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June 26th, 2017, 05:47 PM | #12461 |
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Join Date: Dec 2016
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My wife suggested I should get myself a penis enlarger. So I did. She's 21 and her name is Sophia.
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June 27th, 2017, 01:19 PM | #12462 |
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Thanked 701 Times in 50 Posts
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I went to a Robbie Williams concert last night,I was sitting next to a Insurance Salesman he was very annoying,,,Cos through it all he offered me Protection,,,,
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June 27th, 2017, 08:22 PM | #12463 |
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Thanked 14,213 Times in 1,078 Posts
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A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a pint...and a mop.
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June 27th, 2017, 08:47 PM | #12464 |
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Location: Unaffordable housing
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Thanked 68,928 Times in 4,921 Posts
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The Following 16 Users Say Thank You to bloke57 For This Useful Post: |
June 27th, 2017, 09:24 PM | #12465 |
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Clinging to the rim of a crater on the dark side of Uranus.
Posts: 1,065
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Thanked 11,052 Times in 1,042 Posts
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The Following 15 Users Say Thank You to gmcbee For This Useful Post: |
June 27th, 2017, 10:32 PM | #12466 |
Vintage Member
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How to speak Irish:
Whale Oil Beef Hooked Say them all quickly. |
The Following 11 Users Say Thank You to anothercustom For This Useful Post: |
June 28th, 2017, 12:37 PM | #12467 |
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Location: U.K
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"Uri Geller. Now there's a man surprisingly hard to stab!"
(Gary Delaney). |
The Following 13 Users Say Thank You to ManofKent For This Useful Post: | bloke57, bp666, captpike, effCup, gedly, jomama, MaxJoker, rewbear, SpEffects, Tester2010, trailmaster, tygrkhat40, WURZ |
June 28th, 2017, 10:18 PM | #12468 |
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Life is like a box of chocolates. It doesn't last long if you're a fat bastard.
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June 29th, 2017, 01:32 PM | #12469 |
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- Hello! Gordon's Pizza?
- No sir, it is Google Pizza. - So, I have the wrong number? - No sir, Google bought Gordon's Pizza. - OK. Take my order please... - Well sir, you want the usual? - The usual? How do you know me? - According to your caller ID, the last 12 times, you ordered pizza with cheese, sausage, thick crust ... - OK! OK! That's it. - Sir, may I suggest to you this time ricotta cheese, arugula with sun-dried tomatoes? - No, I hate vegetables. - But your cholesterol is high! - How do you know? - Through the Lab subscriber's guide. We have the results of your blood tests for the last 7 years. - Okay, but I want my regular pizza, I already take medicine. - But sir, you have not taken your medicine regularly. Four months ago, you only purchased a box with 30 tablets at DrugSale Network. - I bought more from another drugstore. - It is not showing on your credit card. - I paid in cash. - But you did not withdraw that much cash according to your bank statement. - I have other sources of cash. - This is not showing on your last Income-Tax return, unless you got it from an undeclared source. - WHAT THE HELL? Enough! I'm sick of Google, FaceBook, Twitter, WhatsApp. I'm going to an Island without Wi-Fi or internet. Where there are no cell phones or satellites to spy on me. - I understand sir, but you need to renew your passport, as it has expired 5 weeks ago!
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June 29th, 2017, 11:30 PM | #12470 |
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I once had a girlfriend...
BTW Have you seen her, I think she might have escaped from my cellar. |
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