Post your corny jokes - Page 1453

**Mal Hombre** · April 22nd, 2019, 07:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gedly

My grandad built hanging gallows. Bottom just fell out of the market.

Was He suspended ?

**fatrat1** · April 22nd, 2019, 09:34 AM

Went to a Shoe Menders convention. Left after 5 minutes as it was a load of cobblers.

**fatrat1** · April 22nd, 2019, 09:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mal Hombre

Was He suspended ?

If he hangs around the market is bound to pick up.

**gedly** · April 22nd, 2019, 09:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mal Hombre

Was He suspended ?

No but he did feel that he'd been left to hang out and dry.

**Spruce** · April 23rd, 2019, 11:18 AM

Viagra...It wont make you James Bond, but it will make you Roger Moore

**seldomseen** · April 23rd, 2019, 11:19 AM

Where do you find a cow with no legs?

Right where you left it.

**trailmaster** · April 23rd, 2019, 12:35 PM

A lawyer is standing in a long line at the box office. Suddenly, he feels a pair of hands kneading his shoulders, back, and neck. The lawyer turns around.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?" "I'm a chiropractor, and I'm just keeping in practice while I'm waiting in line."
"Well. I'm a lawyer, but you don't see me screwing the guy in front of me, do you?"

**BCFC_1982** · April 23rd, 2019, 01:54 PM

Apparently my ideal job is Waste Management Consultant.

I think that's just rubbish.

**Mal Hombre** · April 23rd, 2019, 02:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BCFC_1982

Apparently my ideal job is Waste Management Consultant.

I think that's just rubbish.

No need to be down in the dumps...

**trailmaster** · April 24th, 2019, 12:43 PM

You're finally old enough to go trick or treating by yourself, and then they gotta give you that talk. Alright, son, just go door to door and get the candy, that's all you gotta do, Just go get the candy. Knock on the door, go to the next house, get more candy, and it's all yours. Get to keep it all. Have fun, get lots of candy. Oh yeah, one more thing I forgot to tell you, son-- be careful cause the candy might have razor blades in it!

Oh my God, what a horrible thing to tell an 18-year-old.....

April 22nd, 2019, 09:34 AM	#14522
fatrat1 Veteran Member Join Date: Jul 2016 Posts: 2,711 Thanks: 52,530 Thanked 27,292 Times in 2,644 Posts	Went to a Shoe Menders convention. Left after 5 minutes as it was a load of cobblers. __________________ My Avatar is To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

April 23rd, 2019, 11:19 AM	#14526
seldomseen Veteran Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Posts: 38,203 Thanks: 127,400 Thanked 712,150 Times in 38,112 Posts	Where do you find a cow with no legs? Right where you left it. __________________ -------------------------------------------------------------- Some hae meat, and canna eat.

April 23rd, 2019, 01:54 PM	#14528
BCFC_1982 Fiona Cooper Enthusiast Join Date: Mar 2014 Location: England Posts: 6,545 Thanks: 109,012 Thanked 106,995 Times in 6,821 Posts	Apparently my ideal job is Waste Management Consultant. I think that's just rubbish. __________________ All my later posts (2017+) have 3% recovery records in the RAR files To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. PM me in relation to anything Fiona Cooper

April 24th, 2019, 12:43 PM	#14530
trailmaster Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2013 Location: Chicago, Illinois, USA Posts: 59,945 Thanks: 1,329,548 Thanked 707,725 Times in 60,119 Posts	You're finally old enough to go trick or treating by yourself, and then they gotta give you that talk. Alright, son, just go door to door and get the candy, that's all you gotta do, Just go get the candy. Knock on the door, go to the next house, get more candy, and it's all yours. Get to keep it all. Have fun, get lots of candy. Oh yeah, one more thing I forgot to tell you, son-- be careful cause the candy might have razor blades in it! Oh my God, what a horrible thing to tell an 18-year-old..... Last edited by trailmaster; April 24th, 2019 at 08:58 PM..

April 23rd, 2019, 11:18 AM	#14525
Spruce Veteran Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Posts: 12,508 Thanks: 48,704 Thanked 648,729 Times in 13,023 Posts	Viagra...It wont make you James Bond, but it will make you Roger Moore

April 23rd, 2019, 12:35 PM	#14527
trailmaster Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2013 Location: Chicago, Illinois, USA Posts: 59,945 Thanks: 1,329,548 Thanked 707,725 Times in 60,119 Posts	A lawyer is standing in a long line at the box office. Suddenly, he feels a pair of hands kneading his shoulders, back, and neck. The lawyer turns around. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" "I'm a chiropractor, and I'm just keeping in practice while I'm waiting in line." "Well. I'm a lawyer, but you don't see me screwing the guy in front of me, do you?"