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Old 08-29-2009, 07:17 AM   #1
mrfixit
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Big Grin Words Of Wisdom

This is a thread for any words of wisdome funny or not but funny is best.


If at first you don't succeed than sky-diving is not for you.

A journey of a 1000 miles begins with a broken fanbelt.
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Where's my Illudium PU-36 Explosive Space Modulator?
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Old 08-30-2009, 06:42 AM   #2
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Don't drink and drive.You might hit a bump and spill your drink.
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Where's my Illudium PU-36 Explosive Space Modulator?
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Old 08-30-2009, 07:45 AM   #3
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The best words of wisdom I can offer in this particular instance is: Before submitting a post, check your spelling!

Regards.
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Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour and it seems like a minute. That's relativity. (Einstein)
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Old 08-31-2009, 06:42 AM   #4
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spitalhouse I have a learning disability that affects how i read write and spell.I am doing the best I can.
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Old 08-31-2009, 12:45 PM   #5
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Nonsense is better than no sense at all.
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Old 08-31-2009, 01:33 PM   #6
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The early bird catches the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

Everyone brings joy to this office; some when they enter, others when they leave.

Theory and practice are the same in theory but different in practice.

You should never eat blackberries on the bushes if they are below waist height.

You never can truly tell when you have run out of invisible ink.

You're never too old to think you're still young.

There are 2 rules to being a success in life: 1. Never give out all the information.

Under Capitalism, man exploits man. Under Communism, the reverse is true.

Remember - the glass is half full if you're filling it and half empty if you're emptying it.

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Old 08-31-2009, 01:35 PM   #7
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Default Fourteen Things That It Took Me Over 50 Years To Learn, by Dave Barry

1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings."
3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."
4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
5. You should not confuse your career with your life.
6. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
7. Never lick a steak knife.
8. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.
9. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.
10. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
11. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.
12. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above-average drivers.
13. A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.
14. Your friends love you anyway.
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Old 08-31-2009, 07:45 PM   #8
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I like children. I especially like them when they go home with their parents.

There are only three things in life, but I forget what they are.
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Old 09-01-2009, 06:33 AM   #9
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He who laughs last still dosent get the joke.
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Old 09-02-2009, 10:12 PM   #10
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The truth is out there.Now,thatīs a lie. I already checked it.Twice,before posting.

Never trust a woman or a file host.Always protect your wallet and your links.

Thereīs Life without internet but not as we know it.

Hacked passwords and anonymous proxies are blessings.Use them wisely.They donīt last forever.
Download all you can and then,only then,jerk off.

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