X Thousand Things We Learned From Watching Porn - Page 45

**HugoHackenbush** · October 24th, 2017, 08:17 PM

513. In the middle of a sexual encounter no one has ever said "What are you doing? Stop that!"

**CARLTON BROWN** · October 24th, 2017, 11:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by palo5

That's possible, but if you washed a sewage pipe, a hygienist still wouldn't advise you to eat from it

I think an enema before the performance is pretty much standard practice with the adult (US/European) studios, as well as all the actors undergoing routine health checks and agreeing to various legal requirements. Many French videos no longer seem to show unprotected vaginal/anal sex, but I don't know if this is an official rule or not.

That aside, there are often things that go on behind the scenes with film productions we are unaware of, like the male actors not being able to get it up and close-ups/blow jobs being performed by a stand in. What's shown in the finished production is all that matters and generally, what you see with anal sex, is no protection, no signs of lubricant used while having sex, a clean dry penis when removed and mostly, a tidy woman's anus, often matching her surgically modified pussy.

Not being gay, I don't have any interest in watching videos of men having sex with each other, but I suspect it's visually presented in much the same way.

**palo5** · October 25th, 2017, 12:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CARLTON BROWN

...
That aside, there are often things that go on behind the scenes with film productions we are unaware of, like the male actors not being able to get it up and close-ups/blow jobs being performed by a stand in. What's shown in the finished production is all that matters...

Such as the mopes masturbating so long for the cumshot. Good directors would cut this useless footage by 90%, but too often they don't

**HugoHackenbush** · October 26th, 2017, 01:26 PM

514. Female employees of the US Postal Service not only wear high heels at work, but also wear stockings and garter belts underneath their work uniform.

**steamjon** · October 26th, 2017, 08:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HugoHackenbush

514. Female employees of the US Postal Service not only wear high heels at work, but also wear stockings and garter belts underneath their work uniform.

Now that is what I call going postal

515. When female postwomen deliver the mail, they always open the flap.

**CARLTON BROWN** · October 27th, 2017, 03:49 PM

516. When having sex with a woman, always make sure you have a camcorder in your hand, which should be aimed downwards at the area between your legs.

516B. Make sure you use an extremely wide angle lens while doing this to maximize distortion. A GoPro is quite a good choice.

**HugoHackenbush** · October 27th, 2017, 06:05 PM

517. When a couple starts to get frisky in a location that is not well suited to having sex, say a warehouse, garage or kitchen, they must stay there to have sex, despite more comfortable locations being available.

**Jake Gittes** · November 1st, 2017, 05:22 AM

518 ~ Aside from keeping their hair up (perfectly normal, perfectly healthy

) they will also wear earrings, eye-shadow, and makeup in the shower!

EX A: Sharon Kane in Summer School, Scene 4

**HugoHackenbush** · November 15th, 2017, 07:01 PM

519. Your charming neighborhood antique shop will have a charming antique king size bed mere steps away from the cash register, furthering the chance of spontaneous sexual encounters.

520. During these spontaneous sexual encounters, no one will bother to lock the front door of said charming antique shop.

521. If a person of either sex walks through the unlocked front door of charming antique shop while a spontaneous sexual encounter is happening, they will be invited to join in the fun.

**steamjon** · November 16th, 2017, 12:12 AM

522. Any sex scene set in an antique shop will always have one genuine antique. Step forward Ron Jeremy.

October 24th, 2017, 08:17 PM	#441
HugoHackenbush Veteran Marxist Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: Wherever it's warm Posts: 14,182 Thanks: 206,155 Thanked 337,440 Times in 14,231 Posts	Ahem...back on topic 513. In the middle of a sexual encounter no one has ever said "What are you doing? Stop that!" __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Just give me your body - I'll give you my brain - it's a fair exchange

October 26th, 2017, 01:26 PM	#444
HugoHackenbush Veteran Marxist Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: Wherever it's warm Posts: 14,182 Thanks: 206,155 Thanked 337,440 Times in 14,231 Posts	514. Female employees of the US Postal Service not only wear high heels at work, but also wear stockings and garter belts underneath their work uniform. __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Just give me your body - I'll give you my brain - it's a fair exchange

October 27th, 2017, 06:05 PM	#447
HugoHackenbush Veteran Marxist Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: Wherever it's warm Posts: 14,182 Thanks: 206,155 Thanked 337,440 Times in 14,231 Posts	517. When a couple starts to get frisky in a location that is not well suited to having sex, say a warehouse, garage or kitchen, they must stay there to have sex, despite more comfortable locations being available. __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Just give me your body - I'll give you my brain - it's a fair exchange

November 1st, 2017, 05:22 AM	#448
Jake Gittes Swimming in Ecstasy Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: Skinny dipping with mermaids in a beautiful, uncharted tropical paradise Posts: 6,099 Thanks: 145,520 Thanked 106,658 Times in 6,180 Posts	You learn a lot by Modding in Classic Pornstars... 518 ~ Aside from keeping their hair up (perfectly normal, perfectly healthy ) they will also wear earrings, eye-shadow, and makeup in the shower! EX A: Sharon Kane in Summer School, Scene 4 __________________ If you come across a dead link in a post, PM the OP to see if it can be re-uploaded To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Please consider adding a note in your signature if you can re-upload your photos/video links To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Please PM me if any of my posts are down To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Life is easier when you don't take it too seriously To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

November 15th, 2017, 07:01 PM	#449
HugoHackenbush Veteran Marxist Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: Wherever it's warm Posts: 14,182 Thanks: 206,155 Thanked 337,440 Times in 14,231 Posts	519. Your charming neighborhood antique shop will have a charming antique king size bed mere steps away from the cash register, furthering the chance of spontaneous sexual encounters. 520. During these spontaneous sexual encounters, no one will bother to lock the front door of said charming antique shop. 521. If a person of either sex walks through the unlocked front door of charming antique shop while a spontaneous sexual encounter is happening, they will be invited to join in the fun. __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Just give me your body - I'll give you my brain - it's a fair exchange

October 27th, 2017, 03:49 PM	#446
CARLTON BROWN Grand Vizier Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Ruraltania Posts: 3,224 Thanks: 35,728 Thanked 35,662 Times in 3,216 Posts	516. When having sex with a woman, always make sure you have a camcorder in your hand, which should be aimed downwards at the area between your legs. 516B. Make sure you use an extremely wide angle lens while doing this to maximize distortion. A GoPro is quite a good choice.

November 16th, 2017, 12:12 AM	#450
steamjon Vintage Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Posts: 1,109 Thanks: 6,188 Thanked 22,400 Times in 1,260 Posts	522. Any sex scene set in an antique shop will always have one genuine antique. Step forward Ron Jeremy.