Post your corny jokes - Page 1484

**fatrat1** · June 17th, 2019, 07:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Silklover

Satisfaction (I can´t get no), though he even went that far to suggest to let's spend the night together.

Jokes getting a bit thin so this will be "The Last Time" I will post on this thread.

**mrfixit** · June 18th, 2019, 05:55 AM

**trailmaster** · June 18th, 2019, 12:47 PM

A guy wakes up one morning with a hangover. "Honey, I know I made a fool out of myself at the party last night, so tell me what I did."
"You got in an argument with your boss."
"Well, piss on him!!!" said the man.
"You did. He fired you."
"Well, screw him!"
"I did." said the wife. "You're back to work on Monday."

**trailmaster** · June 19th, 2019, 12:52 PM

Little Johnny walked in one day on his daddy in the bathroom. He asked his father what that was hanging between his legs. His father replied that it was the perfect penis. The next day at school, Johnny pulled his pants down in front of his classmates.
"What's that?" asked Jenny.
"Well," said Johnny, "if it was about 3 inches smaller, it would be the perfect penis."

MaxJoker · June 19th, 2019, 03:10 PM

Went to see my friends new house today ,

Said to make myself at home and treat the place as my own ,

So threw him out ,

Hate having visitors.

**gedly** · June 19th, 2019, 10:16 PM

I once met the world's most boring man.
Now that was interesting.

**Sir Honkers** · June 19th, 2019, 11:32 PM

A man sits down in a restaurant and orders a bowl of chilli.
The waitress says, "I'm sorry, but that man at the next table got the last bowl".
The man looks over and sees that the other diner has finished his meal, but the bowl of chilli is still full. He asks, "Are you going to eat that chilli?"
The other man says, "No. Help yourself".
He takes the bowl of chilli and starts to eat. When he gets about half way down, his spoon hits something. He looks down sees a dead mouse and immediately pukes all the chilli back into the bowl.
The other man nods and says, "Yeah, that's about as far as I got, too".

**trailmaster** · June 20th, 2019, 01:20 PM

A teacher asks her class, "What do you want to be when you grow up?"
Little Johnny says "I wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best bitch with me, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Hawaii, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel to Europe, an Infinite Visa card and to make love to her three times a day".
The teacher , shocked, and not knowing what to do with the bad behavior of the child, decides not to give importance to what he said and then continues the lesson.

"And you Susie?" the teacher asks.
Susie says "I wanna be Johnny's bitch."

MaxJoker · June 20th, 2019, 01:41 PM

A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer ,

Than the men who mention it.

**les1917lie** · June 21st, 2019, 09:05 AM

What's the best present to buy a woman?

A jumper: if it's too large, she'll be flattered, if it's too small, she'll wear it anyway...

June 18th, 2019, 05:55 AM	#14832
mrfixit Vintage Member Join Date: May 2009 Location: Elm Street Posts: 9,401 Thanks: 166,070 Thanked 114,861 Times in 9,416 Posts	__________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Where's my Illudium PU-36 Explosive Space Modulator?

June 19th, 2019, 03:10 PM	#14835
MaxJoker Beloved Brother Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19 Posts: 69,106 Thanks: 372,713 Thanked 987,905 Times in 69,067 Posts	Went to see my friends new house today , Said to make myself at home and treat the place as my own , So threw him out , Hate having visitors. __________________ My hypocrisy only goes so To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

June 20th, 2019, 01:41 PM	#14839
MaxJoker Beloved Brother Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19 Posts: 69,106 Thanks: 372,713 Thanked 987,905 Times in 69,067 Posts	A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer , Than the men who mention it. __________________ My hypocrisy only goes so To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

June 18th, 2019, 12:47 PM	#14833
trailmaster Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2013 Location: Chicago, Illinois, USA Posts: 59,944 Thanks: 1,329,519 Thanked 707,665 Times in 60,117 Posts	A guy wakes up one morning with a hangover. "Honey, I know I made a fool out of myself at the party last night, so tell me what I did." "You got in an argument with your boss." "Well, piss on him!!!" said the man. "You did. He fired you." "Well, screw him!" "I did." said the wife. "You're back to work on Monday."

June 19th, 2019, 12:52 PM	#14834
trailmaster Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2013 Location: Chicago, Illinois, USA Posts: 59,944 Thanks: 1,329,519 Thanked 707,665 Times in 60,117 Posts	Little Johnny walked in one day on his daddy in the bathroom. He asked his father what that was hanging between his legs. His father replied that it was the perfect penis. The next day at school, Johnny pulled his pants down in front of his classmates. "What's that?" asked Jenny. "Well," said Johnny, "if it was about 3 inches smaller, it would be the perfect penis."

June 19th, 2019, 10:16 PM	#14836
gedly Veteran Member Join Date: May 2007 Posts: 3,236 Thanks: 19,906 Thanked 69,349 Times in 3,173 Posts	I once met the world's most boring man. Now that was interesting.

June 19th, 2019, 11:32 PM	#14837
Sir Honkers Veteran Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Land Of Glorious Leader Posts: 30,436 Thanks: 287,480 Thanked 387,190 Times in 30,392 Posts	A man sits down in a restaurant and orders a bowl of chilli. The waitress says, "I'm sorry, but that man at the next table got the last bowl". The man looks over and sees that the other diner has finished his meal, but the bowl of chilli is still full. He asks, "Are you going to eat that chilli?" The other man says, "No. Help yourself". He takes the bowl of chilli and starts to eat. When he gets about half way down, his spoon hits something. He looks down sees a dead mouse and immediately pukes all the chilli back into the bowl. The other man nods and says, "Yeah, that's about as far as I got, too".

June 20th, 2019, 01:20 PM	#14838
trailmaster Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2013 Location: Chicago, Illinois, USA Posts: 59,944 Thanks: 1,329,519 Thanked 707,665 Times in 60,117 Posts	A teacher asks her class, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" Little Johnny says "I wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best bitch with me, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Hawaii, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel to Europe, an Infinite Visa card and to make love to her three times a day". The teacher , shocked, and not knowing what to do with the bad behavior of the child, decides not to give importance to what he said and then continues the lesson. "And you Susie?" the teacher asks. Susie says "I wanna be Johnny's bitch."

June 21st, 2019, 09:05 AM	#14840
les1917lie Vintage Member Join Date: Apr 2007 Posts: 2,405 Thanks: 7,270 Thanked 89,267 Times in 2,405 Posts	What's the best present to buy a woman? A jumper: if it's too large, she'll be flattered, if it's too small, she'll wear it anyway...