Post your corny jokes - Page 1236

**Isegrim** · June 3rd, 2017, 01:04 PM

"I may be a joke but I'm a self-made joke ..."
(Mantra of Donald Trump)

By the way I think he's right in leaving the Paris Agreement ... change of climate is not due to CO2 ... it's due to him - and a reduction of harmful emissions is not really to expect ...

Aaron · June 3rd, 2017, 06:21 PM

Jane Goodall says we are very much like chimpanzees. I totally disagree. I think chimpanzees can drive better than most of the people I see on the road.

**gedly** · June 4th, 2017, 10:07 AM

Herringbone
Terracotta
Zigzag
Polka dot
Chequered

I can see a pattern emerging.

**anothercustom** · June 4th, 2017, 11:25 PM

What do you call a prostitute with no arms or legs? Cash and Carry.

**anothercustom** · June 4th, 2017, 11:37 PM

My wife asked me where I'd like to be buried. "Balls deep in your sister" wasn't the answer she was expecting.

**mrfixit** · June 5th, 2017, 02:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by anothercustom

My wife asked me where I'd like to be buried. "Balls deep in your sister" wasn't the answer she was expecting.

I'm guessing you finally woke up about a month later in the hospital

**Isegrim** · June 5th, 2017, 02:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by anothercustom

My wife asked me where I'd like to be buried. "Balls deep in your sister" wasn't the answer she was expecting.

You could be cremated, your ashes pressed to a diamond and that could be part of a genital piercing of your sister-in-law - then everyone gets what he wants ... no need to struggle anymore ...

**anothercustom** · June 5th, 2017, 11:59 PM

Teacher: "Can someone use the word dandelion in a sentence?"

Jamaican kid: "Yes miss, da cheetah runs fasta dandelion"

**anothercustom** · June 6th, 2017, 06:19 PM

I went to the doctors with hearing problems.

He asked "Can you describe the symptoms?"

I replied "Homers a fat bloke and Marge has blue hair."

**anothercustom** · June 6th, 2017, 06:22 PM

Yesterday a feminist asked me how I view lesbian relationships. I replied "In HD".

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June 3rd, 2017, 01:04 PM	#12351
Isegrim Vintage Member Join Date: Apr 2016 Posts: 1,094 Thanks: 8,200 Thanked 11,679 Times in 1,099 Posts	"I may be a joke but I'm a self-made joke ..." (Mantra of Donald Trump) By the way I think he's right in leaving the Paris Agreement ... change of climate is not due to CO2 ... it's due to him - and a reduction of harmful emissions is not really to expect ...

June 3rd, 2017, 06:21 PM	#12352
Aaron Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2014 Location: U.S. of A. Posts: 206 Thanks: 6,639 Thanked 2,740 Times in 201 Posts	Jane Goodall says we are very much like chimpanzees. I totally disagree. I think chimpanzees can drive better than most of the people I see on the road.

June 4th, 2017, 10:07 AM	#12353
gedly Veteran Member Join Date: May 2007 Posts: 3,234 Thanks: 19,883 Thanked 69,314 Times in 3,171 Posts	Herringbone Terracotta Zigzag Polka dot Chequered I can see a pattern emerging.

June 4th, 2017, 11:25 PM	#12354
anothercustom Vintage Member Join Date: Dec 2016 Posts: 4,950 Thanks: 25,742 Thanked 123,766 Times in 5,161 Posts	What do you call a prostitute with no arms or legs? Cash and Carry.

June 4th, 2017, 11:37 PM	#12355
anothercustom Vintage Member Join Date: Dec 2016 Posts: 4,950 Thanks: 25,742 Thanked 123,766 Times in 5,161 Posts	My wife asked me where I'd like to be buried. "Balls deep in your sister" wasn't the answer she was expecting.

June 5th, 2017, 11:59 PM	#12358
anothercustom Vintage Member Join Date: Dec 2016 Posts: 4,950 Thanks: 25,742 Thanked 123,766 Times in 5,161 Posts	Teacher: "Can someone use the word dandelion in a sentence?" Jamaican kid: "Yes miss, da cheetah runs fasta dandelion"

June 6th, 2017, 06:19 PM	#12359
anothercustom Vintage Member Join Date: Dec 2016 Posts: 4,950 Thanks: 25,742 Thanked 123,766 Times in 5,161 Posts	I went to the doctors with hearing problems. He asked "Can you describe the symptoms?" I replied "Homers a fat bloke and Marge has blue hair."

June 6th, 2017, 06:22 PM	#12360
anothercustom Vintage Member Join Date: Dec 2016 Posts: 4,950 Thanks: 25,742 Thanked 123,766 Times in 5,161 Posts	Yesterday a feminist asked me how I view lesbian relationships. I replied "In HD".