The corrupt a wish game

[BarbEberlyFan]

Originally Posted by Bill derBerg

I wish TV would stop dividing series into fall and spring episodes.

Fair enough. Now you can watch your favorite shows at any time of the year when the networks broadcast them. Trouble is, the networks don't send out their schedules of show, so you have to guess when they're on.

I wish my face was between Christina Hendricks' big tits.

[ruffroundedges]

Granted: Unfortunately its while shes reef diving. As the bubbles rise to tickle her nose you drown and are left on the bottom of the ocean to be eaten by crustations. Your last thought is that you wonder if Sponge Bob Square Pants lives far from here?

I wish it would stop snowing so I didnt have to go to work.

[bowlinggreen]

Wish granted. Due to climate change, it never snows again. Not only do you lose your job plowing snow, you are displaced with hundreds of millions of other people as the average temperature of earth rises by 20 degrees Celsius.

You end up working in a rice paddy in Northern Quebec with a mean boss named Nguyen, wading through human waste in 95 degree heat as you scratch out a subsistence living playing rice farmer. Civilization is mostly gone, but at least you are eating. Some days you even get to have rat stew.


Missing that snow yet?

I wish for a trip to Costa Rica, all expenses paid, where I can lie on a sunny beach until April.

[Fappy Gilmore]

Originally Posted by bowlinggreen

I wish for a trip to Costa Rica, all expenses paid, where I can lie on a sunny beach until April.

Who says expenses have to be expensive? ..Granted! You are thrown 1 paddle, an RC cola, and a bread sandwich as your raft is set a drift ,with a hearty shove from your genie. Days later you ,miraculously, reach your destinations shore but quickly realize it is an all male nude gay resort. Enjoy your stay!


I wish I could see live all those great concerts of my favorite bands and artists from past or present.

[trailmaster]

Wish granted, but whenever you mess with the timeline there are catastrophes. You're going to a massive concert which will be showing all your favorite bands from the past. You pay your ticket and get a seat in the stadium. The curtains are closed. They then rise and the bands are revealed. Instead of seeing the bands you so loved from the past you see these freaking aliens that have six legs, and beaks for mouths singing. The singing sounds like the squawking of ducks. Then you look around you and all the other patrons are also 6 legged aliens. You run out of the stadium screaming and are hit by a tourist bus. When your squashed body is taken to the morgue the doctors are bewildered, because they don't know what you are or where you came from. They dump your body into the incinerator.


I wish that everytime there was going to be a snowstorm here in Chicago the storm would be blown to Melbourne, Australia.

[bowlinggreen]

Wish granted, but that snow blows all around Australia and now you have pissed Estreeter off. He makes a call to some guys in Jersey, who make a call to some guys in Chicago, who come over to your house to talk about your wishes.

They bring a giant black bouncer from a gay nightclub along with them, and now trailmaster does anal too.

I wish I had a decent wood stove to stave off this f***ing Siberian cold.

[trailmaster]

Wish granted, but in your zeal to get a decent wood buring stove you completely failed to read up on all the dangers of using a wood burning stove. You did not use the right kind of wood. You failed to have flame resistant carpeting installed in your house and flame retardant furniture covers. You are sitting by the stove drinking your favorite Glenfidditch scotch, and you gently fall asleep. Unknown to you is that the stove door was left slightly ajar. Sparks from the stove fly out of the stove and land on your plush pile carpeting and on one of your synthetic fabric sofas. At first there is just a little smouldering, but then all of a sudden your carpeting and your sofas burst into extremely hot and smoky fires. You wake up suddenly coughing. The smoke is so thick you can't see. You stumble around and kick over the stove. Now even more halfburned wood flies all over the place. In just a few minutes your whole house is ablaze and you don't have any fire extinguishers. Then you scream, because you are afire and before you can do anything you are a seared to a crisp corpse.


I wish I had my own luxury yacht so I could sail to far away places of wonder.

[Bill derBerg]

Originally Posted by trailmaster

...

I wish I had my own luxury yacht so I could sail to far away places of wonder.

Granted. However, yachts don't have sails they have engines. Shame you can't afford the fuel or the docking fees or the insurance. You attempt to live on your yacht but The Donald's new anti-immigration policy disallows boat people and you are deported to Cambodia.

I wish I could talk people into doing whatever I wanted them to do.

[trailmaster]

Granted. You're standing under an awning where some window washers are working. You spot this gorgeous women and go over to her and say to her."Let's go over to my place babe", and she agrees, but just as you and her start to go to your place there is this terrible sound and the awning that the window washers were standing on collapses. It falls on you and the dish crushing you both into a bag of blood.


I wish I had my own jet outfitted with all the luxuries. I have private pilots who will take me where ever I want to go.

[bowlinggreen]

Deaf Genie grants your wish to pet your pilots' privates. However, since they are not gay, they promptly give you a beatdown in the cockpit. In the ensuing chaos, controls and instruments are knocked asunder, and before the pilots can recover, you are headed for an unavoidable crash landing in the remote Pacific.

You are the only survivor, and wash ashore on a desert island, to spend the next ten years living like Tom Hanks in "Castaway".

I wish for an interplanetary spaceship, so I could fly to Mars and be the first man to set foot on it.