Women jokes - Page 21

MaxJoker · September 22nd, 2013, 05:58 PM

I was having a conversation with the wife about dying.

"If you could know how and when you would die, would you want to know ?" I asked her.

"No, i certainly wouldn't" She retorted.

"Fair enough not to worry then, sweet dreams darling " I replied , continuing to sharpen the axe.

**DoctorWho** · September 23rd, 2013, 05:20 PM

Blonde asks her boyfriend.. "Honey.. are you right or left handed?"

He replies.. "Right handed.. why do you ask?"

She says.. "Because your birthday is coming up and I wanted to get you a really nice pen."

MaxJoker · September 25th, 2013, 12:53 PM

My wife wants us to be best friends.

So i opened a can of beer, and started telling her how fat my wife is getting.

Estreeter · September 25th, 2013, 02:37 PM

One day a redhead, a brunette, and a blonde were on their way to heaven. God told them the stairs to heaven were 1,000 steps and on every step he was going to tell them a joke. If they laughed they would not be able to get to heaven. So the redhead made it to the 45th step and laughed. The brunette made it to the 200th step and laughed. But the blonde made it to the 999th step and laughed even before god told his joke. God asked "Why did you laugh I haven't even told the joke yet" The blonde said "I know I just now got the first one!!!"

MaxJoker · September 25th, 2013, 03:09 PM

Now i`m not saying my wife's a fat, greedy bitch.

Only she's just cleaned the inside of the oven with two fcuking slices of bread.

Estreeter · September 25th, 2013, 03:43 PM

To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.

To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

**billybunter** · September 25th, 2013, 04:46 PM

MaxJoker · September 26th, 2013, 04:35 PM

My wife scowled at me all the way through a typically burnt breakfast this morning.

Finally she said "You've forgotten our anniversary again, haven't you ?"

I replied "Have i fcuk, i`m wearing black aren't i ?"

MaxJoker · September 27th, 2013, 05:15 PM

I was chatting to this really hot girl in the pub last night.
Couldn't quite work her out though.
Her body language was saying "Take me and do what you want"
But her lazy left eye was saying " Is that artex on the ceiling ? "

MaxJoker · September 29th, 2013, 04:24 PM

I never believed in wishing wells.

Till my late wife fell down one and broke her neck .

September 22nd, 2013, 05:58 PM	#201
MaxJoker Beloved Brother Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19 Posts: 69,106 Thanks: 372,713 Thanked 987,564 Times in 69,067 Posts	I was having a conversation with the wife about dying. "If you could know how and when you would die, would you want to know ?" I asked her. "No, i certainly wouldn't" She retorted. "Fair enough not to worry then, sweet dreams darling " I replied , continuing to sharpen the axe. __________________ My hypocrisy only goes so To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

September 23rd, 2013, 05:20 PM	#202
DoctorWho Time Lord Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: Tomorrow............................. It's a bit complicated Posts: 3,659 Thanks: 91,219 Thanked 94,848 Times in 3,538 Posts	Blonde asks her boyfriend.. "Honey.. are you right or left handed?" He replies.. "Right handed.. why do you ask?" She says.. "Because your birthday is coming up and I wanted to get you a really nice pen." __________________ - - - To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. - - - Please Read, Know and Follow the To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

September 25th, 2013, 12:53 PM	#203
MaxJoker Beloved Brother Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19 Posts: 69,106 Thanks: 372,713 Thanked 987,564 Times in 69,067 Posts	My wife wants us to be best friends. So i opened a can of beer, and started telling her how fat my wife is getting. __________________ My hypocrisy only goes so To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

September 25th, 2013, 02:37 PM	#204
Estreeter *Administrator* Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: The 19th hole Posts: 58,120 Thanks: 449,724 Thanked 896,856 Times in 60,322 Posts	One day a redhead, a brunette, and a blonde were on their way to heaven. God told them the stairs to heaven were 1,000 steps and on every step he was going to tell them a joke. If they laughed they would not be able to get to heaven. So the redhead made it to the 45th step and laughed. The brunette made it to the 200th step and laughed. But the blonde made it to the 999th step and laughed even before god told his joke. God asked "Why did you laugh I haven't even told the joke yet" The blonde said "I know I just now got the first one!!!" __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

September 25th, 2013, 03:09 PM	#205
MaxJoker Beloved Brother Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19 Posts: 69,106 Thanks: 372,713 Thanked 987,564 Times in 69,067 Posts	Now i`m not saying my wife's a fat, greedy bitch. Only she's just cleaned the inside of the oven with two fcuking slices of bread. __________________ My hypocrisy only goes so To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

September 25th, 2013, 03:43 PM	#206
Estreeter *Administrator* Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: The 19th hole Posts: 58,120 Thanks: 449,724 Thanked 896,856 Times in 60,322 Posts	To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all. __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

September 25th, 2013, 04:46 PM	#207
billybunter R.I.P. Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Gone But Not Forgotten Posts: 14,404 Thanks: 51,687 Thanked 252,372 Times in 14,171 Posts	__________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

September 26th, 2013, 04:35 PM	#208
MaxJoker Beloved Brother Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19 Posts: 69,106 Thanks: 372,713 Thanked 987,564 Times in 69,067 Posts	My wife scowled at me all the way through a typically burnt breakfast this morning. Finally she said "You've forgotten our anniversary again, haven't you ?" I replied "Have i fcuk, i`m wearing black aren't i ?" __________________ My hypocrisy only goes so To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

September 27th, 2013, 05:15 PM	#209
MaxJoker Beloved Brother Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19 Posts: 69,106 Thanks: 372,713 Thanked 987,564 Times in 69,067 Posts	I was chatting to this really hot girl in the pub last night. Couldn't quite work her out though. Her body language was saying "Take me and do what you want" But her lazy left eye was saying " Is that artex on the ceiling ? " __________________ My hypocrisy only goes so To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

September 29th, 2013, 04:24 PM	#210
MaxJoker Beloved Brother Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19 Posts: 69,106 Thanks: 372,713 Thanked 987,564 Times in 69,067 Posts	I never believed in wishing wells. Till my late wife fell down one and broke her neck . __________________ My hypocrisy only goes so To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

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