The corrupt a wish game - Page 321

**bowlinggreen** · December 7th, 2016, 04:06 PM

Ouch, you really corrupted my single malt fantasy.

Let's see... your lobby party is scheduled, but unbeknownst to you the building is under new management. When you get there you notice there are many men who are suspiciously dressed, wearing a lot of leather and in general looking like knockoffs of Freddie Mercury. So you circulate, drinking all sorts of holiday drinks pressed upon you by the various party attendees. As you get drunk, you don't notice the winks being passed back and forth.

After awhile your new building manager cries, "time to exchange presents!" What? You think, nobody said anything about bringing presents. "You didn't bring a present!?" cries the building mananger with an evil grin, "then you'll have to play Santa!"

As it turns out, your new building manager was the crazed owner of a gay leather club, who lost his establishment when he decided to have an indoor fireworks display celebrating gay pride day and burned the place down! And he has invited all of his friends to the party, and they've been waiting for an old codger like you to be their Santa.

Over your protests, you are dragged to Santa's throne and stripped down and put in Santa's costume, which consists of Santa's boots, his hat... and nothing else. Too drunk by now to resist, you loll drunkenly on the throne as a whole procession of gay men proceed to get naked and sit on "Santa's" lap to tell him what they want for Christmas.

Unfortunately, all off those shaved gay bottoms rubbing on your lap get your drunken member standing at attention, and after while the worst happens. You spew Christmas cheer all over somebody's cheeks while the rest of the gay crowd howls in approval. Your wife, who is watching from behind the Christmas tree, never forgives you. Your neighbor has taken plenty of pics with his cell phone to commemorate the event as well, and passes them out later to all of your neighbors.

Merry Christmas.

I wish I was getting a new Corvette for Christmas.

**Sir Honkers** · December 7th, 2016, 08:25 PM

Now those last two corruptions deserve an award.

**trailmaster** · December 7th, 2016, 10:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by loosegoose

Now those last two corruptions deserve an award.

Ok. Send me a first class round trip ticket to Australia, and pay for my two week stay at the best hotel in Perth.

**Sir Honkers** · December 8th, 2016, 10:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by trailmaster

Ok. Send me a first class round trip ticket to Australia, and pay for my two week stay at the best hotel in Perth.

You wish!

**trailmaster** · December 8th, 2016, 11:06 AM

To get back to bowlinggreen's wish for a new Corvette for Christmas.
Wish Granted. It's Christmas Day, although there was a terrible snowstorm the night before. The winds were howling at 60 mph, and 30 inches of snow fell. bowlinggreen heard this crashing sound during the night, but he was in dreamland, so when he woke up he thought: "Oh it's just some stupid dream". Then he looks out the window and see's all the snow. You are elated. "It's a white Christmas, yay, yay", then he falls back to sleep. The next morning the sun is shining through his bedroom curtains, but he hears this noisy commotion outside and sees a firetruck, a police van and other vehicles. He thinks to himself:What the f....k He gets dressed real fast so he can go out to see what has happened. He has a hard time opening his front door because of all the snow, but eventually he manages to get out. He sees that his neighbor's house burned down, and power lines have fallen all over the street. Then he says to himself: "Oh no, Oh no" and he runs to the garage. There is a big wrapped brand new corvette under a tarp crushed flat by two great oak trees that were blown down during the night. On the tarp is a note that says: Merry Christmas , from Santa ,you sucker!!

I wish for a box of chocolates the way they used to make it when I was young, with malted milk balls, chocolate covered cherries, fruits, different kinds of chocolate covered creams ( red-cherry flavored, yellow-lemon flavored, white-coconut flavored) and chocolate covered fruit peels. There is none of this now, and the chocolate that is made now tastes like sh...t!

**Sir Honkers** · December 8th, 2016, 08:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by trailmaster

I wish for a box of chocolates the way they used to make it when I was young, with malted milk balls, chocolate covered cherries, fruits, different kinds of chocolate covered creams ( red-cherry flavored, yellow-lemon flavored, white-coconut flavored) and chocolate covered fruit peels. There is none of this now, and the chocolate that is made now tastes like sh...t!

Granted. One day while going through some old boxes you have stored in the basement of your building you come across a present your parents bought for you for your tenth birthday, but for some reason forgot to give you. Excitedly you pull off the wrapping and discover it is a box of malted milk balls, chocolate covered cherries, fruits, different kinds of chocolate covered creams and chocolate covered fruit peels. Knowing that chocolate doesn't go off you scoff the lot.
Unfortunately the same cannot be said for cherries, fruits and fruit peels.
Your neighbours find you several hours later, curled up in a ball clutching your stomach and screaming in agony. You spend the rest of the festive season with chronic diarrhoea.
I wish to get Emma Watson dressed in a Hogwarts school uniform for Christmas.

**trailmaster** · December 9th, 2016, 12:29 PM

Wish granted, however, once Emma Watson now much older is put into a Hogwarts school uniform she is transformed into what she was in the Harry Potter movies, a witch. She says: "Hey what the f...k. I am older now. I have gone beyond that Harry Potter nonsense. Are you to blame for this?" She aims the wand at you and voila!!

The police come later and identify the headless man as this guy who's alias was loosegoose. Emma Watson is nowhere to be found.

I wish to have the super ability to read minds so that I could tell when I meet a gorgeous woman if she is attracted to me.

**bowlinggreen** · December 9th, 2016, 05:53 PM

Wish granted. But it turns out that NO gorgeous woman is attracted to you. So you have to listen to their insulting and demeaning thoughts. "Does that old man actually think I would touch his nasty lizard dick?" "Is that guy a rapist?" "Eeeek, look at that old guy letching on me! I bet he wears Depends!" And so on and so on.

After a few weeks of this, you fall into a profound depression. You decide to try some erotic asphyxiation in the upstairs closet, daring God to work his will on you. Predictably, the chair you were balancing on breaks.

Your epitaph reads:

Here lies the old and decrepit trailmaster
stroked his flaccid weenie faster and faster
until one day God thundered "Thou does tempt fate!
I will teach you to eroto-asphyxiate!"

I wish that time would speed up after Christmas so that the rest of winter is only two weeks long.

**Fappy Gilmore** · December 9th, 2016, 05:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by trailmaster

I wish to have the super ability to read minds so that I could tell when I meet a gorgeous woman if she is attracted to me.

Hopeless Pokus! you find yourself on a Mars, sitting in front of a large stage, behind a table of 100 other alien like judges of a (literal) miss universe beauty pageant. One by one as the contestants, each more beautiful than the last, makes their way through their personal routine your brain is flooded with voices of disgust and utter disappointment of being judged by a meager human. Your ability is so super infact you don't even need to meet gorgeous women from earth to read their minds you just hear their soul crushing opinions constantly, as well. With tears you ask a judge beside you 'how long does this pageant last?'..you are met with a strange chuckle and return question of 'How big do you think the universe is?'

I wish I could see live all those great concerts of my favorite bands and artists from past or present.

Bill derBerg · December 10th, 2016, 02:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bowlinggreen

...

I wish that time would speed up after Christmas so that the rest of winter is only two weeks long.

Granted. However, you forgot to tell time to slow down after winter ends so on it speeds until one day time fractures and there are Morlocks standing on your lawn. You think you are off to work in the mines but they have a more sinister plan for you. They are going to make you eat Pop Tarts and watch I Love Lucy reruns until you go mental. Eight minutes into this torture you are begging for death.

I wish TV would stop dividing series into fall and spring episodes.

December 7th, 2016, 04:06 PM	#3201
bowlinggreen Veteran Member Join Date: Apr 2015 Posts: 4,192 Thanks: 48,676 Thanked 49,166 Times in 4,188 Posts	Ouch, you really corrupted my single malt fantasy. Let's see... your lobby party is scheduled, but unbeknownst to you the building is under new management. When you get there you notice there are many men who are suspiciously dressed, wearing a lot of leather and in general looking like knockoffs of Freddie Mercury. So you circulate, drinking all sorts of holiday drinks pressed upon you by the various party attendees. As you get drunk, you don't notice the winks being passed back and forth. After awhile your new building manager cries, "time to exchange presents!" What? You think, nobody said anything about bringing presents. "You didn't bring a present!?" cries the building mananger with an evil grin, "then you'll have to play Santa!" As it turns out, your new building manager was the crazed owner of a gay leather club, who lost his establishment when he decided to have an indoor fireworks display celebrating gay pride day and burned the place down! And he has invited all of his friends to the party, and they've been waiting for an old codger like you to be their Santa. Over your protests, you are dragged to Santa's throne and stripped down and put in Santa's costume, which consists of Santa's boots, his hat... and nothing else. Too drunk by now to resist, you loll drunkenly on the throne as a whole procession of gay men proceed to get naked and sit on "Santa's" lap to tell him what they want for Christmas. Unfortunately, all off those shaved gay bottoms rubbing on your lap get your drunken member standing at attention, and after while the worst happens. You spew Christmas cheer all over somebody's cheeks while the rest of the gay crowd howls in approval. Your wife, who is watching from behind the Christmas tree, never forgives you. Your neighbor has taken plenty of pics with his cell phone to commemorate the event as well, and passes them out later to all of your neighbors. Merry Christmas. I wish I was getting a new Corvette for Christmas. __________________ So much porn, so little time...

December 9th, 2016, 12:29 PM	#3207
trailmaster Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2013 Location: Chicago, Illinois, USA Posts: 59,888 Thanks: 1,328,972 Thanked 707,169 Times in 60,062 Posts	Wish granted, however, once Emma Watson now much older is put into a Hogwarts school uniform she is transformed into what she was in the Harry Potter movies, a witch. She says: "Hey what the f...k. I am older now. I have gone beyond that Harry Potter nonsense. Are you to blame for this?" She aims the wand at you and voila!! The police come later and identify the headless man as this guy who's alias was loosegoose. Emma Watson is nowhere to be found. I wish to have the super ability to read minds so that I could tell when I meet a gorgeous woman if she is attracted to me. Last edited by trailmaster; June 20th, 2017 at 01:23 PM..

December 9th, 2016, 05:53 PM	#3208
bowlinggreen Veteran Member Join Date: Apr 2015 Posts: 4,192 Thanks: 48,676 Thanked 49,166 Times in 4,188 Posts	Wish granted. But it turns out that NO gorgeous woman is attracted to you. So you have to listen to their insulting and demeaning thoughts. "Does that old man actually think I would touch his nasty lizard dick?" "Is that guy a rapist?" "Eeeek, look at that old guy letching on me! I bet he wears Depends!" And so on and so on. After a few weeks of this, you fall into a profound depression. You decide to try some erotic asphyxiation in the upstairs closet, daring God to work his will on you. Predictably, the chair you were balancing on breaks. Your epitaph reads: Here lies the old and decrepit trailmaster stroked his flaccid weenie faster and faster until one day God thundered "Thou does tempt fate! I will teach you to eroto-asphyxiate!" I wish that time would speed up after Christmas so that the rest of winter is only two weeks long. __________________ So much porn, so little time... Last edited by bowlinggreen; December 10th, 2016 at 11:00 AM..

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December 7th, 2016, 08:25 PM	#3202
Sir Honkers Veteran Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Land Of Glorious Leader Posts: 30,341 Thanks: 286,789 Thanked 386,138 Times in 30,296 Posts	Now those last two corruptions deserve an award.

December 8th, 2016, 11:06 AM	#3205
trailmaster Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2013 Location: Chicago, Illinois, USA Posts: 59,888 Thanks: 1,328,972 Thanked 707,169 Times in 60,062 Posts	To get back to bowlinggreen's wish for a new Corvette for Christmas. Wish Granted. It's Christmas Day, although there was a terrible snowstorm the night before. The winds were howling at 60 mph, and 30 inches of snow fell. bowlinggreen heard this crashing sound during the night, but he was in dreamland, so when he woke up he thought: "Oh it's just some stupid dream". Then he looks out the window and see's all the snow. You are elated. "It's a white Christmas, yay, yay", then he falls back to sleep. The next morning the sun is shining through his bedroom curtains, but he hears this noisy commotion outside and sees a firetruck, a police van and other vehicles. He thinks to himself:What the f....k He gets dressed real fast so he can go out to see what has happened. He has a hard time opening his front door because of all the snow, but eventually he manages to get out. He sees that his neighbor's house burned down, and power lines have fallen all over the street. Then he says to himself: "Oh no, Oh no" and he runs to the garage. There is a big wrapped brand new corvette under a tarp crushed flat by two great oak trees that were blown down during the night. On the tarp is a note that says: Merry Christmas , from Santa ,you sucker!! I wish for a box of chocolates the way they used to make it when I was young, with malted milk balls, chocolate covered cherries, fruits, different kinds of chocolate covered creams ( red-cherry flavored, yellow-lemon flavored, white-coconut flavored) and chocolate covered fruit peels. There is none of this now, and the chocolate that is made now tastes like sh...t!