Stupid movie cliches and impossibilities

[Aitken Bonar]

Two war movie axioms:

German officers are always being fitted for new uniforms by their tailors.
Every aircraft that dives seems to have a Jericho siren, even when they're not Stukas.

Two Star Trek axioms:

All aliens are heterosexual.
You can hide a starship over the magnetic poles of a planet - good thing the bad guys just don't look out the window.

[tabler]

Originally Posted by Sam Spade

Add to that cars that explode at the merest touch, and tyres that squeal when they go around corners....on sand???

Oh and dont forget Sam, there has to be some boxes to knock over whilste the tyres are squealing!

[gmcbee]

Originally Posted by tabler

Oh and dont forget Sam, there has to be some boxes to knock over whilste the tyres are squealing!

Or a fruit stand on the sidewalk!!

[jangler3]

One of the stupidest things I saw in a movie was when, On Noah's Ark (made for TV) The scene where all the animals are walking into the Ark, They actually had lobsters going onto the boat... Maybe they were dinner.....why not? get some extra food along the way, since they are walking right up to you.

[edward126]

Originally Posted by maxedout

Except for James Stewart in that film... now what was it called... oh yes, "Vertigo".

Yeh OK maxedout i totally walked into that one didn't I

[meatpuppet]

Originally Posted by gmcbee

Another thing about Trek: every single damn thing on the ship beeps or whistles or whooshes or clicks or chimes. You'd think they'd learn how to turn the sounds off by the 23rd century, eh? Enough to drive a Vulcan crazy.

StarFleet equipment is all made by Microsoft. Ding! "You appear to be trying to escape a battlefleet..." says the holographic talking paperclip.

Originally Posted by brianwp

Impossibilities...about everything in "Shoot em Up", or "Transporter".

Dear God, "Transporter" hurt my brain with its concentrated idiocy. It takes a lot to force me to turn off a film in which the divine Shu Qi is walking around in her smalls, but....

And how about all those movies where the lead male gets out of bed after the "tasteful" love scene (you know, one of those ones where the lass keeps adjusting the bedclothes while they're shagging to stop anyone seeing anything) and he's still wearing his underpants.

I just finished watching the "anniversary" Edition of Star Wars. In the scene where the Imperial Storm Troopers are tracking C3PO and R2D2 there's all kinds of vehicles flying overhead but a couple of them are riding on these giant lizard looking animals!LOL Also in Return of the Jedi how come those "speeders" can race through the forest like a bat out of hell but can only get three of four feet off of the ground?!:>)

[videodrome]

I think they overuse the Nazi plot way too much, even in movies that have nothing to do with WW2, they will just place some Nazi connection for apparently no reason, does nothing to add to the plot. A few movies that come to mind are "American Beauty", scene where he shows off some Nazi dinner plates (who cares)... and recently there was "Inside Man" a bank robbery, with a Nazi twist at the end about someones hidden past (why couldn't they just make it about money). There are probably a million instances of this, just think of a movie where Nazis are mentioned and has nothing to do with the plot. I think the Nazi and themes are being way overused, movie after movie of ridiculous garbage.

Matter of fact, with all the buses ,billboards and advertisements lately you would almost think you are in Nazi Germany with a Swasticas around every corner.

[edward126]

There is one thing that really makes me laugh. It's not really any cliches or a storyline impossibility. It's just that if you have spent $40-50-60 million on a huge blockbusting film, why are there still scenes left in after all the editing etc like:-
The gun's in his lefthand (camera cuts away comes back) now it's in his righthand (camera cuts away comes back) now it's back to his lefthand.
The cigar that lasts for ever with the ash getting longer or shorther as the camera cuts away and comes back.
The never ending glass of water that someone is drinking.

Two scene comes to mind from Braveheart just after Mel gives his Freedom speech and rides off with the Barons to "pick a fight" with the English commander who then offers them terms of surrender. The commander laughs and says that nobody has withstood a full calvary charge in over 200 yrs.
Mel has a secret weapon, the tree brances that are sharpened to a point. As the horses charge towards the Scottish lines he tells them to "hold" a number of times, as the camera swings between the charge and the Scottish lines there is a number of shots of them patiently waiting for the horses to get near enough for them to use the wooden stakes, interlaced in these shots are other shots of them with the stakes already raised.

After the charge scene when the Scottish rush at the English. Mel is confused as what he wants to fight with. He runs at them with an axe, a sword, an axe again and i think ends up with a sword in his hands.

I don't understand haow some editors can still be in work.

[gmcbee]

Originally Posted by videodrome

..."American Beauty", scene where he shows off some Nazi dinner plates (who cares)...

I think that's scene's an important part of the character development, particularly that of Col. Frank Fitts.