Weird or humorous dreams

[onehourplus]

Mark Twain identifed a common dream theme that I imagine we've all had: A ghost was chasing him down the road, he was running as fast as he could, but still it seemed that he was mired down and covering no distance at all and the ghost was gaining on him.

Another recurrent dream I've had all my life: I'm at work or maybe sitting in a classroom, when I discover that I forgot to put on my clothes. Everyone else is dressed normally, but what the hell am I doing with nothing but jockey shorts on?

No one would absentmindedly go out in public in their underwear unless they were enormously distracted or brain-damaged, and that is in line with one theory of dreaming: Large portions of the brain shut down to take a rest, and what is left to dream with is similar to the brain that has been seriously damaged and can no longer function rationally. Thus our dreams become populated with ridiculous mixtures of such stuff as dinosaurs, Nazis, and whatever else is available in the "brain-damaged" state.

So to get to the point, there is the dream I had the orther day that I had convinced an attractive woman to go to bed with me, and we got as far as a room and got our clothes off. But then she told me she only had 50 minutes to spare. OK, that's enough, except some dude is looking in the window at us while announcing the daily news, so I had to chase him away, then a fire sprang up in a corner of the room that had to be put out, and so on until she ran out of time and had to go.

This dream and others like it conspire to keep me from actually dreaming of getting any pussy, or if I do get it, I don't usually get to finish. But for me at least, it's not that frustrating. I don't need to dream of getting pussy. Dreaming (of whatever) happens when I am getting good solid REM sleep that rests me up for the coming day, when I can go out and actually chase some real pussy, and sometimes get it, with far less crazy shit going on. Now if I can only remember to put my pants on first!

Finally, Kurt Vonnegut in his early genius years dreamed of going to heaven, where the deal was that you could be any age that you had actually lived on earth. Kurt chose about age 30 (old enough, but also young enough). But to his dismay, there was his dad also in heaven, who had chosen to be a young teenager. This was uncomfortable for Kurt, having his dad follow him around all the time, and the other kids in heaven chased his dad and pulled off his underpants, which they threw down a well into the mouth of hell. Down there in hell, Adolf Hitler, who was already suffering maximum agony, had the further indignity of having Kurt Vonnegut's dad's underpants draped over his head.

[buggeration]

I once dreamed I was hiding in a ditch with Oliver Reed. We were being pursued by helicopters!