Post your corny jokes - Page 1382

**fatrat1** · September 11th, 2018, 01:05 PM

Patient - Doctor Doctor I think I'm invisible.

Doctor - Who said that.

**fatrat1** · September 11th, 2018, 01:05 PM

Patient - Doctor Doctor people keep ignoring me.

Doctor - Next Patient.

MaxJoker · September 11th, 2018, 01:06 PM

Went to see that stage production about puns ,

Turns out it`s basically just a play on words.

**fatrat1** · September 11th, 2018, 01:06 PM

Patient - Doctor Doctor I think I am a bridge.

Doctor - What's come over you.

Patient - Well two cars, a bus & 7 pedestrians.

**fatrat1** · September 11th, 2018, 01:09 PM

Patient - Doctor Doctor I've swallowed a £1 coin.

Doctor - Come and see me next week if there is no change.

**ball7** · September 11th, 2018, 04:15 PM

Unknown Fact... Counting sheep doesn't help people who are excited by sheep.
-By the Unknown Comic

**Greenman** · September 11th, 2018, 04:44 PM

Another Doctor one missed

Doctor! Doctor! I keep thinking I'm a pair of curtains!
Well pull yourself together man!

Tommy Cooper's best ones

I went to the doctor's the other day and I asked him could he give me something for the wind...so he gave me a kite!

I was up in the attic the other day with the wife, dirty, smelly, covered in cobwebs...but she's good with the kids!

My feet are killing me...they keep trying to grab me by the throat!

And one VERY old school biscuit joke
What happened when a fight broke out in the biscuit tin?
The BANDIT, tied up the PENGUIN with a BLUE RIBAND and then made his BREAKAWAY in a TAXI!

**haymarket** · September 11th, 2018, 05:38 PM

"Doctor, I keep thinking I'm a Supermarket"

"How long have you felt like this??"

"Ever since I was Lidl"

**ball7** · September 11th, 2018, 06:16 PM

Last night my grandmother asked for some ice.
So I called ICE and they deported her this evening.

**mrfixit** · September 11th, 2018, 11:52 PM

September 11th, 2018, 01:05 PM	#13811
fatrat1 Veteran Member Join Date: Jul 2016 Posts: 2,709 Thanks: 52,507 Thanked 27,284 Times in 2,642 Posts	Patient - Doctor Doctor I think I'm invisible. Doctor - Who said that. __________________ My Avatar is To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

September 11th, 2018, 01:05 PM	#13812
fatrat1 Veteran Member Join Date: Jul 2016 Posts: 2,709 Thanks: 52,507 Thanked 27,284 Times in 2,642 Posts	Patient - Doctor Doctor people keep ignoring me. Doctor - Next Patient. __________________ My Avatar is To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

September 11th, 2018, 01:06 PM	#13813
MaxJoker Beloved Brother Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19 Posts: 69,106 Thanks: 372,713 Thanked 987,895 Times in 69,067 Posts	Went to see that stage production about puns , Turns out it`s basically just a play on words. __________________ My hypocrisy only goes so To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

September 11th, 2018, 01:06 PM	#13814
fatrat1 Veteran Member Join Date: Jul 2016 Posts: 2,709 Thanks: 52,507 Thanked 27,284 Times in 2,642 Posts	Patient - Doctor Doctor I think I am a bridge. Doctor - What's come over you. Patient - Well two cars, a bus & 7 pedestrians. __________________ My Avatar is To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

September 11th, 2018, 01:09 PM	#13815
fatrat1 Veteran Member Join Date: Jul 2016 Posts: 2,709 Thanks: 52,507 Thanked 27,284 Times in 2,642 Posts	Patient - Doctor Doctor I've swallowed a £1 coin. Doctor - Come and see me next week if there is no change. __________________ My Avatar is To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

September 11th, 2018, 04:15 PM	#13816
ball7 Veteran Member Join Date: Jul 2013 Location: MIA Posts: 15,712 Thanks: 66,350 Thanked 210,189 Times in 15,752 Posts	Unknown Fact... Counting sheep doesn't help people who are excited by sheep. -By the Unknown Comic

September 11th, 2018, 04:44 PM	#13817
Greenman Live Legend of VEF Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Underground lair somewhere in the world Posts: 20,353 Thanks: 30,936 Thanked 383,585 Times in 19,356 Posts	Another Doctor one missed Doctor! Doctor! I keep thinking I'm a pair of curtains! Well pull yourself together man! Tommy Cooper's best ones I went to the doctor's the other day and I asked him could he give me something for the wind...so he gave me a kite! I was up in the attic the other day with the wife, dirty, smelly, covered in cobwebs...but she's good with the kids! My feet are killing me...they keep trying to grab me by the throat! And one VERY old school biscuit joke What happened when a fight broke out in the biscuit tin? The BANDIT, tied up the PENGUIN with a BLUE RIBAND and then made his BREAKAWAY in a TAXI! __________________ There was only ONE Greenman, and you accepted no substitutes! To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Rest in peace MaxJoker-you will be sorely missed. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. 20,000: Milestone reached!

September 11th, 2018, 05:38 PM	#13818
haymarket Vintage Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Merseyside U.K Posts: 254 Thanks: 23,547 Thanked 4,549 Times in 253 Posts	"Doctor, I keep thinking I'm a Supermarket" "How long have you felt like this??" "Ever since I was Lidl" __________________ "You ain't seen me, Right!"

September 11th, 2018, 06:16 PM	#13819
ball7 Veteran Member Join Date: Jul 2013 Location: MIA Posts: 15,712 Thanks: 66,350 Thanked 210,189 Times in 15,752 Posts	Last night my grandmother asked for some ice. So I called ICE and they deported her this evening.

September 11th, 2018, 11:52 PM	#13820
mrfixit Vintage Member Join Date: May 2009 Location: Elm Street Posts: 9,401 Thanks: 166,037 Thanked 114,859 Times in 9,416 Posts	__________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Where's my Illudium PU-36 Explosive Space Modulator?