Post your corny jokes - Page 1180

**gedly** · November 20th, 2016, 10:06 PM

Can insomnia ever be cured? I spent many sleepless nights dwelling upon that question.

**photoflex** · November 20th, 2016, 10:33 PM

As I dropped my kid off for his first day at high school, I said to him:
"Be positive."
"That's your blood type if things kick off."

-Frankie Boyle-

**gmcbee** · November 20th, 2016, 11:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jafad

Apparently my new book about poltergeists has been flying off the shelves.

My new book about anger management is all the rage.

**gmcbee** · November 20th, 2016, 11:58 PM

My new book about building the perfect basement is a.... best cellar.

(I'm so very sorry, please don't ban me.)

~~}[eywood~~ · November 21st, 2016, 12:13 AM

I tried to write a book about sex, but I never published it. It was fucked.

**trailmaster** · November 21st, 2016, 01:32 PM

When I see lovers' names carved in a tree. I don't think it's sweet. I just think it's surprising how many people bring a knife on a date.
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Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house? Of course, a house doesn't jump at all.
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Doctor: "I'm sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live."
Patient: "What do you mean, 10? 10 what? Months? Weeks?!"
Doctor: "Nine."
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A man asks a farmer near a field, "Sorry sir, would you mind if I crossed your field instead of going around it? You see, I have to catch the 4:23 train."
The farmer says, "Sure, go right ahead. And if my bull sees you, You'll even catch the 4:11 one."
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Anton, do you think I'm a bad mother? My name is Paul.
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My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad, finally I had to take his bike away.

**SanteeFats** · November 21st, 2016, 02:41 PM

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

Contest in a girl's college: write a short story which contains religion, sex and mystery.
Winner's story: "Oh god, I am pregnant, I wonder who did it."

**gedly** · November 21st, 2016, 07:43 PM

I've just had a book published about gossiping. Everybody's talking about it.

**Mal Hombre** · November 21st, 2016, 08:01 PM

I wrote a book about glue,People couldn't put it down...

**seany65** · November 21st, 2016, 08:31 PM

I've just written a book about Honesty.

It's not very good.

November 20th, 2016, 10:33 PM	#11792
photoflex Veteran Member Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Location: Location Posts: 3,583 Thanks: 37,927 Thanked 127,791 Times in 3,570 Posts	As I dropped my kid off for his first day at high school, I said to him: "Be positive." "That's your blood type if things kick off." -Frankie Boyle- __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. I love your thanks, but please thank the original posters first.

November 21st, 2016, 08:01 PM	#11799
Mal Hombre El Super Moderador Join Date: May 2009 Location: Adoptive Monkey Hanger Posts: 58,144 Thanks: 772,791 Thanked 855,880 Times in 57,575 Posts	I wrote a book about glue,People couldn't put it down... __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. If in doubt, Just ask Yourself What Would Max Do ? It is a porn site,But its a Classy porn site. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

November 21st, 2016, 08:31 PM	#11800
seany65 Vintage Member Join Date: May 2009 Posts: 3,653 Thanks: 80,476 Thanked 32,735 Times in 3,527 Posts	I've just written a book about Honesty. It's not very good. __________________ <-- That's Emer Kenny and I want to be stuck in her front bottom. Quote from electrofreak : I'd rather have questions that can't be answered, than answers that can't be questioned.

November 20th, 2016, 10:06 PM	#11791
gedly Veteran Member Join Date: May 2007 Posts: 3,234 Thanks: 19,886 Thanked 69,320 Times in 3,171 Posts	Can insomnia ever be cured? I spent many sleepless nights dwelling upon that question.

November 20th, 2016, 11:58 PM	#11794
gmcbee Vintage Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Clinging to the rim of a crater on the dark side of Uranus. Posts: 1,065 Thanks: 3,961 Thanked 11,051 Times in 1,042 Posts	My new book about building the perfect basement is a.... best cellar. (I'm so very sorry, please don't ban me.)

November 21st, 2016, 12:13 AM	#11795
~~}[eywood~~ Banned! Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: NY Posts: 548 Thanks: 123 Thanked 3,505 Times in 511 Posts	I tried to write a book about sex, but I never published it. It was fucked.

November 21st, 2016, 01:32 PM	#11796
trailmaster Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2013 Location: Chicago, Illinois, USA Posts: 59,905 Thanks: 1,329,115 Thanked 707,313 Times in 60,079 Posts	When I see lovers' names carved in a tree. I don't think it's sweet. I just think it's surprising how many people bring a knife on a date. -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house? Of course, a house doesn't jump at all. -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Doctor: "I'm sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live." Patient: "What do you mean, 10? 10 what? Months? Weeks?!" Doctor: "Nine." -------------------------------------------------------------------------- A man asks a farmer near a field, "Sorry sir, would you mind if I crossed your field instead of going around it? You see, I have to catch the 4:23 train." The farmer says, "Sure, go right ahead. And if my bull sees you, You'll even catch the 4:11 one." -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Anton, do you think I'm a bad mother? My name is Paul. -------------------------------------------------------------------------- My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad, finally I had to take his bike away.

November 21st, 2016, 02:41 PM	#11797
SanteeFats Super Moderator Join Date: Jul 2013 Location: Santee, Ca Posts: 60,850 Thanks: 281,907 Thanked 814,218 Times in 60,895 Posts	Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad. Contest in a girl's college: write a short story which contains religion, sex and mystery. Winner's story: "Oh god, I am pregnant, I wonder who did it."

November 21st, 2016, 07:43 PM	#11798
gedly Veteran Member Join Date: May 2007 Posts: 3,234 Thanks: 19,886 Thanked 69,320 Times in 3,171 Posts	I've just had a book published about gossiping. Everybody's talking about it.