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Old 02-19-2009, 12:46 PM   #1
MaxJoker
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Angry WORST films you`ve ever seen EVER !

Now if you`re like me (Not that i`d ever want to wish that on you) then you have seen more than your fair share of utter cinematic crap , some of which you watched because of great reviews only to be left open mouthed and fuming come the end (Or even in some cases a few minutes into it).

So why not share your experience and painfully earned wisdom here , for one thing you might get commiseration from members who`ve survived the same film and at the very least it`ll help us know what to avoid , plus it might be good for a laugh and god knows we can always do with more of that


Guess i`ll have to go first, and as such i`ll go with the last shitty film i saw .Which was yesterday and called Dark Corners , it cost me three pounds from now defunct Zavvi and stars Thora Birch an actress i really like. Only she seemed to hate being in the thing as much as i hated watching it , no surprise really because none of it made ANY sense and contained so many unexplained and pointless plots that at one stage i considered tearing my burning brain out and sticking it in the freezer !.

It also had the single most confusing ending ever , which i won`t spoil for anyone by describing here , mainly as i still don`t know what the hell it was all about ???.

Yet the worst thing about the DVD was the extra behind the scenes bit where we were treated to a masterclass in blind optimisum and sheer arrogance by director Ray Gower , who during his 20 minutes of talking to camera not only compares himself and his style to Lynch and Cronenberg, but says he`s a combination of them both !


" Avoid at ALL costs "



" But suitable as a gift for someone you hate "
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Last edited by MaxJoker; 05-31-2009 at 02:25 AM.. Reason: Amended title yet again
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Old 02-19-2009, 12:51 PM   #2
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The Matrix, I know it was very popular, I thought it was shite.
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Old 02-19-2009, 01:09 PM   #3
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That`s the spirit billybunter and in respect of The Matrix i have to agree ,i think it was mainly successful due to the , at the time , groundbreaking effects . But take those few moments out and it was overhyped rubbish that caught the makers totally unawares which is why they then rushed two sequels out each more stupid and rotten than before.

Anyway Keanu Reeves is so emotionless in those and every film i think they should always have a doctor in each one of his scenes , so that every couple of minutes he can take the dudes pulse then give the thumbs up to the audience just so we know the stars still alive !
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Old 02-19-2009, 03:42 PM   #4
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I think 'overrated' rather than the 'worst' would be a better adjective in this case, and it applies to 'The Di Vinci Code'. I know of no-one who actually admits to seeing it at the local Flix. I only saw it recently on DVD, and the rushed narrative and appalling sound quality were beyond belief, given the money that must have been spent on it, and the attendant publicity campaign. Quite awful.
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Old 02-19-2009, 03:51 PM   #5
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I think 'overrated' rather than the 'worst' would be a better adjective in this case, and it applies to 'The Di Vinci Code'. I know of no-one who actually admits to seeing it at the local Flix. I only saw it recently on DVD, and the rushed narrative and appalling sound quality were beyond belief, given the money that must have been spent on it, and the attendant publicity campaign. Quite awful.

We`ll have to agree to disagree on the term , either that or say "Worst" can encompass all possible negative parameters , which is what i was going for anyway

Oh and the code was very underrated , especially as an aid to curing insomnia ,also it was quite a bone of contention for me when award time came around.Why even now i still can`t believe Hanks hair wasn`t up for the best effect Oscar ?
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Last edited by MaxJoker; 05-29-2009 at 01:30 PM.. Reason: Spooling mitkee
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Old 02-19-2009, 03:53 PM   #6
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Originally Posted by billybunter View Post
The Matrix, I know it was very popular, I thought it was shite.
I fell asleep in the cinema during it, my GF hit me to stop me snoring, could not sit there anymore and walked out for a smoke and coffee

A few bad ones for me were all the Jaws sequels
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Old 02-19-2009, 06:14 PM   #7
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Thumbs down

Wild Hogs (2007)
was presented as a action adventure comedy, but wasn't really funny at all
one of the worst and most predictable movies I've ever seen..
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Old 02-19-2009, 07:54 PM   #8
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Default Moulin Rouge, Mission Impossible II & Top Gun

Moulin Rouge is so horrifyingly bad that even Nicole Kidman looking absolutely gorgeous (which she did) is not sufficient reason to persevere. Around about the time the 1890s Paris naughty nightclubbers started to sing ''Diamonds are a girl's best friend'' I felt an urgent need to self-harm. The film has superb visual production values, and must have been just as expensive to make as a film that is actually worth watching.

Mission Impossible II: nothing but an extended ego trip for Tom Cruise, even more unforgivable when you compare it with films like Jerry Maguire, The Firm, or Last Samurai, in which Cruise shows he can act. I watched MI2 for about 30 minutes because I was fascinated by just how bad it is.

Top Gun: similar ego issues for Le Cruise avec la tete enorme. This film is a time capsule for how gullible we were in the 1980s, so easily taken in by a glorified pop video. Also, all that male bonding and machismo, combined with beach volleyball in shorts. Hmm. Half expecting to find out that Peter North had a non-speaking part...
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Old 02-19-2009, 08:43 PM   #9
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It's a dead heat. Ken Russell's "Lair of the White Worm" - even a naked Amanda Donohoe couldn't save it - and Kenny Everett's "Bloodbath at the House of Death". Oh, and anythingwith Madonna in it. A telegraph pole would have added more to the Bond movie "Die Another Day" and been less wooden.
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Old 02-19-2009, 09:13 PM   #10
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Rabbit Test
Yeah, that was a stinker; but, I did manage to sit through it. However, I got up and walked out on "Beyond the Valley of the Dolls!" Russ Meyer's attempt to go mainstream was about as bad as it gets. I would have loved to see the old Mystery Science Theater 3000 crowd get a hold of this one. Bleech!


Speaking of going mainstream, the re-make of "Cape Fear" sucked as well. And, I like Scorsese.

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