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Old 06-07-2017, 11:04 PM   #3451
bowlinggreen
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Wish granted, but in order to get the money for those pay raises, you have to put risky ads all over VEF. After about 500 VEF members have their computers infected with malware, and many lose their porn collections, a mob of VEF members storms your house and beats the living bejeezus out of you.

A class action lawsuit is filed. VEF is taken away from you, and your wages are garnished forever to pay the huge settlement. Mal Hombre and Max Joker become the principle shareholders in the new VEF, and you are banned for life.

I wish Ariana Grande would do porn.
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Old 06-11-2017, 10:04 AM   #3452
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Wish granted.

But it's scat porn.

I wish they would start work on the next James Bond movie
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Old 06-14-2017, 11:24 PM   #3453
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Wish granted, they start tomorrow.

Unfortunately you are killed in a car crash 7 days before the premiere.

I wish for a gold-plated Rolls Royce and Malena Morgan sitting naked on my lap as I drive it down the highway.
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Old 07-04-2017, 09:10 PM   #3454
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"A class action lawsuit is filed. VEF is taken away from you, and your wages are garnished forever to pay the huge settlement. Mal Hombre and Max Joker become the principle shareholders in the new VEF, and you are banned for life."
Wow thats harsh jeese Max taking control ....

I wish for a gold-plated Rolls Royce and Malena Morgan sitting naked on my lap as I drive it down the highway
Bowlinggreen have you ever read the world according to Garp
Garp freewheeled down the steep hill as he always did into his driveway not noticing the Gold Plated roller parked there Malena was giving Bowlinggreen oral sex when the impact happened, she broke two teeth, strained her neck, and needed stitches in her tongue.
the force of collision was so powerful that she bit off three quarters of Bowlinggreens penis...
I wish for to go back in time and party with David Bowie and the Rolling Stones
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Old 07-04-2017, 11:45 PM   #3455
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I wish for to go back in time and party with David Bowie and the Rolling Stones
Wish granted. You are all getting along great and you are increasingly asked to join in, setting up equipment and even being asked to play second tambourine on a few album tracks.

Then Jagger and Bowie say "Hey Teaks, we are doing a remake of Dancing in the Street for charity. You can hold a note - why don't you join in? You can be in the video with us".

Gulp!

Now the whole world witnesses the bromance debacle and assumes that you are as gay as a row of tents. All lady action dries up for you over night but you are continually propositioned by chaps with lustrous moustaches.

I wish that, however much I spent, my wallet always had 1,000 in it.
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Old 07-05-2017, 03:03 PM   #3456
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Ignorant American Genie grants your wish and now you have 1,000 pounds in your wallet. 1,000 pounds of what, you don't want to know.

I wish I could travel in time to observe and not interfere in historical events.
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Old 07-05-2017, 09:31 PM   #3457
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Wish granted, but when you find out what actually happened during the Kennedy assassination, you just can't keep your mouth shut up in THIS time.

Turns out there are people in the US government who still care, and send some people to interfere - permanently - with you.

I wish for completely perfect health until I reach the age of 110, at which point I die peacefully in my sleep.
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Old 07-05-2017, 10:12 PM   #3458
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I wish for completely perfect health until I reach the age of 110, at which point I die peacefully in my sleep.
Okay.

Ah but...

You are now the saddest man on earth. You have watched your children grow old, ill and die - and all three of your wives. All your friends are dead long before you can celebrate your last birthday and you are too depressed to be bothered anyway. So it's self-fulfilling - on the eve of your 110th to take to your bed and wither away a broken man.

Cheer up! It didn't really happen.

I wish I could run faster than Usain Bolt after finishing my cigarette and downing a can of strong lager as I wait at the starting blocks.
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Old 07-06-2017, 12:02 AM   #3459
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I wish I could run faster than Usain Bolt after finishing my cigarette and downing a can of strong lager as I wait at the starting blocks.
Granted. Unfortunately your nicotine and alcohol wrecked body cannot cope with the effects of the performance enhancing drugs and your heart bursts. You collapse and die on the track screaming in agony.
I wish that it was 1969 again and I was embarking on my first sexual encounter with the same girl...but this time I wasn't a complete prat.

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Old 07-06-2017, 12:47 PM   #3460
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Wish granted as we would all wish for that (apart from the 1969 bit for me as I would be underage) however you are just a beginner of a prat. You fumble with buttons, cannot get her bra undone, try to put your member inside her while she still has her alan whickers on (because some mate at school told you she can't get pregnant that way) and she decides that you will become a complete prat soon, so she dumps you.

I wish I still could, because it seems I can't anymore !
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