking up 5 beautiful young women at the casino bar. You spend two days in bed with all 5 of them, but within a couple of days you aren't feeling so well. You go to your doctor and learn you have contracted HIV, Syphilis, Gonnorhea, Hepatitis C, and HPV. Each girl carried a different disease. I wish I was 21 again, and the best baseball player in the world. Last edited by bigtrain45; May 1st, 2017 at 09:44 PM.. Reason: add wish |
May 1st, 2017, 09:56 PM | #3423 |
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Granted. You're 21 years old and the best baseball player in the world of 63,000,000 years ago. No baseball, just dinosaurs who chase you down and gobble you up!
I wish I could go back in time and prevent John F. Kennedy from being assassinated. What would the world look like now? |
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May 2nd, 2017, 01:42 PM | #3424 |
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I wish I could go back in time and prevent John F. Kennedy from being assassinated. What would the world look like now?
Granted. Unfortunately, JFK's involvement in the coup that took down President Diem in Viet-Nam comes out, and he is seen and photographed with Ann-Margret leaving the Chateau Marmont in LA, which costs him the election in 1964. Barry Goldwater becomes President, escalates the war in Viet-Nam, drops a nuke on Hanoi, leading to a nuclear exchange with the Russians, and the complete destruction of civilization as we know it. I wish I could spend a weekend with this woman. |
May 4th, 2017, 10:32 PM | #3425 |
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Wish granted. You are elated that you are going to spend a night with pornstar Anna Belle, but there is something that you don't know about her. She gets off sticking weird things into her cooter. When she comes to your apartment and undresses she wants you to stick you hand and arm as far as it will go up her pu...y. You say ok. She is moaning and groaning as she humps on your arm, but then you want to take it out and she suddenly gets mad then she gets crazy. She tightens her cooter muscles and you can't remove your arm. Then your arm starts to hurt and you see blood running down your arm. You meanwhile are pulling at your arm as hard as you can but it won't budge. Then Anna punches you in the face and you can't believe how hard it was. You nose is bleeding and your lip is bleeding and bruised. Anna just laughs and continues to hump your arm. Then she picks you up and slams you into the wall. You lose consciousness.
When you wake up you start too scream, because you notice that she cut your arm off and took it with her. You're running around your place and all the while blood is shooting out of your stump. You run out of your apartment and try to run down the stairs but trip and fall all the way down a hundred steps and break your neck. I wish I only could eat desserts. I would never have to cook again. |
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May 4th, 2017, 11:30 PM | #3426 |
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My Gawd man .... That's one bizzar imagination you have!
Granted:
You can survive on only desserts but they are desserts baked and prepared by ME. You soon become perpetually drunk and develop type 2 diabetes. As you stumble around the apartment you gash your shin open on the coffee table, gangrene sets in fast due to the poor blood flow in the femoral vein and the pain is intense. You make your way down to the parking area to drive your self to Emerg. But you soon find your car has been vandalized by The Poopy Head Gang. In a state of drunken panic, you attempt to drive the car as it is and subsequently crash into a lamp post. The police arrive to find you limping staggerdly (It's a word now!) around in the street, yelling obscenities about cream puffed eclairs and crazy ballcap wearing, bearded truck driving dessert chefs. You spend the rest of your days in the psychiatric ward; bunny wrapped for your own protection. We mourn. I wish I could control The Force like Luke Skywalker.
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May 5th, 2017, 10:02 AM | #3427 |
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Wish granted.
But jedi 's specific diet makes you fell crazy. You finish happy , dark force is your now your home. VEF, alcohol, pizza, burgers... Hey!! that's a good finishing story! I wish I could control The Force like Vador. |
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May 5th, 2017, 10:06 AM | #3428 |
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Wish granted. You grab a police officer's heart with your mind when you get stopped for speeding. Unfortunately you don't notice his partner, who ventilates your skull with a load of buckshot while you are busy with his compadre.
I wish that the dog lady who lives on my street would feel a strange compulsion to pick up her dog's poop and put it in her purse instead of leaving it whenever her dog leaves one of his special gifts on my lawn.
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May 6th, 2017, 10:59 PM | #3429 | |
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I wish I had a porn version of The Donna Reed show starring Donna Reed as she looked back then when I was a horny fourteen year old. |
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May 9th, 2017, 06:15 PM | #3430 | |
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Quote:
You watch it then proceed to gouge out your eyes with a spork. I wish I had a shrubbery.
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