A naked woman on my bed and i didn't know what to do ? - Page 12

**Mr Bond** · July 13th, 2011, 09:48 PM

And it's not a fake !
But, with a pillow on her face....

Alvin Lucifer · July 14th, 2011, 03:47 AM

I've had 'em that big. It's like a flesh waterbed with wet holes. Kinda fun, really. Just gotta make sure she don't smother you by accident!

MaxJoker · August 8th, 2013, 03:30 PM

Alright so my life partner might not be classically beautiful

But hey once the lights are off who can tell the difference anyway ? . Not me that`s for sure

Well provided i touch nothing, don`t inhale and put in ear plugs to help muffle my own screams

**amantpoche** · August 8th, 2013, 07:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MaxJoker

Max, do not forget to flour ,
otherwise you will not know if she wets

,

pardon !!, what ? , if I want your place ...

No thanks mate, I can not, my car is double-parked..

MaxJoker · August 11th, 2013, 02:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by amantpoche

Max, do not forget to flour ,
otherwise you will not know if she wets

,

Oh i`ll know alright

As i`ll be made aware thanks to the odour of month old smoked rotten kippers emanating between from what is alleged to be her thighs

**amantpoche** · August 11th, 2013, 07:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MaxJoker

Oh i`ll know alright

As i`ll be made aware thanks to the odour of month old smoked rotten kippers emanating between from what is alleged to be her thighs

normal..
after 33 months of gestation

MaxJoker · December 28th, 2016, 03:45 PM

Thought I`d finally show the happy images of my wedding

Although couldn't find any as all of them included the wife

How`s married life treating me

Like an already hated stepson it now believes pissed in the ashes urn of it`s beloved Grandma

**bloke57** · December 28th, 2016, 04:11 PM

After literally minutes of serious scientific thinking, I have come up with a possible solution. An LED body suit.

Divide your morbidly obese partner's body mass into a grid of alphanumerically ordered "zones". If she asks to be stimulated, say, at grid reference B28, simply tap the co-ordinates into your smart phone and a light will shine on to indicate exactly where (within the mass of amorphous, superfluous flesh) that is. Armed only with a military grade flashlight, a contour map and some twine to find your way out again, you can then proceed in safety to the desired area.

Finally, place her stimulus of choice (your finger, tongue, cock or the rough end of a pineapple) at the very spot and work your sexy magic.

Of course you may need to employ more than one alphabet to provide enough discrete zones but I think the idea has legs. Good luck with it.

July 13th, 2011, 09:48 PM	#111
Mr Bond Vintage Member Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: London, Paris, Istanbul, Nassau, Las Vegas, Kobe, Piz Gloria... Posts: 6,073 Thanks: 31,066 Thanked 224,853 Times in 6,218 Posts	And it's not a fake ! But, with a pillow on her face.... __________________ Red wine with fish ! That should have told me something ! Mr Bond in From Russia With Love.

July 14th, 2011, 03:47 AM	#112
Alvin Lucifer Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Pioneer Valley, Massachusetts Posts: 373 Thanks: 8,750 Thanked 3,055 Times in 364 Posts	I've had 'em that big. It's like a flesh waterbed with wet holes. Kinda fun, really. Just gotta make sure she don't smother you by accident! __________________ I'm not a gynecologist, but I'll have a look...

August 8th, 2013, 03:30 PM	#113
MaxJoker Beloved Brother Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19 Posts: 69,106 Thanks: 372,713 Thanked 987,511 Times in 69,067 Posts	Alright so my life partner might not be classically beautiful But hey once the lights are off who can tell the difference anyway ? . Not me that`s for sure Well provided i touch nothing, don`t inhale and put in ear plugs to help muffle my own screams __________________ My hypocrisy only goes so To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

December 28th, 2016, 03:45 PM	#117
MaxJoker Beloved Brother Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19 Posts: 69,106 Thanks: 372,713 Thanked 987,511 Times in 69,067 Posts	Thought I`d finally show the happy images of my wedding Although couldn't find any as all of them included the wife How`s married life treating me Like an already hated stepson it now believes pissed in the ashes urn of it`s beloved Grandma __________________ My hypocrisy only goes so To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

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December 28th, 2016, 04:11 PM	#118
bloke57 Veteran Member Join Date: Nov 2015 Location: Unaffordable housing Posts: 4,923 Thanks: 31,646 Thanked 68,928 Times in 4,921 Posts	After literally minutes of serious scientific thinking, I have come up with a possible solution. An LED body suit. Divide your morbidly obese partner's body mass into a grid of alphanumerically ordered "zones". If she asks to be stimulated, say, at grid reference B28, simply tap the co-ordinates into your smart phone and a light will shine on to indicate exactly where (within the mass of amorphous, superfluous flesh) that is. Armed only with a military grade flashlight, a contour map and some twine to find your way out again, you can then proceed in safety to the desired area. Finally, place her stimulus of choice (your finger, tongue, cock or the rough end of a pineapple) at the very spot and work your sexy magic. Of course you may need to employ more than one alphabet to provide enough discrete zones but I think the idea has legs. Good luck with it.