Post your corny jokes - Page 896

**SanteeFats** · January 7th, 2015, 02:29 PM

I got this from an old Benny Hill show.

How do you know an Irishman at a cock fight?
He is the one with the duck!

How can you tell if an Italian is at the fight?
He bets on the duck!

How can you tell if the mafia is there?
The duck wins

dangerpin · January 7th, 2015, 03:36 PM

Its hard to say what my girlfriend's does for a living.

She sells seashells on the sea shore.

**SanteeFats** · January 7th, 2015, 06:08 PM

innuendos : Italian for suppositories.

**Jeff Vader** · January 7th, 2015, 08:36 PM

If I had a pound for every girl that told me I was unattractive, they'd eventually find me attractive

**SanteeFats** · January 7th, 2015, 09:40 PM

When is Mom"s day?
about nine months after Dad's day !!

**slisse** · January 8th, 2015, 11:26 AM

Husband to wife :- Today is a fine day.

Next day he says :- Today is a fine day.

Again next day, he says same thing - Today is a fine day....

Finally after a week, the wife can't take it and asks her husband :- Since last one week, you are saying this 'Today is a fine day'. I am fed up. What's the matter?

Husband :- Last week when we had an argument, you said, "I will leave you one fine day." I was just trying to remind you.......

**SanteeFats** · January 8th, 2015, 03:37 PM

Got a dumb friend:
He thinks bacteria is the back door to a cafeteria.

I asked him once "Did you go to school stupid?"
He answered "Yes and I came out the same way".

**dbailey** · January 8th, 2015, 04:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SanteeFats

Got a dumb friend:
He thinks bacteria is the back door to a cafeteria.

I asked him once "Did you go to school stupid?"
He answered "Yes and I came out the same way".

He sounds like my mate, he thinks a cubicle is a square bollock

**dbailey** · January 8th, 2015, 04:36 PM

Grammar...the difference between knowing your shit..

...and not knowing you're shit

**SanteeFats** · January 8th, 2015, 05:42 PM

Man the coffee business is such a grind.

January 7th, 2015, 02:29 PM	#8951
SanteeFats Super Moderator Join Date: Jul 2013 Location: Santee, Ca Posts: 60,915 Thanks: 282,079 Thanked 815,378 Times in 60,962 Posts	I got this from an old Benny Hill show. How do you know an Irishman at a cock fight? He is the one with the duck! How can you tell if an Italian is at the fight? He bets on the duck! How can you tell if the mafia is there? The duck wins Last edited by SanteeFats; January 7th, 2015 at 06:07 PM..

January 7th, 2015, 08:36 PM	#8954
Jeff Vader Moderator (Retired) Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Cheam AKA the land of Cheese and Canals Posts: 6,352 Thanks: 156,898 Thanked 140,030 Times in 6,511 Posts	If I had a pound for every girl that told me I was unattractive, they'd eventually find me attractive __________________ Please read the To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Model ID To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. :

January 8th, 2015, 11:26 AM	#8956
slisse Vintage Member Join Date: May 2011 Location: BE Posts: 2,405 Thanks: 32,668 Thanked 72,544 Times in 2,481 Posts	Husband to wife :- Today is a fine day. Next day he says :- Today is a fine day. Again next day, he says same thing - Today is a fine day.... Finally after a week, the wife can't take it and asks her husband :- Since last one week, you are saying this 'Today is a fine day'. I am fed up. What's the matter? Husband :- Last week when we had an argument, you said, "I will leave you one fine day." I was just trying to remind you....... __________________ Life is short, so try to make the best of it. If any of my links isn't working, please send me a PM so I can fix it. Thank you.

January 7th, 2015, 03:36 PM	#8952
dangerpin Member Join Date: Nov 2010 Posts: 25 Thanks: 2,945 Thanked 295 Times in 24 Posts	Its hard to say what my girlfriend's does for a living. She sells seashells on the sea shore.

January 7th, 2015, 06:08 PM	#8953
SanteeFats Super Moderator Join Date: Jul 2013 Location: Santee, Ca Posts: 60,915 Thanks: 282,079 Thanked 815,378 Times in 60,962 Posts	innuendos : Italian for suppositories.

January 7th, 2015, 09:40 PM	#8955
SanteeFats Super Moderator Join Date: Jul 2013 Location: Santee, Ca Posts: 60,915 Thanks: 282,079 Thanked 815,378 Times in 60,962 Posts	When is Mom"s day? about nine months after Dad's day !!

January 8th, 2015, 03:37 PM	#8957
SanteeFats Super Moderator Join Date: Jul 2013 Location: Santee, Ca Posts: 60,915 Thanks: 282,079 Thanked 815,378 Times in 60,962 Posts	Got a dumb friend: He thinks bacteria is the back door to a cafeteria. I asked him once "Did you go to school stupid?" He answered "Yes and I came out the same way".

January 8th, 2015, 04:36 PM	#8959
dbailey Veteran Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Wharfedale, Yorkshire, UK Posts: 2,298 Thanks: 137,969 Thanked 24,966 Times in 2,218 Posts	Grammar...the difference between knowing your shit.. ...and not knowing you're shit

January 8th, 2015, 05:42 PM	#8960
SanteeFats Super Moderator Join Date: Jul 2013 Location: Santee, Ca Posts: 60,915 Thanks: 282,079 Thanked 815,378 Times in 60,962 Posts	Man the coffee business is such a grind.