Post your corny jokes - Page 1416

**photoflex** · December 30th, 2018, 06:36 PM

Conan O'Brien
@ConanOBrien

Well, we can all agree on one thing: 2018 was the year that is the most recent.

**gedly** · December 30th, 2018, 11:59 PM

I'm fussy about my toilet paper and I try many different brands. The supermarket has insisted though that I pay for them and take them home first.

**haymarket** · December 31st, 2018, 01:03 PM

My insurance company has just quoted me 10 grand a year to insure my DeLorean.

I told them I only drive it from time to time.

**gedly** · December 31st, 2018, 11:24 PM

I know a supermarket that refused me a refund.
Last time I'm buying a lottery ticket there.

**deadman76** · December 31st, 2018, 11:27 PM

So I hear Cluedo are introducing a Black character....
So all we need to do now is find the murder weapon and the room.

**ball7** · December 31st, 2018, 11:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by deadman76

So I hear Cluedo are introducing a Black character....
So all we need to do now is find the murder weapon and the room.

They are replacing Mustard with a white anglo saxon cop

**trailmaster** · January 1st, 2019, 02:00 PM

When the man heard that his mother in-law had crashed and died on the spot, he started to cry like crazy. One of the man's friends asked him what had happened, to which he responded. "My mother in-law has crashed and died on the spot, in MY NEW CAR!"

**mrfixit** · January 2nd, 2019, 03:12 AM

**trailmaster** · January 2nd, 2019, 11:49 AM

The girls in the seventh grade were preparing for confirmation. If any of you have touched a penis, then you need to be washed in holy water, the priest said. The first girl steps forward and says that she touched a penis with her finger, and she therefore puts her finger in the holy water. Then the next girl steps forward and says that she has touched a penis with her entire hand, and she shall therefore wash her entire hand. The third girl hurries to the front of the queue, and the priest asks her why she is in such a hurry?
"Because I'm going to wash my mouth in the holy water, and I'm gonna do that before Louise washes her ass!"

**mrfixit** · January 3rd, 2019, 04:37 AM

December 30th, 2018, 06:36 PM	#14151
photoflex Veteran Member Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Location: Location Posts: 3,584 Thanks: 37,948 Thanked 127,842 Times in 3,571 Posts	Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien Well, we can all agree on one thing: 2018 was the year that is the most recent. __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. I love your thanks, but please thank the original posters first.

December 31st, 2018, 01:03 PM	#14153
haymarket Vintage Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Merseyside U.K Posts: 254 Thanks: 23,547 Thanked 4,549 Times in 253 Posts	My insurance company has just quoted me 10 grand a year to insure my DeLorean. I told them I only drive it from time to time. __________________ "You ain't seen me, Right!"

January 2nd, 2019, 03:12 AM	#14158
mrfixit Vintage Member Join Date: May 2009 Location: Elm Street Posts: 9,401 Thanks: 166,037 Thanked 114,859 Times in 9,416 Posts	__________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Where's my Illudium PU-36 Explosive Space Modulator?

January 3rd, 2019, 04:37 AM	#14160
mrfixit Vintage Member Join Date: May 2009 Location: Elm Street Posts: 9,401 Thanks: 166,037 Thanked 114,859 Times in 9,416 Posts	__________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Where's my Illudium PU-36 Explosive Space Modulator?

December 30th, 2018, 11:59 PM	#14152
gedly Veteran Member Join Date: May 2007 Posts: 3,236 Thanks: 19,903 Thanked 69,345 Times in 3,173 Posts	I'm fussy about my toilet paper and I try many different brands. The supermarket has insisted though that I pay for them and take them home first.

December 31st, 2018, 11:24 PM	#14154
gedly Veteran Member Join Date: May 2007 Posts: 3,236 Thanks: 19,903 Thanked 69,345 Times in 3,173 Posts	I know a supermarket that refused me a refund. Last time I'm buying a lottery ticket there.

December 31st, 2018, 11:27 PM	#14155
deadman76 Vintage Member Join Date: Jun 2014 Location: Living Room Posts: 775 Thanks: 9,759 Thanked 10,944 Times in 773 Posts	So I hear Cluedo are introducing a Black character.... So all we need to do now is find the murder weapon and the room.

January 1st, 2019, 02:00 PM	#14157
trailmaster Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2013 Location: Chicago, Illinois, USA Posts: 59,927 Thanks: 1,329,392 Thanked 707,553 Times in 60,101 Posts	When the man heard that his mother in-law had crashed and died on the spot, he started to cry like crazy. One of the man's friends asked him what had happened, to which he responded. "My mother in-law has crashed and died on the spot, in MY NEW CAR!"

January 2nd, 2019, 11:49 AM	#14159
trailmaster Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2013 Location: Chicago, Illinois, USA Posts: 59,927 Thanks: 1,329,392 Thanked 707,553 Times in 60,101 Posts	The girls in the seventh grade were preparing for confirmation. If any of you have touched a penis, then you need to be washed in holy water, the priest said. The first girl steps forward and says that she touched a penis with her finger, and she therefore puts her finger in the holy water. Then the next girl steps forward and says that she has touched a penis with her entire hand, and she shall therefore wash her entire hand. The third girl hurries to the front of the queue, and the priest asks her why she is in such a hurry? "Because I'm going to wash my mouth in the holy water, and I'm gonna do that before Louise washes her ass!"