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March 5th, 2010, 05:08 PM | #1 |
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Why are you the way you are ?
Hopefully this thread is self explanatory , although if it isn't then i`ll explain , just don't ask me to repeat myself as i HATE doing so
That's one of the ways i am , and i suppose i`m like that because i grew up with heavy drinkers .Who were mostly too pissed to understand the youthful reply i`d just given to their adult half cut slurring question ,and so would always ask me to repeat what i`d said. Then ten minutes later they`d ask me the same F`ing question as they`d have forgotten i`d already answered it TWICE ! Alright those who know me on here will right say it's old GS trying to burp out a few demons that are troubling him right now , and as usual they`d be right. You see a friend of mine is seeing a the-rapist to help sort out his " Issues" . Mind you turns out the woman he`s visiting is a Buddhist so i doubt it`ll be too harsh or probing a discussion Anyway ( I always have to have an intro into what i`m going to write next , although i never say such things in real life ) he`s seeing for want of a better word a shrink , because he wants to find out why he`s the way he is . Whatever that means ? Because come on don`t we ALL know ourselves already , and the reasons we`re the way we are ?. It`s just that most of us are too busy enough dealing with the here and now than to waste time wanking around trying to get to grips with our inner child ( Hey wanking around , inner child, that reminds me anybody seen Gary Glitter lately ? ). Surely my friend ( Let`s call him Peter , as that's his name) is only going there because he`s a wimp who wants tea and sympathy . Oh and yes i told him this , which is another way i am . As in ( Notice the intro) i always say what i`m thinking ( So how i got off that triple murder rap is anyones guess ?) . That's probably due to originally being around people who never let you know what they were thinking (Unless you heard them whispering ) until they came after you with an axe . But back to the thread and what it`s about It`s about why you think you`re the way you are ? Course that means you`d have to first say How you are ? Like are you an angry person / happy / sad or a worrier etc etc etc Or someone inclined to tell me to sod off and mind my own business Arrrgggh i think this threads no good , so will probably end up deleting it as i have several dozen others See that's another way i am . I'm never happy with anything i do , i always think i could have done better somehow . Yikes maybe i should see a shrink as well Naaaaah , i know why i'm so rough on myself . It's that nobody ever praised me properly while i was growing up (Sob sob ). That is they did up until i was nine , but then i started having reading hassles and they pretty much lost interest after that. Well apart from criticizing me and wondering aloud (Finally no whispers) whether i needed more structure . Yeah they wondered it , for about a Milli second .Then my dad when back to his big talk and sporting life , while my mother went back to complaining about her own. As my much older humorless siblings drew straws behind my back to decide which one would torture me that day. What was that Buddhists number again By the way i`d just like to point out my siblings lives are total disasters Plus my dear pa is suffering the sins of the damned , and yes this might seem cold , but it's about time Last spoke to him over three years ago and it went something like this " You ok " =Translation= Are you working " Fine thanks " " So all`s ok then " = You being paid well " Yes " " It`s not so good for me " = That nag tripped over at the final hurdle " Oh " " Wondered if you got some spare cash about " = The bookies sharpening his knives " Spare cash , sure kindest caring Pop who`s always been there for me ,lets just check down the side of this chair , hey whadd`ya know i found a two quid coin would that do ya " " I was thinking nearer seventeen hundred " " Well it's nice to have dreams " - Click - Now here`s how i am in one way - See there i go again ,it`s always about bloody me , except when it's not , which is roughly 99 percent of the time , something you`d soon notice if you lived on my left shoulder , mind you the Devil would have to shift over a bit I`m someone who gets disproportionately annoyed if the other person doesn`t do what they said they would . Which is why i only ever agree to something if i know i`m going to be able to do it , since if i think i can`t then i won`t say yes as i will never break my word. I know i`m that way mainly due to my family always going back on their promises . So much so that i think it must have been intentional ?. Fact i even broke up with GF who was really my type to look at ,because she let me down on a couple of occasions , actually it was my last GF . I`m distrustful of authority to the point of paranoia . That started back in middle school when my then art teacher Miss Bonura somehow lost my mask of madness i`d finished only the afternoon before. It was made of clay and showed a screaming man with very thick hair and on the end of each strand was a smiling head . Now i know for certain that she must have stolen it . Namely as if i`m face to face with someone for long enough i can always tell if they`re lying to me (One of the reason i hate phone calls , something unfortunately that makes up thirty percent of my working day). Point is when i called her out on it she claimed to have no idea where it went. Yeah a real mystery , what with it being in a locked airing room to harden and her having locked that door 12 hours before . Yeah a real conundrum , you red cheeked lying bitch ( Hey i've got over it i swear ). Still got an A for art practical though so it all worked out for the best huh Alright so that`s a couple of the ways i am and the original reasons for them . Hah who needs a sixty quid (Well i guess even Buddhists have to eat ) an hour nodding shrink ,when i have this Screen Shrink By the way please feel under no obligation to contribute if you`d rather keep your personal grievances to yourself . No just let them fester fester fester away until you collapse with a stress induced stroke " Hmmmmm and how does that make you feel ? "
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March 5th, 2010, 05:31 PM | #2 |
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Wow....I feel ALMOST normal, here's my demons GS.
I'm overweight as I ate and drank a lot and did bugger all exercise. That is being seriously rectified right now but too late in the day if truth be know. I'm taking on a pretty exacting fitness regime and have come down from the grossness that was me at 18 stone. I have a very low self esteem and always seem to have a distorted image of myself. Other than my image issues I'm generally happy although I have moments when all my past errors seem to creep up on me and laugh in my face. I'm fairly resilient though and tend to bounce back quickly, but those gremlins are always there in the wings. I'm single because I always fall for the wrong women or wait too long and someone else jumps in. I get annoyed at myself more than other people. Can I stop flaying myself now???????????????????? |
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March 5th, 2010, 05:41 PM | #3 |
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Well " If i can heeeeeeeeelp some- booooooooody "
Hah hah hah yes you can ease up on the flaying now , but then i notice our weekly session is almost at an end plus you`re starting to drip on the floor I just hope it's blood Oh and speaking of such, bloody well done , both on the diet and expressing yourself
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March 5th, 2010, 06:12 PM | #4 |
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March 5th, 2010, 07:27 PM | #5 |
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Me, i'm a depressed loser, who see's his shrink once a fortnight. Been in the mental ward a few times. Drink to much, but that runs in the family. A bottle of whiskey is a warm up for me. A lot of this might be down to the time I was shot three times at close range. Or maybe it's just fate.
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March 5th, 2010, 11:24 PM | #6 |
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"They fuck you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to, but they do. They fill you with the faults they had And add some extra, just for you. But they were fucked up in their turn By fools in old-style hats and coats, Who half the time were soppy-stern And half at one another's throats. Man hands on misery to man. It deepens like a coastal shelf. Get out as early as you can, And don't have any kids yourself." Philip Larkin |
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March 6th, 2010, 01:02 AM | #7 | |
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Quote:
[IMG]http://i47.*******.com/1zvttv8.gif[/IMG]
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March 6th, 2010, 01:22 AM | #8 |
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Two in the upper arm one in the thigh.
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March 6th, 2010, 01:43 AM | #9 |
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Well don`t blame me , i shouted duck.
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March 6th, 2010, 01:04 PM | #10 |
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Honest answer: I donīt know.Something gone very wrong at certain point,thatīs for shure or maybe not,itīs a point of view matter.Iīm not what my family expected,so what? I hurt nobody but myself.My demons are all here and I deal with them.Thereīs no right or wrong,thereīs my way and your way,just that simple.Iīm unsocial but I can be polite and treat you right,or not.Itīs up to you.I may agree or not but,above all,I respect your ways.Do the same for me.
Damage goods? probably but Iīm still around.Porno addicted? Hell yesss |
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