And In Other News Today - Page 24

**trailmaster** · September 12th, 2016, 10:51 PM

And In Other News Today, Breaking news from China picked up by a listening post in the Chinese capitol and then relayed to Norad in Colorado Springs. The Chinese Supreme leader has been murdered by his subordinates. As we have reported in the past few weeks a nuclear tipped ballistic missle flew off course from North Korea and hit the Great Wall of China destroying half of it and killing several thousand inhabitants and tourists. The Chinese response to this was to olbiterate the North Korean Army , Air Force and Navy, but the Chinese Supreme leader wanted more. He insisted that North Korea be completely destroyed. His subordinates said that cannot happen , because the Americans and Russians would stop us and freeze our accounts. The Chinese leader became livid and crazy in his demands and it is then that his subordinates decided that he might be going insane and shot him. Thus ends this almost unbelievable saga that started when an imbecilic North Korean chose a ballistic missle they were going to test that mistakenly had an armed 50 kiloton nuclear warhead on it!!!

**trailmaster** · September 15th, 2016, 04:57 PM

And In Other News Today, breaking news comes from NASA. That alien ship detected many posts ago that was on a trip to Earth, but then chickened out is on the move again. This time they are heading to Earth for sure. Luckily Einstein was right. Nothing of any mass can go faster than the speed of light so it will take this ship a long time to get here. It gives us time to prepare for the worst. Keep looking to the skies. BTW this won't be like that movie:E.T. these creatures headed our way are not benevolent. They are savage, hostile, aggressive, and they want to eat us

**bloke57** · September 15th, 2016, 05:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by trailmaster

They are savage, hostile, aggressive, and they want to eat us[/COLOR][/SIZE]

Doesn't bother me - I've been to Glasgow.

garthok newo · September 15th, 2016, 05:25 PM

CKLW was a powerhouse radio station back in the day known for an over the top reporting style. here is an example:

"Another deadly duo of Detroit dastardly deeds as the dice decreed death disagreement over seven come eleven. Now she's in heaven, the man who delivered that double barreled death with his package of penetrating pellets has been pounded in the pen.
In another case of hot lead in the head...

**wimbo77** · September 15th, 2016, 07:55 PM

Giant inflatable moon causes chaos on streets of China

http://www.itv.com/news/2016-09-15/g...eets-of-china/

A giant inflatable moon broke loose in high winds and rolled across the southeast city of Fuzhou in China on Wednesday causing chaos in its streets.

Estreeter · September 16th, 2016, 01:36 PM

And in other news today.......

Pope Francis, it's rumoured, has been discovered to be a member on a well known and worlds best run internet forum, VEF, under the username "Banned" , seems he likes posting in the "Are You An Atheist" thread

**@llatse@** · September 16th, 2016, 01:42 PM

And finally.......Disgaraced former UK Prime Minister, Tony Blair claimed he was closer to God by walking on water and not getting his feet wet.....it was later discovered B-liar had used a bridge.

**trailmaster** · September 19th, 2016, 12:24 PM

And In Other News Today: Are you sure we are doing the right thing. A year ago one of our deep space probes found that strange space vehicle called Voyager and it had inside this large gold disc. On the disc there were these creatures called humans showing parts of their world and sending greetings in many languages. Our scientists studied that disc and concluded that it was a ruse to get us to come to their planet and maybe be conquered, but over the last year our scientists now say that the Earthmen are very primitive, thousand of years behind us technologically. They pose no threat. They must be pretty stupid to send out that Voyager probe thinking it would be picked up by some benevelont race. Those type of races make up a small percentage of the galaxy and most of them have either destroyed themselves with their own foolishness or been conquered by stronger races like us. When we come to a backward planet we conquer!, we rule! This time we are going to the Earth and we will conquer, rule and rape their planet of all its minerals, water and then harvest all the life. It will take our ship about a year to reach them.

**tygrkhat40** · September 19th, 2016, 02:34 PM

Saturday Night Live did a skit about aliens finding the Voyager record and playing it. The first message from the aliens was "MORE CHUCK BERRY!"

**trailmaster** · September 19th, 2016, 10:33 PM

And In Other News Today. From S.E.T.I (The Search For Extra-Terrestrial Intelligence): The Hubble telescope picked up a year ago what looked like an armada of spaceships coming from an area of space where Voyager launched in 1977 eventually disappeared, about 50 light years from Earth, but then a few days later the ships vanished. Now a single 10 mile wide spherical ship seems to be coming along the same tangent toward Earth. It is moving at a speed of 0.999 C , which means that with the time dilation effect the ship will be here within one year. All of the best scientists and all the GNP of all nations must be used to begin to investigate and build weapons that could be used to repel what looks like an alien invasion. We must spare no expense. Our very existence as a species may be in jeopardy!!

September 15th, 2016, 05:25 PM	#234
garthok newo Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Posts: 297 Thanks: 92,470 Thanked 3,812 Times in 276 Posts	from a newscast 1960's CKLW was a powerhouse radio station back in the day known for an over the top reporting style. here is an example: "Another deadly duo of Detroit dastardly deeds as the dice decreed death disagreement over seven come eleven. Now she's in heaven, the man who delivered that double barreled death with his package of penetrating pellets has been pounded in the pen. In another case of hot lead in the head...

September 15th, 2016, 07:55 PM	#235
wimbo77 Veteran Member Join Date: Oct 2015 Posts: 9,115 Thanks: 130,160 Thanked 144,396 Times in 9,160 Posts	Giant inflatable moon causes chaos on streets of China http://www.itv.com/news/2016-09-15/g...eets-of-china/ A giant inflatable moon broke loose in high winds and rolled across the southeast city of Fuzhou in China on Wednesday causing chaos in its streets. __________________

September 16th, 2016, 01:36 PM	#236
Estreeter *Administrator* Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: The 19th hole Posts: 58,189 Thanks: 450,173 Thanked 897,602 Times in 60,391 Posts	And in other news today....... Pope Francis, it's rumoured, has been discovered to be a member on a well known and worlds best run internet forum, VEF, under the username "Banned" , seems he likes posting in the "Are You An Atheist" thread __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

September 16th, 2016, 01:42 PM	#237
@llatse@ Vintage Member Join Date: May 2008 Location: Over the hills and far away Posts: 2,150 Thanks: 7,755 Thanked 24,866 Times in 2,098 Posts	And finally.......Disgaraced former UK Prime Minister, Tony Blair claimed he was closer to God by walking on water and not getting his feet wet.....it was later discovered B-liar had used a bridge. __________________ Lord, we might end up dead or worse, poor

September 19th, 2016, 02:34 PM	#239
tygrkhat40 Long Suffering Bills Fan Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: The City of Good Neighbors Posts: 9,669 Thanks: 304,243 Thanked 153,135 Times in 9,629 Posts	Saturday Night Live did a skit about aliens finding the Voyager record and playing it. The first message from the aliens was "MORE CHUCK BERRY!" __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

September 12th, 2016, 10:51 PM	#231
trailmaster Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2013 Location: Chicago, Illinois, USA Posts: 59,933 Thanks: 1,329,434 Thanked 707,596 Times in 60,107 Posts	And In Other News Today, Breaking news from China picked up by a listening post in the Chinese capitol and then relayed to Norad in Colorado Springs. The Chinese Supreme leader has been murdered by his subordinates. As we have reported in the past few weeks a nuclear tipped ballistic missle flew off course from North Korea and hit the Great Wall of China destroying half of it and killing several thousand inhabitants and tourists. The Chinese response to this was to olbiterate the North Korean Army , Air Force and Navy, but the Chinese Supreme leader wanted more. He insisted that North Korea be completely destroyed. His subordinates said that cannot happen , because the Americans and Russians would stop us and freeze our accounts. The Chinese leader became livid and crazy in his demands and it is then that his subordinates decided that he might be going insane and shot him. Thus ends this almost unbelievable saga that started when an imbecilic North Korean chose a ballistic missle they were going to test that mistakenly had an armed 50 kiloton nuclear warhead on it!!!

September 15th, 2016, 04:57 PM	#232
trailmaster Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2013 Location: Chicago, Illinois, USA Posts: 59,933 Thanks: 1,329,434 Thanked 707,596 Times in 60,107 Posts	And In Other News Today, breaking news comes from NASA. That alien ship detected many posts ago that was on a trip to Earth, but then chickened out is on the move again. This time they are heading to Earth for sure. Luckily Einstein was right. Nothing of any mass can go faster than the speed of light so it will take this ship a long time to get here. It gives us time to prepare for the worst. Keep looking to the skies. BTW this won't be like that movie:E.T. these creatures headed our way are not benevolent. They are savage, hostile, aggressive, and they want to eat us

September 19th, 2016, 12:24 PM	#238
trailmaster Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2013 Location: Chicago, Illinois, USA Posts: 59,933 Thanks: 1,329,434 Thanked 707,596 Times in 60,107 Posts	And In Other News Today: Are you sure we are doing the right thing. A year ago one of our deep space probes found that strange space vehicle called Voyager and it had inside this large gold disc. On the disc there were these creatures called humans showing parts of their world and sending greetings in many languages. Our scientists studied that disc and concluded that it was a ruse to get us to come to their planet and maybe be conquered, but over the last year our scientists now say that the Earthmen are very primitive, thousand of years behind us technologically. They pose no threat. They must be pretty stupid to send out that Voyager probe thinking it would be picked up by some benevelont race. Those type of races make up a small percentage of the galaxy and most of them have either destroyed themselves with their own foolishness or been conquered by stronger races like us. When we come to a backward planet we conquer!, we rule! This time we are going to the Earth and we will conquer, rule and rape their planet of all its minerals, water and then harvest all the life. It will take our ship about a year to reach them.

September 19th, 2016, 10:33 PM	#240
trailmaster Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2013 Location: Chicago, Illinois, USA Posts: 59,933 Thanks: 1,329,434 Thanked 707,596 Times in 60,107 Posts	And In Other News Today. From S.E.T.I (The Search For Extra-Terrestrial Intelligence): The Hubble telescope picked up a year ago what looked like an armada of spaceships coming from an area of space where Voyager launched in 1977 eventually disappeared, about 50 light years from Earth, but then a few days later the ships vanished. Now a single 10 mile wide spherical ship seems to be coming along the same tangent toward Earth. It is moving at a speed of 0.999 C , which means that with the time dilation effect the ship will be here within one year. All of the best scientists and all the GNP of all nations must be used to begin to investigate and build weapons that could be used to repel what looks like an alien invasion. We must spare no expense. Our very existence as a species may be in jeopardy!!