Post your corny jokes - Page 1267

**bp666** · August 28th, 2017, 07:43 PM

Have you ever wondered why they don't treat pyromaniacs with anti-inflammatory drugs?

**Ghaleon** · August 29th, 2017, 09:02 PM

Why did the Norwegians paint bar codes on all their military ships?

So when they returned to port they could Scandinavian.

**bp666** · September 1st, 2017, 06:42 PM

We all know Albert Einstein was a genius.

His brother Frank was a monster though...

**electile disfunction** · September 1st, 2017, 09:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bp666

We all know Albert Einstein was a genius.

His brother Frank was a monster though...

I thought Frank was a doctor!

e.d.

**Jake Gittes** · September 3rd, 2017, 11:06 AM

I went golfing with my friend once and he asked for a ball from his bag after he shanked (Sorry for swearing) one into the rough

Went to his bag to get him a new ball and found a spare pair of pants

As golfers tend to prefer their bags light I asked him what the spare pair of pants were for

He told me that they were there in case he gets a "Hole in One"

**gedly** · September 3rd, 2017, 03:30 PM

A retired Canadian who lives in Mexico calls his son in Toronto on Christmas Eve.
He says, "Hey son, I've been talking with your mother and we're thinking of taking you out of our wills".
The son says, "Why dad? Why have you made this decision? What's this all about?"
The dad says, "Yep, we're thinking of leaving all our money to a local clinic that's treated us. Tell your sister in Winnipeg that we're going to do the same with her as well."
The son says," Look, I'll fly over this evening so we can talk about this."
Later their daughter calls, "Brother has just spoken to me. What's this about us being left out of your wills? I'm flying over as well this evening to talk about this".
Dad then turns to his wife and says, "That's great. The kids are coming over for Christmas and they're making their own way here".

**maildude** · September 4th, 2017, 05:39 PM

Boy At Frat Party: Would you like to dance?
Gorgeous Coed: No thank you.
Boy At Frat Party: Well, then, I guess a blowjob is out of the question.

petvictor · September 5th, 2017, 02:39 PM

Cliff Richards says he,s getting a lot of online abuse,,,,He,s got himself a Spying Talking Tweeting Stalking Living Troll,,,,

Aaron · September 6th, 2017, 12:22 AM

Pinocchio's last name was Woodson.

**GailFan** · September 6th, 2017, 04:56 AM

The verdict is out on Kate's topless photographs.

They're awesome!

August 29th, 2017, 09:02 PM	#12662
Ghaleon Vintage Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Between Here & There Posts: 2,063 Thanks: 73,874 Thanked 34,771 Times in 2,064 Posts	Why did the Norwegians paint bar codes on all their military ships? So when they returned to port they could Scandinavian. __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

September 3rd, 2017, 11:06 AM	#12665
Jake Gittes Swimming in Ecstasy Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: Skinny dipping with mermaids in a beautiful, uncharted tropical paradise Posts: 6,093 Thanks: 145,461 Thanked 106,390 Times in 6,174 Posts	Did somebody want a Golf joke? I went golfing with my friend once and he asked for a ball from his bag after he shanked (Sorry for swearing) one into the rough Went to his bag to get him a new ball and found a spare pair of pants As golfers tend to prefer their bags light I asked him what the spare pair of pants were for He told me that they were there in case he gets a "Hole in One" __________________ If you come across a dead link in a post, PM the OP to see if it can be re-uploaded To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Please consider adding a note in your signature if you can re-upload your photos/video links To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Please PM me if any of my posts are down To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Life is easier when you don't take it too seriously To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

September 4th, 2017, 05:39 PM	#12667
maildude Vintage Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: In postal purgatory Posts: 760 Thanks: 1,162 Thanked 14,111 Times in 748 Posts	*Boy At Frat Party: Would you like to dance?* *Gorgeous Coed: No thank you.* *Boy At Frat Party: Well, then, I guess a blowjob is out of the question.* __________________ LET FREEDOM WAIT

September 6th, 2017, 04:56 AM	#12670
GailFan No longer active Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Suicide Alley Posts: 2,797 Thanks: 27,507 Thanked 61,938 Times in 2,770 Posts	The verdict is out on Kate's topless photographs. They're awesome! __________________ I am no longer active on VEF.

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August 28th, 2017, 07:43 PM	#12661
bp666 Vintage Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Posts: 1,073 Thanks: 77,455 Thanked 14,183 Times in 1,074 Posts	Have you ever wondered why they don't treat pyromaniacs with anti-inflammatory drugs?

September 1st, 2017, 06:42 PM	#12663
bp666 Vintage Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Posts: 1,073 Thanks: 77,455 Thanked 14,183 Times in 1,074 Posts	We all know Albert Einstein was a genius. His brother Frank was a monster though...

September 3rd, 2017, 03:30 PM	#12666
gedly Veteran Member Join Date: May 2007 Posts: 3,234 Thanks: 19,879 Thanked 69,303 Times in 3,171 Posts	A retired Canadian who lives in Mexico calls his son in Toronto on Christmas Eve. He says, "Hey son, I've been talking with your mother and we're thinking of taking you out of our wills". The son says, "Why dad? Why have you made this decision? What's this all about?" The dad says, "Yep, we're thinking of leaving all our money to a local clinic that's treated us. Tell your sister in Winnipeg that we're going to do the same with her as well." The son says," Look, I'll fly over this evening so we can talk about this." Later their daughter calls, "Brother has just spoken to me. What's this about us being left out of your wills? I'm flying over as well this evening to talk about this". Dad then turns to his wife and says, "That's great. The kids are coming over for Christmas and they're making their own way here".

September 5th, 2017, 02:39 PM	#12668
petvictor Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Posts: 56 Thanks: 1,012 Thanked 701 Times in 50 Posts	Cliff Richards says he,s getting a lot of online abuse,,,,He,s got himself a Spying Talking Tweeting Stalking Living Troll,,,,

September 6th, 2017, 12:22 AM	#12669
Aaron Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2014 Location: U.S. of A. Posts: 206 Thanks: 6,639 Thanked 2,740 Times in 201 Posts	Pinocchio's last name was Woodson.