Post your corny jokes - Page 614

**Jeff Vader** · May 11th, 2013, 03:27 AM

I just found a whip, a mask and handcuffs in my moms bedroom.

I can't believe it...

She's a superhero!

**retroanalyst** · May 11th, 2013, 05:27 AM

I'm looking to start up my own business, recycling discarded chewing gum.

Just need help getting it off the ground.

**Jeff Vader** · May 11th, 2013, 06:16 AM

A girl came skipping home from school one day.

"Mummy, Mummy," she yelled, "we were counting today, and all the other kids could only count to four, but I counted to 10. See? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10!"

"Very good," said her mother.

"Is it because I'm blonde?" the girl said.

"Yes, it's because you're blonde," said the mum.

The next day the girl came skipping home from school. "Mummy, Mummy," she yelled,

"we were saying the alphabet today, and all the other kids could only say it to D, but I said it to G. See? A, B, C, D, E, F, G!"

"Very good," said her mother.

"Is it because I'm blonde, Mummy?"

"Yes, it's because you're blonde."

The next day the girl came skipping home from school. Mummy, Mummy," she yelled,

"we was doing P.E. today and we showered, all the other girls had flat chests, but I have these!" And she lifted her tank top to reveal a pair of 32DDs.

"Very good," said her embarrassed mother.

"Is it because I'm blonde, mummy?"

"No Honey, it's because you're 24".

**Jeff Vader** · May 11th, 2013, 02:16 PM

I'm watching far too much television these days.

If it wasn't for Emmerdale I'd get no fresh air.

**retroanalyst** · May 12th, 2013, 06:11 AM

I called my wife a whore.

I'm sure she'll make me pay for it later.

**Jeff Vader** · May 12th, 2013, 06:37 AM

God is very much a DJ,

He doesn't do requests

**slisse** · May 12th, 2013, 06:09 PM

The priest tells the parishioners: "Let us pray for those ailing parts of the human body."

An man of 97 puts a hand on his shrimp.

A little old woman sees this and tells the old man: "This is a mass of healing, not one for the resurrection of the dead!"

**Jeff Vader** · May 12th, 2013, 06:40 PM

On my way to work this morning, I noticed the man driving next to me was texting whilst driving.

Knowing how dangerous that can be, I promptly rolled down my window and threw my beer at him.

**amantpoche** · May 13th, 2013, 12:17 PM

This is a driver who is a biker to stop by excess speed
the cop asked for his papers and what it does as a profession
the driver says he is expander anus
surprised the cop asked for clarification
but how you expand?
the driver explains that it is variable, 10cm, sometimes more,
1.20 M, 1.50 M, 1.85 M or even
the cop is stunned, and after a moment of reflection
he asked the driver, but what do we do with an asshole of 1.85 M?
the driver responds :

it is placed next to a radar to stop cars

**amantpoche** · May 13th, 2013, 12:30 PM

this is a guy who just got married with a beautiful Swedish
the day after the wedding, he went to the table for breakfast,
his wife serves him grated carrot

, guys a little surprised by the finished
that it must be a Swedish custom and eats his carrots.
The same day, and the day after again, making
after a few days the guy can do no more, and finally asked
his wife what it is this plan?
his wife told him that it is useless
but as long as you fuck like a rabbit,
You eat like a rabbit

May 11th, 2013, 03:27 AM	#6131
Jeff Vader Moderator (Retired) Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Cheam AKA the land of Cheese and Canals Posts: 6,352 Thanks: 156,898 Thanked 140,019 Times in 6,511 Posts	I just found a whip, a mask and handcuffs in my moms bedroom. I can't believe it... She's a superhero! __________________ Please read the To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Model ID To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. :

May 11th, 2013, 05:27 AM	#6132
retroanalyst in memoriam Max Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Germany Posts: 3,586 Thanks: 121,979 Thanked 47,461 Times in 3,337 Posts	I'm looking to start up my own business, recycling discarded chewing gum. Just need help getting it off the ground. __________________ Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.

May 11th, 2013, 06:16 AM	#6133
Jeff Vader Moderator (Retired) Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Cheam AKA the land of Cheese and Canals Posts: 6,352 Thanks: 156,898 Thanked 140,019 Times in 6,511 Posts	A girl came skipping home from school one day. "Mummy, Mummy," she yelled, "we were counting today, and all the other kids could only count to four, but I counted to 10. See? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10!" "Very good," said her mother. "Is it because I'm blonde?" the girl said. "Yes, it's because you're blonde," said the mum. The next day the girl came skipping home from school. "Mummy, Mummy," she yelled, "we were saying the alphabet today, and all the other kids could only say it to D, but I said it to G. See? A, B, C, D, E, F, G!" "Very good," said her mother. "Is it because I'm blonde, Mummy?" "Yes, it's because you're blonde." The next day the girl came skipping home from school. Mummy, Mummy," she yelled, "we was doing P.E. today and we showered, all the other girls had flat chests, but I have these!" And she lifted her tank top to reveal a pair of 32DDs. "Very good," said her embarrassed mother. "Is it because I'm blonde, mummy?" "No Honey, it's because you're 24". __________________ Please read the To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Model ID To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. :

May 11th, 2013, 02:16 PM	#6134
Jeff Vader Moderator (Retired) Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Cheam AKA the land of Cheese and Canals Posts: 6,352 Thanks: 156,898 Thanked 140,019 Times in 6,511 Posts	I'm watching far too much television these days. If it wasn't for Emmerdale I'd get no fresh air. __________________ Please read the To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Model ID To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. :

May 12th, 2013, 06:11 AM	#6135
retroanalyst in memoriam Max Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Germany Posts: 3,586 Thanks: 121,979 Thanked 47,461 Times in 3,337 Posts	I called my wife a whore. I'm sure she'll make me pay for it later. __________________ Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.

May 12th, 2013, 06:37 AM	#6136
Jeff Vader Moderator (Retired) Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Cheam AKA the land of Cheese and Canals Posts: 6,352 Thanks: 156,898 Thanked 140,019 Times in 6,511 Posts	God is very much a DJ, He doesn't do requests __________________ Please read the To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Model ID To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. :

May 12th, 2013, 06:09 PM	#6137
slisse Vintage Member Join Date: May 2011 Location: BE Posts: 2,405 Thanks: 32,668 Thanked 72,518 Times in 2,481 Posts	The priest tells the parishioners: "Let us pray for those ailing parts of the human body." An man of 97 puts a hand on his shrimp. A little old woman sees this and tells the old man: "This is a mass of healing, not one for the resurrection of the dead!" __________________ Life is short, so try to make the best of it. If any of my links isn't working, please send me a PM so I can fix it. Thank you.

May 12th, 2013, 06:40 PM	#6138
Jeff Vader Moderator (Retired) Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Cheam AKA the land of Cheese and Canals Posts: 6,352 Thanks: 156,898 Thanked 140,019 Times in 6,511 Posts	On my way to work this morning, I noticed the man driving next to me was texting whilst driving. Knowing how dangerous that can be, I promptly rolled down my window and threw my beer at him. __________________ Please read the To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Model ID To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. :

May 13th, 2013, 12:17 PM	#6139
amantpoche Veteran Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Posts: 5,859 Thanks: 68,850 Thanked 199,657 Times in 6,832 Posts	This is a driver who is a biker to stop by excess speed the cop asked for his papers and what it does as a profession the driver says he is expander anus surprised the cop asked for clarification but how you expand? the driver explains that it is variable, 10cm, sometimes more, 1.20 M, 1.50 M, 1.85 M or even the cop is stunned, and after a moment of reflection he asked the driver, but what do we do with an asshole of 1.85 M? the driver responds : it is placed next to a radar to stop cars

May 13th, 2013, 12:30 PM	#6140
amantpoche Veteran Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Posts: 5,859 Thanks: 68,850 Thanked 199,657 Times in 6,832 Posts	this is a guy who just got married with a beautiful Swedish the day after the wedding, he went to the table for breakfast, his wife serves him grated carrot , guys a little surprised by the finished that it must be a Swedish custom and eats his carrots. The same day, and the day after again, making after a few days the guy can do no more, and finally asked his wife what it is this plan? his wife told him that it is useless but as long as you fuck like a rabbit, You eat like a rabbit

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