The Late Late Late Well Out Of Date News Flash Thread !

[Nobody1]

Originally Posted by rotobott

I disagree, they should be allowed to breed.

A daughter could grow up to be a world class athlete like Martina.

A son could grow up to be a world class singer like David Bowie

Reminds me a little of the famous meeting of Albert Einstein and Marilyn Monroe.

Marilyn Monroe suggests to Einstein: What do you say, professor, shouldn't we marry and have a little baby together? What a beautifull baby it would be! My look and your intelligence.

Einstein: I'm afraid, dear lady, it might be the other way around.

[TCO95]

Italian explorer and man-about-town Christopher Columbus claims he found a whole new continent between here and Asia.

In an exclusive interview with News Of The World Mr. Columbus had this to say "We sailed east until we thought we had hit India and in fact it was a whole new continent. They had never heard of India or Africa or Spain for that matter. They had no Cathedrals, Churches or formalized religion that I could tell. They spend their days living as they please, eating what seemed like a never ending supply of food, sharing the land with the animals and birds. They dress for the weather, often going around nearly naked. This includes the woman! Many of them have grown up never having known war. We must get back and civilize these people and the sooner the better."

Mr Columbus related other tales that made this reporter cringe. How they had smoked a 'pipe of peace' which caused his men to lose their civility and in one case attempt to remove his underpants over his head. Several of Mr. Columbus' crew decided to stay in the 'New World'. No doubt their minds altered by these devilish tricksters. This reporter feels we need to send the Spanish Armada to this 'New World' to liberate those brave men and deliver a heavy dose of the Good Book.

Rupert Murdoch, Mrs.

[MaxJoker]

The star of Shogun (Mini series) and infamous ladies man Richard (Dicky) Chamberlain rigidly denies ever having taken delivery of a steaming hot (His words) member around the tradesman's entrance.



Which must be true as even his current BF says he`s yet to meet a man straighter !

[TCO95]

Italian astronomer and physicist Galileo Galilei claims the center of our universe is the Sun and not the Earth. He claims to have observed the Earth and other planets circling the Sun and not the other way around. The Roman Inquisition have taken his findings for further study. However, early reports suggest Galileo's 'facts' are only a possibility. When reached for comment Mr Galilei had this to say "The facts are the facts and whether you believe them or not I will never retract my statements."

[Nobody1]

Originally Posted by TCO95

Italian astronomer and physicist Galileo Galilei claims the center of our universe is the Sun and not the Earth. He claims to have observed the Earth and other planets circling the Sun and not the other way around. The Roman Inquisition have taken his findings for further study. However, early reports suggest Galileo's 'facts' are only a possibility. When reached for comment Mr Galilei had this to say "The facts are the facts and whether you believe them or not I will never retract my statements."

I've heard of that. Italians. What a wacko. God have mercy on us. The sun is the middle of the Universe? Sure. I asked my pastor (can't read or write unfortunately). He says this is not in the Bible. God have mercy on us.
We have a wise man in our little village. He is our wood leg carver. He says that too. He must know it because the pastor has told him. He has personally carved the wooden legs of me and my wife. They fit like a glove. We have never lost one, even if we make our daily race on our little acre. God have mercy on us.
He also makes great wooden teeth. They stink really bad, but you can't just suck the meat the whole time. We have already paid half. God have mercy on us.

I know those Galilei guys. They always know everything better. Have they not seen all the obvious evidence in the scriptures ? These are fanatics which walk about corpses to protect their superstitions. They are really dangerous. Unfortunately, his holiness the Pope will can't do anything. Such a madman will not forswear, even by the sight of a funeral pyre. God have mercy on us.

God will certainly punish us all for our iniquities.

[rotobott]

Obvious nonsense, the Earth being flat if it were to rotate round the sun, we would all be blown off.

What will they think of next tish

[Mal Hombre]

It seemes Master Isaac Newton hath published a Theory of Gravity,A force which hath the power to hold the very Earth in orbit about the Sunne,Master Newton saith He conceived His idea when an apple smote His heade,We feare this ill- omened fruit hath addled poore Master Newton's brains considerably.

[MaxJoker]

Pop whore , sorry i mean pop princess Rihanna and talentless arsehole , sorry i mean arsehole who`s untalented , Chris Brown are now officially an item ,and the man himself couldn`t be happier . In fact he told this coke addled eagle eared V.E.F reporter that ....



" Lawdy , i`s dun luv dat bitch so`s much i`s never wood`s hurt a hair`s on her head an shit, course i would`s mess up un her face som ,but only if da cnut ever`s be dis-ras-pect-un-me ! "




Wise words from the total cretin i`m sure you`ll agree, along with the wide white eyed obvious fact those two kids were made for each other

[keefriff]

"I don't know Kathy....a new life in Guyuna, daily chanting and Kool-Aid after dinner? This Rev. Jones seems a little too pushy to me."

[MaxJoker]

Mohammad Reza Pahlavi has married the equally non-CIA funded/backed Farah Pahlavi. Gosh do those two ever look like a couple who place their population`s welfare before their own self aggrandisement or what !.



In fact the Shah assured this bright eyed non chronic alcoholic VEF reporter that the whole of Iran is overjoyed at the wedding ,and all want him and her to rule over them forever more.

Ahhhhh bless