WORST films you`ve ever seen EVER ! - Page 237

The Unknown Libertarian · December 29th, 2016, 11:37 PM

I mentioned it earlier, but I forgot how bad it was: Cool As Ice.

It was a terrible remake of Brando's The Wild One with elements of Rebel Without a Cause starring Vanilla Ice dressed as... well, I'm guessing some kind of a sad clown.

I'm not sure.

Rifftrax riffed on it. You can watch a clip of their take on it here. It's worth the $10-12 if you want to contribute to their endeavors or there are other ways to get it for—shall we say—less.

The Unknown Libertarian · December 30th, 2016, 12:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by yffudcm

I mentioned it earlier, but I forgot how bad it was: Cool As Ice.

It was a terrible remake of Brando's The Wild One with elements of Rebel Without a Cause starring Vanilla Ice dressed as... well, I'm guessing some kind of a sad clown.

I'm not sure.

Rifftrax riffed on it. You can watch a clip of their take on it here. It's worth the $10-12 if you want to contribute to their endeavors or there are other ways to get it for—shall we say—less.

Unbelievably, the plot revolves around an organizer that Vanilla Ice's character, Johnny, stole from the female lead, Kat (played by Kristin Minter—yes, she's been naked). Hitchcock would call this a MacGuffin.

As Bill Corbett observes "Forget Casablanca and Wuthering Heights: any love story not based on organizer theft is total garbage."

Here's Ice himself...

...summarizing the plot of the film.

Oh yeah: there's also a kidnapping. Kat's little brother, Tommy, who is inexplicably worshipful of Vanilla Ice's character, is kidnapped for reasons that aren't entirely clear, but they involve the guy who played the dad on Alf. Or maybe the dad on Family Ties. I get those two shows confused.

As you might predict, Johnny rescues Tommy from the kidnappers, simultaneously winning the heart of Kat and the respect of her parents and proving that, though he might be a rebel, he's a rebel with a heart.

:barf:

Also, she finally gets her organizer back.

The Unknown Libertarian · December 30th, 2016, 07:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ManofKent

This sounds less like a sci-fi movie and more like something out of the 3 Stooges (or failing that, Albert and Costello).

ManofKent, I'm too big of a fan of Abbott and Costello to not say something.

It's Bud Abbott and Lou Costello

Save

MaxJoker · February 26th, 2017, 02:21 PM

I was going to end up despising this anyway. Because misinterpretation of a film`s lead actor doesn't half shit me off

Like it wasn't bad enough the two gimps we see practically the entire time. Base their acting style on the pathetic tired assumption that continually pretending you`re out of breath , is acting.

Sienna Guillory the one falsely tagged as the lead is barely seen on screen for at most five minutes

Which considering she was the only reason I watched it makes me hate it for lying

**Heartbreaksoup** · March 12th, 2017, 03:31 AM

Dario Argento's "Suspiria."

I know that film's sacred ground for some horror and Euro-sleaze fans, but I think it's the most boring thing ever filmed, full of characters who don't know how to resolve situations or get answers, visuals that are included for shock value but don't make any narrative sense, and a soundtrack that sounds like something heavy falling down a fire escape.

**Heartbreaksoup** · March 12th, 2017, 03:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Unknown Libertarian

I actually just watch the RiffTrax version of Plan 9 last night. Earlier in the day, I had watched the RiffTrax version of Manos and on Christmas day, I watched the Cinematic Titanic take on Santa Claus Conquers the Martians.

If you can only watch one of the three, go for the RiffTrax take on Manos. It's a worse movie than either of the other two and the riffs are superior. The guys are in top form.

The MST3K take on Manos is one of their very best episodes. I love how the scientists actually apologize to Joel because the movie was even worse than they expected.

Marcsimus · May 19th, 2017, 04:22 PM

The Sylvester Stallone version of "Get Carter". A truly awful film, how Michael Caine could ever lower himself to star in such an abomination of a movie..........

**Mal Hombre** · May 19th, 2017, 04:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Marcsimus

The Sylvester Stallone version of "Get Carter". A truly awful film, how Michael Caine could ever lower himself to star in such an abomination of a movie..........

He covered His eyes with the cheque...

Marcsimus · May 19th, 2017, 04:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mal Hombre

He covered His eyes with the cheque...

Didn't he do the same thing with his payment for "Jaws, The Revenge"?

MaxJoker · May 19th, 2017, 05:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Marcsimus

Didn't he do the same thing with his payment for "Jaws, The Revenge"?

No he cashed it , then bought a second home lovely enough to blow our bleeding balls off

December 29th, 2016, 11:37 PM	#2361
The Unknown Libertarian Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2015 Location: USA Posts: 228 Thanks: 7,720 Thanked 2,977 Times in 214 Posts	I mentioned it earlier, but I forgot how bad it was: Cool As Ice. It was a terrible remake of Brando's The Wild One with elements of Rebel Without a Cause starring Vanilla Ice dressed as... well, I'm guessing some kind of a sad clown. I'm not sure. Rifftrax riffed on it. You can watch a clip of their take on it here. It's worth the $10-12 if you want to contribute to their endeavors or there are other ways to get it for—shall we say—less. __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

February 26th, 2017, 02:21 PM	#2364
MaxJoker Beloved Brother Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19 Posts: 69,106 Thanks: 372,713 Thanked 987,580 Times in 69,067 Posts	It`s a cut and paste dull story pretending to be relevant while displaying astounding banality I was going to end up despising this anyway. Because misinterpretation of a film`s lead actor doesn't half shit me off Like it wasn't bad enough the two gimps we see practically the entire time. Base their acting style on the pathetic tired assumption that continually pretending you`re out of breath , is acting. Sienna Guillory the one falsely tagged as the lead is barely seen on screen for at most five minutes Which considering she was the only reason I watched it makes me hate it for lying __________________ My hypocrisy only goes so To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

March 12th, 2017, 03:31 AM	#2365
Heartbreaksoup Vintage Member Join Date: Dec 2013 Posts: 2,486 Thanks: 1,163 Thanked 24,531 Times in 2,430 Posts	Dario Argento's "Suspiria." I know that film's sacred ground for some horror and Euro-sleaze fans, but I think it's the most boring thing ever filmed, full of characters who don't know how to resolve situations or get answers, visuals that are included for shock value but don't make any narrative sense, and a soundtrack that sounds like something heavy falling down a fire escape. __________________ !!! I'm looking for rare SuicideGirls sets! To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. !!!

May 19th, 2017, 04:22 PM	#2367
Marcsimus Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2010 Location: Number 22 Acacia Avenue....... Posts: 286 Thanks: 83,483 Thanked 3,341 Times in 269 Posts	The Sylvester Stallone version of "Get Carter". A truly awful film, how Michael Caine could ever lower himself to star in such an abomination of a movie..........