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April 30th, 2019, 06:47 PM | #14551 |
Vintage Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: In between Shirley Manson's thighs mostly
Posts: 683
Thanks: 11,930
Thanked 7,322 Times in 645 Posts
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Betcha I could get my dead ex girlfriend to do it.
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To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. ] To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. "I am the head of my state, the minister of my own church" --- Shirley Manson "I am immortal now so watch out you freaks!"--- Shirley Manson |
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April 30th, 2019, 10:49 PM | #14552 |
Vintage Idiot
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: History
Posts: 22,143
Thanks: 226,792
Thanked 357,056 Times in 21,638 Posts
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May 1st, 2019, 05:15 AM | #14553 |
Veteran Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Nearly there
Posts: 892
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Thanked 17,988 Times in 890 Posts
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Whenever I take my dog Stay to the park he gets confused.
I throw a stick and shout 'Fetch Stay! or shout 'Come here Stay.' |
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May 1st, 2019, 11:23 AM | #14554 |
Veteran Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Land Of Glorious Leader
Posts: 30,436
Thanks: 287,480
Thanked 387,060 Times in 30,387 Posts
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Q: What does a subatomic duck say?
A: Quark |
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May 1st, 2019, 12:41 PM | #14555 |
Veteran Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Chicago, Illinois, USA
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Thanks: 1,329,476
Thanked 707,615 Times in 60,108 Posts
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A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she stayed by his bedside every day. One day he told her, "You have been with me through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were there. When we lost the house, you were there. When my health started failing, you were there. You know what?"
"What is it dear?" she asked. He responded, "I think you bring me bad luck." |
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May 1st, 2019, 12:45 PM | #14556 |
Veteran Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 38,203
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Thanked 712,146 Times in 38,112 Posts
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What did the traffic light say to the car?
Don’t look! I’m about to change.
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-------------------------------------------------------------- Some hae meat, and canna eat. |
May 1st, 2019, 12:54 PM | #14557 |
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: The 19th hole
Posts: 58,189
Thanks: 450,173
Thanked 897,608 Times in 60,391 Posts
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May 1st, 2019, 01:57 PM | #14558 |
Vintage Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: In front of my PC with my cock in my hand......
Posts: 1,321
Thanks: 42,230
Thanked 13,787 Times in 1,292 Posts
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May 1st, 2019, 06:27 PM | #14559 |
Veteran Member
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 3,236
Thanks: 19,906
Thanked 69,347 Times in 3,173 Posts
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When my girlfriend sucks me off, I always wonder who is this Dr. Pepper she keeps mentioning?
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May 2nd, 2019, 06:18 PM | #14560 |
Beloved Brother
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19
Posts: 69,106
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Thanked 987,905 Times in 69,067 Posts
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Already got my next new years resolution sorted ,
Going to stop using spray on deodorant , Roll on 2020 !.
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