The Biscuit Review Corner - Page 2

**billybunter** · September 21st, 2012, 07:53 PM

I very very rarely eat anything sweet. No sweet tooth. If you ever have to withdraw from alcohol which I have done in double figures, you crave sweets. Alcohol as you know is full of sugar. I would discuss alcohol more, but the thread has gone??

**Greenman** · September 21st, 2012, 08:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NIN

This thread was much more tasteful when it ended silently on Greenmans' awful joke

Hey! It was all the rage when I was a schoolkid!

Biscuits are a real connoisseur art form these days-not just some mangy looking Brookyln-speaking panda that can't pronounce biscuits. If Jeremy Clarkson had to review a biscuit it might go something like this.

"The humble penguin biscuit, a thin layer of chocolate, sandwiched together between biscuit to create a fusion of chocolate and biscuit, the poor man's TWIX if you like, about as exciting as one of James May's anecdotes or Hammond's endless diatribe on American muscle cars but tastier than a Supermodel covered in tomato ketchup. Yes the penguin biscuit comes in it's own wrapper and keeps in the fridge a lot longer than some other open biscuits I could mention. I didn't know that millions of these things are sold every week...but I do NOW!" And on that bombshell....goodnight!

**rotobott** · September 21st, 2012, 08:09 PM

I like biscuits, I have been pondering over which biscuit I like most,I come back to the thread, and it has been hijacked, you heartless bastards, is nothing sacred

**vo1v0d** · September 21st, 2012, 08:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NIN

This thread was much more tasteful when it ended silently on Greenmans' awful joke

Tasteful?

You poor deluded sod

This is VEF

**Mal Hombre** · September 21st, 2012, 08:17 PM

In the days when I still ate sweet things,I was very partial to Nice biscuits,Delicate and coconut flavoured,They are very er,,,,nice.

Oh And roto,This is GD&N,Of course nothing is sacred -We even have a thread devoted to it.....

**NIN** · September 21st, 2012, 08:36 PM

Jam & Cream ring from a Huntley & Palmers biscuit selection,

always the best coz it's the one they give you the least of

The guy who mentioned Oreo being the most disgust-dung thing in a biscuit convention is absolutely right

I think they were originally rejected by NASA as Space Shuttle tiles. Although they have near perfect heat resistant properties, they also have a tendency to harbour a sickly white residue betwixt them

OK then, let's go Top Gear on them thar biscuits and hand a packet over to our tame Biscuit eater....

Some say, he sells little blue tablets to Berlusconi and that a Honey Badger once refused to mate with him because he was "too rough"

and that the Pope once threatened to abdicate if his shoe maker refused to take his prototype Zonda from his parking space

..... It's the Stig !

and today he's chosen to ordain McVities' Belgian Chocolate Chip & Hazelnut Boasters

**rotobott** · September 21st, 2012, 08:47 PM

What are peoples feelings on dunking, I only ever dunk ginger biscuits, as otherwise they are inedible, but otherwise to dunk is to nullify the very essence of a biscuit, its crispness.

**Greenman** · September 21st, 2012, 09:02 PM

Digestives are good for dunking and Rich Tea biscuits too but it must be done swiftly or else you end up with a cup full of soggy biscuit.

**NIN** · September 21st, 2012, 09:37 PM

Whilst a dunk is a tasty & often messy treat

especially when playing Dunk Russian Roulette

.. who will dare to hold their biscuit in or over the cup longest - is good fun Yes

Dunking is an abomination upon the drink and offends the baby jesus

as he has to do the washing-up

But GM is quite right

, only the Rich Tea has the necessary elasticity for professional dunkology

Dunkology.., a collage diploma I just decided to invent & become a PHD in

Prof. NIN P.H.D. (Peculiar Hot Dunker)

**MemoryHunter** · September 22nd, 2012, 01:58 AM

Although many biscuits have been mentioned, I've seen nothing as regards the dunking liquid.

Imo:
If it's Tea, then a neutral, plain biscuit is best: Rich Tea, Lincoln, Hob Nob, Digestive, perhaps even shortbread, but care should be taken with shortbread - this is for advanced dunkers only. For the more experimental type, a garibaldi may be attempted, but a safety net is advisable.

For Coffee: chocolate topped or cream filled sandwich biscuits are also an option. Although (and this be viewed as sacrilege) I've never liked custard creams or bourbons.

However, a Jammy Dodger, Chocolate Hob Nob, or a Maryland Choc Chip are, to my mind well worth trying. My personal favourite at the moment is:

If it's Hot Chocolate or milk then anything goes.

It's at this point I may well be courting controversy.

The Jaffa Cake!* In coffee or Hot Chocolate - Mmmmmmm.
Likewise, the humble doughnut. Oh God... Even a stale doughnut can be rendered delicious with a dunk!

I'll leave you with this thought.

When I was a kid we used to go and visit my Great Grandmother every Sunday. I asked her once; "Why do you dunk your biscuits?" She said; "When you've got no teeth, it helps if your food is soft." Not that I'm implying anything you understand.

*The best definition I ever heard about the difference between a biscuit and a cake is; 'A biscuit is dry and a cake is moist. When either becomes stale the opposite applies.'

September 21st, 2012, 07:53 PM	#11
billybunter R.I.P. Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Gone But Not Forgotten Posts: 14,404 Thanks: 51,687 Thanked 252,373 Times in 14,171 Posts	I very very rarely eat anything sweet. No sweet tooth. If you ever have to withdraw from alcohol which I have done in double figures, you crave sweets. Alcohol as you know is full of sugar. I would discuss alcohol more, but the thread has gone?? __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

September 21st, 2012, 08:17 PM	#15
Mal Hombre El Super Moderador Join Date: May 2009 Location: Adoptive Monkey Hanger Posts: 58,144 Thanks: 772,791 Thanked 855,866 Times in 57,575 Posts	In the days when I still ate sweet things,I was very partial to Nice biscuits,Delicate and coconut flavoured,They are very er,,,,nice. Oh And roto,This is GD&N,Of course nothing is sacred -We even have a thread devoted to it..... __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. If in doubt, Just ask Yourself What Would Max Do ? It is a porn site,But its a Classy porn site. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

September 21st, 2012, 08:36 PM	#16
NIN Banned Join Date: Dec 2009 Posts: 8,823 Thanks: 200,569 Thanked 131,967 Times in 9,045 Posts	Jam & Cream ring from a Huntley & Palmers biscuit selection, always the best coz it's the one they give you the least of The guy who mentioned Oreo being the most disgust-dung thing in a biscuit convention is absolutely right I think they were originally rejected by NASA as Space Shuttle tiles. Although they have near perfect heat resistant properties, they also have a tendency to harbour a sickly white residue betwixt them OK then, let's go Top Gear on them thar biscuits and hand a packet over to our tame Biscuit eater.... Some say, he sells little blue tablets to Berlusconi and that a Honey Badger once refused to mate with him because he was "too rough" and that the Pope once threatened to abdicate if his shoe maker refused to take his prototype Zonda from his parking space ..... It's the Stig ! and today he's chosen to ordain McVities' Belgian Chocolate Chip & Hazelnut Boasters

September 21st, 2012, 09:02 PM	#18
Greenman Live Legend of VEF Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Underground lair somewhere in the world Posts: 20,353 Thanks: 30,936 Thanked 383,525 Times in 19,356 Posts	Digestives are good for dunking and Rich Tea biscuits too but it must be done swiftly or else you end up with a cup full of soggy biscuit. __________________ There was only ONE Greenman, and you accepted no substitutes! To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Rest in peace MaxJoker-you will be sorely missed. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. 20,000: Milestone reached!

September 21st, 2012, 09:37 PM	#19
NIN Banned Join Date: Dec 2009 Posts: 8,823 Thanks: 200,569 Thanked 131,967 Times in 9,045 Posts	My Humble Opinion... unnecessarily & forcefully made Whilst a dunk is a tasty & often messy treat especially when playing Dunk Russian Roulette .. who will dare to hold their biscuit in or over the cup longest - is good fun Yes Dunking is an abomination upon the drink and offends the baby jesus as he has to do the washing-up But GM is quite right , only the Rich Tea has the necessary elasticity for professional dunkology Dunkology.., a collage diploma I just decided to invent & become a PHD in Prof. NIN P.H.D. (Peculiar Hot Dunker)

September 21st, 2012, 08:09 PM	#13
rotobott Veteran Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Posts: 32,111 Thanks: 174,800 Thanked 634,708 Times in 31,432 Posts	I like biscuits, I have been pondering over which biscuit I like most,I come back to the thread, and it has been hijacked, you heartless bastards, is nothing sacred

September 21st, 2012, 08:47 PM	#17
rotobott Veteran Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Posts: 32,111 Thanks: 174,800 Thanked 634,708 Times in 31,432 Posts	What are peoples feelings on dunking, I only ever dunk ginger biscuits, as otherwise they are inedible, but otherwise to dunk is to nullify the very essence of a biscuit, its crispness.

September 22nd, 2012, 01:58 AM	#20
MemoryHunter Vintage Member Join Date: Apr 2012 Location: Sleepy Old Sussex, England Posts: 1,157 Thanks: 20,218 Thanked 18,259 Times in 1,144 Posts	It's Not Like I have Any Formal Dunkology Qualifications, But... Although many biscuits have been mentioned, I've seen nothing as regards the dunking liquid. Imo: If it's Tea, then a neutral, plain biscuit is best: Rich Tea, Lincoln, Hob Nob, Digestive, perhaps even shortbread, but care should be taken with shortbread - this is for advanced dunkers only. For the more experimental type, a garibaldi may be attempted, but a safety net is advisable. For Coffee: chocolate topped or cream filled sandwich biscuits are also an option. Although (and this be viewed as sacrilege) I've never liked custard creams or bourbons. However, a Jammy Dodger, Chocolate Hob Nob, or a Maryland Choc Chip are, to my mind well worth trying. My personal favourite at the moment is: If it's Hot Chocolate or milk then anything goes. It's at this point I may well be courting controversy. The Jaffa Cake!* In coffee or Hot Chocolate - Mmmmmmm. Likewise, the humble doughnut. Oh God... Even a stale doughnut can be rendered delicious with a dunk! I'll leave you with this thought. When I was a kid we used to go and visit my Great Grandmother every Sunday. I asked her once; "Why do you dunk your biscuits?" She said; "When you've got no teeth, it helps if your food is soft." Not that I'm implying anything you understand. The best definition I ever heard about the difference between a biscuit and a cake is; 'A biscuit is dry and a cake is moist. When either becomes stale the opposite applies.' __________________ If you can ID a Model in one of my posts, let me know, I'll update it, and credit you too. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.* Looking for a favourite, but you don't know her name? There's a To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. , that may help. It's for known models only, don't post requests, or you will be 'Mod-ified.'