Register on the forum now to remove ALL ads + popups + get access to tons of hidden content for members only!
vintage erotica forum vintage erotica forum vintage erotica forum
vintage erotica forum

Go Back   Vintage Erotica Forums > Discussion & Talk Forum > Funnies

Follow Vintage Erotica Forum on Twitter
Best Porn Sites Meet Our Girls Register FAQ Members List Calendar Mark Forums Read

Notices
Funnies Got a joke or something funny that you want to share? Post it here!


Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 05-14-2018, 10:38 PM   #13721
}[eywood
Senior Member
 
}[eywood's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: NY
Posts: 412
Thanks: 89
Thanked 2,766 Times in 392 Posts
}[eywood 10000+}[eywood 10000+}[eywood 10000+}[eywood 10000+}[eywood 10000+}[eywood 10000+}[eywood 10000+}[eywood 10000+}[eywood 10000+}[eywood 10000+}[eywood 10000+
Default

One pleasant Sunday afternoon a man was out in his driveway washing his car with his son.

After a short time the son says "Dad?"

The father replies "Yes, son?"

"Couldn't you use a sponge instead?"
__________________
Just because a woman is willing to fuck on camera doesn't mean she's worth filming.
}[eywood is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 11 Users Say Thank You to }[eywood For This Useful Post:
Old 05-14-2018, 10:55 PM   #13722
gedly
Veteran Member
 
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 2,308
Thanks: 8,876
Thanked 45,535 Times in 2,187 Posts
gedly 175000+gedly 175000+gedly 175000+gedly 175000+gedly 175000+gedly 175000+gedly 175000+gedly 175000+gedly 175000+gedly 175000+gedly 175000+
Default

I once had a girlfriend called Encyclopaedia. She had an answer for everything.
gedly is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 17 Users Say Thank You to gedly For This Useful Post:
Old 05-15-2018, 10:55 PM   #13723
mrfixit
Vintage Member
 
mrfixit's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Elm Street
Posts: 1,408
Thanks: 67,899
Thanked 15,023 Times in 1,421 Posts
mrfixit 50000+mrfixit 50000+mrfixit 50000+mrfixit 50000+mrfixit 50000+mrfixit 50000+mrfixit 50000+mrfixit 50000+mrfixit 50000+mrfixit 50000+mrfixit 50000+
Default

__________________

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


Where's my Illudium PU-36 Explosive Space Modulator?
mrfixit is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 19 Users Say Thank You to mrfixit For This Useful Post:
Old 05-16-2018, 01:00 PM   #13724
Aaron
Senior Member
 
Aaron's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Indiana USA
Posts: 160
Thanks: 5,506
Thanked 1,976 Times in 157 Posts
Aaron 5000+Aaron 5000+Aaron 5000+Aaron 5000+Aaron 5000+Aaron 5000+Aaron 5000+Aaron 5000+Aaron 5000+Aaron 5000+Aaron 5000+
Default

My boss is a real ass man. He only cares about The Bottom Line.
Aaron is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 12 Users Say Thank You to Aaron For This Useful Post:
Old 05-17-2018, 12:10 AM   #13725
rondori
Vintage Member
 
rondori's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: New Mexico
Posts: 515
Thanks: 19,080
Thanked 11,425 Times in 489 Posts
rondori 50000+rondori 50000+rondori 50000+rondori 50000+rondori 50000+rondori 50000+rondori 50000+rondori 50000+rondori 50000+rondori 50000+rondori 50000+
Default

last photo on domestic victim's cell phone
__________________
I'm OK, you're UKE: all cultures are multicultural, all races are multiracial.
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

rondori is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 15 Users Say Thank You to rondori For This Useful Post:
Old 05-17-2018, 01:22 AM   #13726
bfg9000
Vintage Member
 
bfg9000's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: In between Shirley Manson's thighs mostly
Posts: 585
Thanks: 6,483
Thanked 5,081 Times in 568 Posts
bfg9000 25000+bfg9000 25000+bfg9000 25000+bfg9000 25000+bfg9000 25000+bfg9000 25000+bfg9000 25000+bfg9000 25000+bfg9000 25000+bfg9000 25000+bfg9000 25000+
Default

I had a pet hen that I enlisted in the military. After the hen's tour of duty I asked the sargeant what she did. He replied that she was with a weapons unit of other hens that supplied weapons to the soldiers. They mixed gunpowder with their feed so they would lay hen grenades!
__________________

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
]

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

"I am the head of my state, the minister of my own church" --- Shirley Manson
"I am immortal now so watch out you freaks!"--- Shirley Manson
bfg9000 is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 13 Users Say Thank You to bfg9000 For This Useful Post:
Old 05-17-2018, 06:07 PM   #13727
mrfixit
Vintage Member
 
mrfixit's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Elm Street
Posts: 1,408
Thanks: 67,899
Thanked 15,023 Times in 1,421 Posts
mrfixit 50000+mrfixit 50000+mrfixit 50000+mrfixit 50000+mrfixit 50000+mrfixit 50000+mrfixit 50000+mrfixit 50000+mrfixit 50000+mrfixit 50000+mrfixit 50000+
Default

A woman was asked to give a talk on the power of prayer to her local women’s group. With her husband sitting in the audience, she recounted how they had turned to God when her husband suffered an unfortunate accident.
“Three months ago,” she began, “my husband Colin was knocked off his bicycle and his scrotum was smashed. The pain was excruciating and the doctors didn’t know if they could help him. They warned that our lives might never be the same again. Colin was unable to get close to either me or the children and every move caused him enormous discomfort. It meant we could no longer touch him around the scrotum.
“So we prayed that the doctors would be able to repair him. Fortunately our prayers were answered and they were able to piece together the crushed remnants of Colin’s scrotum and wrap wire around it to hold it in place. They said he should make a complete recovery and regain full use of his scrotum.”
As the audience burst into spontaneous applause, a lone man walked up to the stage. He announced: “Good afternoon. My name is Colin, and I just want to tell my wife once again that the word is ‘sternum’.”
__________________

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


Where's my Illudium PU-36 Explosive Space Modulator?
mrfixit is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 17 Users Say Thank You to mrfixit For This Useful Post:
Old 05-18-2018, 04:47 PM   #13728
photoflex
Vintage Member
 
photoflex's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Location: Location
Posts: 2,666
Thanks: 29,545
Thanked 77,744 Times in 2,634 Posts
photoflex 350000+photoflex 350000+photoflex 350000+photoflex 350000+photoflex 350000+photoflex 350000+photoflex 350000+photoflex 350000+photoflex 350000+photoflex 350000+photoflex 350000+
Default

2 dogs in a bar

Dog 1: "I heard a great joke today"

Dog 2: "Let's hear it then"

Dog 1: "Knock kno..."

Dog 2: goes fucking mental
__________________
I love your thanks, but please thank original posters first, then me.
My avatar is waiting for an ID. Anybody?
photoflex is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 15 Users Say Thank You to photoflex For This Useful Post:
Old 05-18-2018, 10:14 PM   #13729
photoflex
Vintage Member
 
photoflex's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Location: Location
Posts: 2,666
Thanks: 29,545
Thanked 77,744 Times in 2,634 Posts
photoflex 350000+photoflex 350000+photoflex 350000+photoflex 350000+photoflex 350000+photoflex 350000+photoflex 350000+photoflex 350000+photoflex 350000+photoflex 350000+photoflex 350000+
Default

My friend just gave me Forrest Gump, Saving Private Ryan, and Big for free.
T. Hanks for nothing.
__________________
I love your thanks, but please thank original posters first, then me.
My avatar is waiting for an ID. Anybody?
photoflex is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 14 Users Say Thank You to photoflex For This Useful Post:
Old 05-19-2018, 02:17 PM   #13730
Grouchy
Senior Member
 
Grouchy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 243
Thanks: 1,969
Thanked 2,123 Times in 224 Posts
Grouchy 10000+Grouchy 10000+Grouchy 10000+Grouchy 10000+Grouchy 10000+Grouchy 10000+Grouchy 10000+Grouchy 10000+Grouchy 10000+Grouchy 10000+Grouchy 10000+
Default

Prince Harry said that he didn't want the traditional fruit cake at his wedding reception.




Prince Philip said sod that, he was going anyway...
Grouchy is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 10 Users Say Thank You to Grouchy For This Useful Post:
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump




All times are GMT. The time now is 10:43 PM.






vBulletin Optimisation provided by vB Optimise v2.6.1 (Pro) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2018 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.